Love Unscripted

“Nick, Janelle, this is Taryn.” Ryan beamed.

Nick pulled me in instantly for a big hug. “It’s so nice to meet you! Welcome to the family!” he whispered in my ear.

“Thank you! It’s nice to meet you too!” I uttered back.

Janelle and I hugged next. She too welcomed me to the family. Ryan had already captured their daughter, Sarah, in his arms. The baby started to cry.

“She hasn’t seen you in six months, Ryan,” Janelle said, taking the baby from him. Poor Sarah was still crying.

“How old is she?” I asked.

“Ten months,” Janelle answered.

“She’s beautiful!” I tugged gently on her lacy outfit. “Look at the pretty flowers on your dress.”

The baby stopped crying and looked at me.

“Hi Sarah! It’s so nice to meet you! You look so pretty in your little dress!”

The baby smiled at me. Janelle looked at the baby then looked at me, smiling too.

“Can I hold you so mommy can take her coat off?”

Janelle leaned the baby towards me and I lifted her into my arms.

“Hi there! Do you want to go for a walk?” I paced around the living room with Sarah. She started to babble at me, telling me a big story and I answered her with sweet comments of my own.

I took her little coat off while she cooed at me.

“Say hi Uncle Ryan!” I waved her little hand at him. Ryan was forever smiling at me.

“Where’s my little peanut?” Bill asked for his granddaughter. “Come to grandpa!” He took the little girl out of my arms.

Sarah didn’t like it; she started to cry again.

We all moved into the family room, and Janelle set up a little play area on a blanket on the floor for her daughter.

Sarah was still crying while being passed around from person to person. Ryan tried holding her again but she didn’t want any of it. Her little face was turning red. I sat next to him on the couch and started talking to Sarah. I was glad she stopped crying so Ryan could enjoy holding her.

“What is it with you and kids?” Ryan asked me. “You’re like a freaking drug to them.”

His comment was absurd. I rolled my eyes and dismissed his question.

“See? Watch.” He held the baby away from me and she started to cry. He moved the baby next to me and she stopped. He repeated his little test and she cried when he held her away. The third time he did it, Sarah cried in both places.

“There goes that theory,” I kidded him.

“What are you doing to my poor child?” Janelle yelled.

“Experimenting,” Ryan replied. “Every time we’re around kids, they’re drawn to Taryn like a freaking magnet. Watch!”

I thought he was making a big deal out of nothing.

He held Sarah away from me; she was still crying. Then he put Sarah on my lap. I stood her up on my legs and held her to my chest. Sarah grasped my heart necklace in her tiny fingers.

Ryan grinned at me smugly when Sarah stopped crying. He held his hands out. “See what I mean?”

“It’s not me, it’s this necklace,” I defended. “Maybe it has special powers.”

“No, I think it’s you!” Ryan chimed back.

Sarah was busy playing with my necklace. Her little face puckered up with frustration when she couldn’t get my pendant in her mouth. I made a funny face back at her which caused my nose to tickle. That’s when I caught the scent of something else. I held her little bottom closer to my nose to confirm my suspicions.

“I’m not a drug, Ryan, I’m a laxative.” I stood up with the little girl to get her changed.

“Did she poop?” Nick snorted when he asked.

“Yep. Constipated children seek me out wherever I go.” I laughed.

“Bet Ry was a bit constipated when he stumbled onto you!” Nick joked.

“I was definitely backed up, that’s for sure,” Ryan mumbled under his breath, adjusting the waist of his jeans. “But I sat on Taryn’s lap for a few minutes and then I felt better.” Ryan grinned at him devilishly and Nick cracked up laughing.

I smirked at Ryan’s comment.

“What?” he questioned my reaction.

I handed Sarah to him. “Here, go do another rite of passage,” I suggested jokingly.

“What? Do you want me to change her? I don’t care.” He was all cool and confident.

“She’s eating solid foods now, Ry. Sure you won’t gag?” Nick asked.

“Give her to me,” Janelle instructed. “I’ll take her upstairs. We don’t want the superstar to get his hands dirty!”

“You punks don’t think I’m up for the challenge?” Ryan questioned assertively.

“Ten bucks says you gag,” Nick taunted. “What do you say, Dad? You want in on this bet?”

Bill reached into his pocket, searching for money.

“I’ll take that bet!” Ryan retorted. “Both of you!” He pointed.

The entire family followed Ryan upstairs to Nick’s old bedroom. Janelle placed a pad down on the bed and readied a new diaper. The rest of us stood around watching. All eyes were on Ryan, waiting for his reaction.

He undressed Sarah down to her diaper and had to ham it up by cracking his knuckles and wiggling his fingers.

“I should get the camera,” Nick mused.

“Nicholas!” Ellen scolded.

“What? Do you know how much money I could get for one picture of the movie star changing a poopy diaper?”

Janelle and I started laughing.

“Not as much money as you could get for a pair of his dirty underwear on eBay,” I mumbled.

“You both suck! You know that?” Ryan was peeling back the tape on the diaper and had to stop because we were teasing him.

“Taryn,” Nick whispered, “Gather up some of my brother’s ass-stained shorts and sell them quick so we can all go to Hawaii for Christmas.”

“You’re a dick!” Ryan looked directly at his brother. We were all laughing. “You can all just shut the hell up and get your money out!”

Janelle slapped a few wet-wipes in Ryan’s hand.

“Okay, I’m going in,” Ryan announced.

“Is that what you say to all your women?” Nick teased.

Ryan was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

“Boys!” Ellen yelled. “Poor Sarah is waiting! Change her diaper already!”

“Nick, go get the scuba gear.” Ryan had tears coming out of his eyes.