Loving Lawson
Page 11I laughed. “What did he do to deserve it?”
Heath just raised a brow, looking ominous now as he pulled out two plates and set them on the counter. “More like what didn’t he do to deserve it? Come on, Allie, you know what he’s like. Need I say more?”
I nodded after a moment of deliberation. Ryker was never easy, and I couldn’t imagine what a terror he’d been as a brother. There were some things as a boyfriend he’d enraged me by, mostly involving his temper and his need to have his way. Just thinking about it made me feel disappointed in myself. Why was it in hindsight you could see the cracks in a foundation you’d have otherwise thought was solid and smooth?
I helped Heath set the table. He served mashed potatoes and steak with gravy. We sat down and ate, and it was the tastiest food I’d had in months.
Afterwards, we lounged on the couch and watched some television. Heath fell asleep sometime along the way while I spent most of the night agonizing over how Ryker was going to take the news.
Six
Heath
I waited in the visiting room for a few minutes. The room was crowded with prisoners talking to their loved ones. I even spotted a kid or two. I tried to envision a small Ryker running around here, and the thought made me feel like I’d swallowed a bucket of needles.
What a sad few years that would be. But the kid wouldn’t really understand what was happening, right? Maybe it would be okay. After all, by the time Ryker got out and put his life back together, the kid might not really have been aware of what had happened. That was a good, positive thought to have, albeit naïve as hell.
When I finally spotted him walking in with an angry looking prison guard by his side, my being froze at the shiner and split lip he was sporting. His dark hair was longer, his frame thinner, his skin less tanned. Despite all that, he smiled at me, and I stood up to give him a big hug. He was as tall as me, but not as wide. I felt like I was hugging air by the amount of weight he’d lost, but I didn’t let my concern show on my face.
“How the fuck is it going, bro?” he said, patting me hard on the back.
We sat down and the guard took a few steps back, giving us space to talk. I looked about his long face and thin frame, and he was studying me just as interestedly too.
“You alright?” I asked, trying to downplay the bruises because Ryker was all about being tough, and if he thought you were pitying him in some way, he’d shut down and get aggressive.
He shrugged like it was nothing. “Yeah, man. I’m good. The bruises? Just a scuffle. Lot of fucking fighting in this place, but you know me. I hold up good. Can’t knock the Lawsons down, right? Fucking impenetrable.”
Not likely with the bruises, but I nodded anyway. “Yeah, man. How about the food, though? You seemed to have slimmed down a bit.”
“Some of it tastes like ass. I’m picky.” Another lie.
I laughed lightly, and I hoped he didn’t hear how fake it sounded. “Yeah, I know.”
He began to fidget. Small talk was clearly over. He scanned the room before leaning over the table. His eyes bore into mine and a serious look suddenly accompanied him. I knew what was coming. I could feel the shift in the air. The desperate kind.
“You been talking to Allie? We had a fight after I got arrested. She tell you that? Said we were done. I don’t know how serious she was. She hasn’t come around yet, and I’m really fucking losing my shit without her. Not a word from her, Heath, and it’s doing my head in, you know?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“I just…” He exhaled and shook his head. “I love that girl, and I need her to be here to see me. She’s all I think about. Tell me you’ve seen her.”
His eyes widened and that desperation grew. “Yeah? How’s my baby doing?”
I didn’t respond for a moment. Fuck, this was hard. How was I going to do this? I couldn’t look at him. I looked over his shoulder, eyeing the guard for a moment. It took seconds for Ryker to sense something was amiss, and the look of fear on his face fucking killed me.
“Tell me she hasn’t moved on,” he begged, his voice tightening. “Man, don’t look at me like that, Heath. Tell me she’s waiting for me.”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah, man, it’s not that…”
His shoulders relaxed a little. “Is she waiting?”
“She… She’s got a lot on her shoulders, Ryker, and you need to know about it.”
His brows came together. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you need to put aside whether she’s waiting for you or not because she’s got other problems –”
“Like what, Heath? Just out with it.”
I licked my lips slowly, carefully saying, “She came to me. She’s pregnant, Ryker. Her crazy ma kicked her out of the house when she found out. Apparently went all psycho on her, told her never to come around unless she wanted to be saved or some shit. She needed a place to crash, and I gave her your room. She saw the doctor yesterday. Nine weeks pregnant and got a twelve week ultrasound coming up next.”
“Pregnant?” he finally uttered out.
“Yeah, but I got it all figured out,” I quickly reassured him, leaning over the table to rest my hand on his shoulder.
He didn’t acknowledge my touch. Instead, his eyes glazed over and the shock continued to show in him. “Nine weeks?”
“Yeah.”
Come on, Ryker, snap out of it.
He did, but it wasn’t in a good way. He shrugged my hand off of him and rubbed his face in exasperation.
“Nine weeks,” he repeated before looking at me. “That’s enough time to get it taken care of, right?”
I pressed my lips down hard and didn’t respond. Really? This was the first fucking reaction he was giving me upon hearing the love of his life was pregnant?
“She’s still got time,” he continued. “You gotta tell her to get it done, man. Don’t let her get a fucking ultrasound. That shit will make her attached –”
“She’s not getting an abortion,” I icily interrupted him, feeling my back stiffen at the anger that was coursing through me. “Wanna know why? Because I talked her out of it.”