Love Unrehearsed

I just stared at him, avoiding having to answer.

“I can tell you they don’t,” he said. “And I sure as hell didn’t ask my lawyer to draft one up, either.” He started jabbing his finger on his touchscreen phone.

Ryan was breathing heavy while being placed on hold. “When he gets out of his meeting, you tell him I want to know who the hell told him to write a prenup on my behalf.” He hung up abruptly, without even saying goodbye.

Ryan stormed off toward the kitchen door and I had no choice but to follow.

“Ryan? What’s wrong? You look mad,” Ellen questioned when he used the kitchen sink.

“I’m not mad, Mom. I’m pissed.” Ellen quickly looked at me, trying to as-certain if I had caused his anger.

“What’s going on?” she continued to pry.

“You have a prenup with Dad?” he asked with a definite growl.

I saw the confusion blanket her face. “No.” Ryan glanced over his shoulder, casting me his see, I told ya look.

Ellen was smarter than I gave her credit for. She held up her hands, backing up and out of the conversation as if there were a ticking time bomb sitting on her kitchen floor.

“Ryan, things were different for them. Our parents didn’t have the amount of money that you do and—”

Even though his back was turned to me, the hand that shot out, slicing the air in my direction, was a definite cease-and-desist order. I stood there in silence, watching him hunch, his arms pressing into the stainless steel rim of the sink as if he were pressing his emotions back together.

“Time and time again, we keep coming back to the same spot,” he muttered at the sink. “I know there are no guarantees”—he turned to face me—“but the reason why neither of our parents had a prenuptial agreement was because they didn’t start out in their marriage by preparing for it to end.” I pulled a chair out at the large oval dining table, feeling the need to anchor myself. He said the words that were in the back of my mind. “I know.”

“You want us to start out that way? You want some paper that says if I fuck around or if I don’t sit down and talk shit out and work through our problems that you’d get a few million tossed at you?”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t. But apparently your people think differently.” Ryan’s lips squashed together in frustrated anger. He pushed his hair back, scratching his head, venting his anger in an audible huff. I knew that one wasn’t because of me.

“I’d never take from you regardless.” His shoulders dropped. “That’s why I want to give you everything.” My breath hitched. “I already have the part that I want. Love is priceless.” He came over to the table, pulled out the chair next to me, and sat down, our knees touching.

“You have a lot of other stakeholders concerned about your bottom line, Ryan. Even agreements for our wedding photos and stuff, like you said. All of those things; it all has to be legal.”

Ryan took my hand in his. “You need to realize that I’d cut them all loose before I’d risk losing you.”

I leaned into the other hand cupping my cheek. “I want you to feel safe with me forever, even if that means signing something to give you that.”

“Tar, I know you’re not a taker. You’re the most giving person I’ve ever known.” His frown softened. “I do not want that kind of paper looming between us.”

“Escape clause,” I muttered.

“What?”

“Escape clause. It outlines how everything gets divvied up in the event of a divorce. Did you know that Marie and Gary are fighting over who gets to keep the TVs and dishes?”

Ryan sighed, disgusted. His eyes met mine. “And you think that might happen between us.”

I felt my head shake, but facts were facts.

“I’m watching my best friend get her heart torn out and working on a new relationship at the same time while arguing about who gets the toaster. She and Gary made it three years. I just don’t want you to ever worry about me taking your TV.”

He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “We are going to blend our lives together. We’re going to have a family. But I’m not starting our marriage with a paper that outlines how we end it. Family is important to me. Baby, we will go to counseling to straighten our shit out before we start picking fights over a damn toaster.”

“You really mean that?”

“I do. Taryn, I know being in a relationship with me comes with an entire set of stressors that normal people never have to deal with. But you cut that away and I’m still me. I’m just a man.”

“I know.” I drew in a deep breath. “The prenup thing really surprised me.”

“It threw me, too. And you’re right. We need to talk about all of this. And if you need me to put it in writing that I’ll never stray, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Mom’s quips of wisdom flooded my thoughts. “No. I don’t need that, because I know that inside, my man has a heart of gold.”

Knowing he was fully invested in our relationship made all the difference in the world.

Chapter 19

Roots

“And this lovely lady is my crazy cousin Shannan,” Ryan said jovially, hugging the next person lining up to greet us with playful familiarity. Ryan’s mom had apparently invited every relative and their entire neighborhood to our engagement party. My brain was reeling from meeting so many new people.

He hoisted Shannan up by her waist, her long brown hair curtaining her face.

“Ah! Ryan! Put me down!” Shannan squealed, thrashing a bit. She had to fix her shirt when he set her back down, all flustered. She gave him a nudging slap.

“You’re a nut.”

It was so magnificent to see Ryan so relaxed and happy, seeing his extended family again. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“And who is this handsome young man?” Ryan asked, patting the head of an adorable little boy. He must have been around seven or eight, holding a black skater’s helmet in his hand.

“That’s Caden,” Shannan said. “You haven’t seen him in a while.” Ryan looked stunned. “Caden? Dude, you’ve grown. You were like this big when I saw you last.”

Caden regarded Ryan with a scrutinizing gaze. “You look like that guy who’s in that movie my mom likes so much.” Shannan appeared mortified by his disclosure, silently nudging her son to go and play.