Love Unrehearsed

“It’s hard not to. Whatever. At least now I know why he did it.”

His cheek brushed my forehead. “Then I’m glad you got closure. There are too many past hurts standing in our way. Yours and mine.”

I had to remind myself that we’d both been betrayed by lovers. “His infidelity broke me.”

He tipped my chin up again and kissed me. “Nothing that I can’t fix.” He smiled gently, warming my battered spirit. I loved this man so deeply I could hardly contain it, knowing that he would weather any storm in our path. I needed to kiss him more than I needed anything else in the world.

Ryan’s teeth grazed my bottom lip but then he pulled back, not letting himself get carried away, though I could see that he had to fight his body for control. Knowing that he was restraining his urges to care for me this way was more than any gift he could ever give me. I rested on his chest, content in knowing that he’d get me through whatever life had in store for me.

Regardless of my feelings for Thomas, seeing him cry at Melanie’s funeral emotionally ravaged me and those thoughts of her passing were still swirling in my mind. “I can’t believe Melanie is gone. It’s hard to process that.”

“It sucks. I had a good friend in high school die in a car wreck. For weeks after it happened, I could have sworn I heard his voice in the halls.” He took a deep breath. “I was supposed to hang out with him the night he died. When I think about how close I came to . . . well, I think about it sometimes.” I glanced up at him, grateful to be able to share these things.

“Wasn’t your time.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s been a few years since I’d seen her last. I guess that put some distance in our friendship. And I know that Thomas is devastated by it. He came looking for comfort and we sort of jumped on him. I feel crappy about it, actually. They both were a huge part of my life for a lot of years. I shouldn’t have treated him so callously.”

Ryan sniffed and I could tell he didn’t agree. “I know you two have history but he had to be told that that’s where it stays . . . in the past. I have enough shit to worry about without having to worry about him trying to worm his way back into your life.” I groaned, wrapping my thigh over his.

“He’s not going to worm his way back in. You know you have nothing to worry about.”

“Just making sure it stays that way. Still, he needed to hear that from me. You leave a guy an in and he’ll take it.”

“I’d say you got your point across. Doesn’t matter. He’s history.”

Ryan cupped some water and poured it down his face. I could sense his frustration.

“Are you really that bothered by him?”

“No.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Then what is it?”

He seemed hesitant. “We got other shit to worry about.”

I held his eyes until he broke. “I know this isn’t the best time to talk about this but I want to keep you informed before you hear it from someone else.”

I closed my eyes, fearing what he had to say.

“Marla is threatening to sue me for breach of contract.”

I actually relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief before fully processing his words.

“What?”

“My lawyer, Len Bainbridge, called me yesterday. He and David are working it out but I have to settle up with her. Her bill was seventy-five thousand.”

“Are you going to pay that?”

“I’m going to have to. But not until we get all the expensive lawyers involved first.”

“God, she’s infuriating. I still think she’s the one who leaked your anxiety medicine to the press.”

“I think so, too. Can’t prove it, though, unless we find the source. I’ll mention that to my lawyer.”

“Well, I doubt it was Trish. She’s got too much to lose being that careless. And it surely wasn’t Mike. None of my friends know, well, besides Marie. Your family wouldn’t talk to the press, so that leaves David, Marla, or the woman at the pharmacy.”

“David wouldn’t talk to the press.”

“Well, then what does that tell you?”

“Tells me that the list of people I can trust just got smaller.”

I was feeling mostly relaxed and right with the world when we came back to the apartment on Sunday—that was until we had to deal with the four fangirls camped out by my back door. I was shocked that these college-aged girls had nothing more important to do with their lives than hang out in an alleyway all day hoping for a glimpse of Ryan.

Ryan, of course, was gracious as always, signing crap and posing several times until they were all satisfied with the pictures they captured.

We have to move, I thought as we trudged up the steps, trying to be loud enough so we wouldn’t walk into an awkward situation going on inside my apartment.

Mike was sprawled out on my couch, wearing nothing but baggy gray sweatpants, a black sleeveless undershirt, and a wellsated glow. He looked like a giant lion lying belly-up in the sun with his legs hanging open, licking his paws and airing out his balls. I figured Marie would be twined around him, enjoying their postcoital bliss, but she was in the kitchen making coffee.

“You both look well rested,” she said, smiling at Ryan and me. Ryan winked at her and took our bags to our room.

I took a cup out of the cabinet. “We had a couples massage yesterday. I wish I could hire someone to do nothing but rub my shoulders every day. You look well ridden and glowing yourself.”

“You know it.” Marie gave me a high-five.

She carried a cup of coffee out to Mike. Ryan had his feet up on my coffee table, looking just as relaxed and contented as his buddy.

The lascivious grins flying around my living room were humorous. I felt my body heat up just from thinking about what Ryan did to me that morning . . . and the night before . . .

and after our couples massage yesterday.

The way Mike looked at Marie, I wondered if he was already falling in love with her.

Marie sat on the arm of the couch next to Mike. I liked seeing him reach for her with tender familiarity, as if he couldn’t wait to touch her again. “Do you think you guys can help me today?” Her eyes traveled over each of us. “I’d like to get some of my stuff from my old house.”

Within an hour, we were all standing in Gary’s front yard. Seeing Marie have to knock on her own front door to gain access infuriated me. The bastard actually had the audacity to change all the door locks on her.