Love Me If You Dare (Bachelor Blogs 2)
Page 62So, when he finally could speak, it wasn’t gratitude for her safety or praise in how she’d handled Joy that came out.
“I don’t know what the hell more you want from me!” Rafe exploded in anger instead.
Sara blinked in surprise before she quickly regained her composure. “I’m sorry.”
Her words didn’t deflate his feelings of hurt and betrayal. “For what? For not trusting me enough to get you home? For not believing in me enough to stick around? Or wait—maybe it’s for not loving me enough for all of the above?”
Sara opened her mouth, then closed it again. She drew a deep breath. “I do.”
“What?”
“I do love you.” Her voice trembled. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “It’s the trusting in the future I have a hard time with.”
He shook his head in disbelief. Only Sara could turn an I love you into something he couldn’t celebrate.
“Well, guess what? It’s just not good enough. I’ve put myself out there for you, shown you exactly what we could have together if you’d let down your guard—and you still question it?” He raised his hands in the air. “I’m finished. Come back to my place and get some sleep. I’ll follow you back to New York in the morning.” He turned to head back to his car.
“Rafe, wait.” Sara’s voice stopped him.
He turned around, but he wasn’t interested in whatever she had to say. “Look, I think we’re finished talking. And don’t worry. I’ll be sleeping in the extra room, so there will be no mixed signals from me from here on in.”
AFTER LEAVING RAFE’S, Nick stopped in town for flowers and headed over to Angel’s like a man on a mission—only to be stopped by a call from his brother telling him he’d found Sara’s car on the side of the road with no sign of her. Since then, the flowers sat on the counter—their meaning undiscussed—while Nick and Angel held vigil and waited for news on Sara.
“Good news?” Angel asked once Nick had hung up the phone with Rafe.
Nick shrugged. “Depends on your definition. Is Sara safe? Yes, she is. Are they back together? No, they aren’t.” The news was a kick in the gut on many levels. Because Nick had believed in Rafe’s ability to go after Sara and win.
Angel walked over to where Nick sat on the couch in the family room. “As long as Sara’s okay, the rest will come,” she said, her tone full of certainty.
“Will it? Really? Why are you so sure they can make it if we can’t? We have history. Not just in years together, but in shared experience and memories, good and bad. Yet we sit in that therapist’s office, and, if not for me, we’d be sitting in complete silence.” And he couldn’t take it another second.
“Why did you come here? Before we got the call about Sara, you showed up with flowers. Why?”
“Because I love you. Because you’re my wife, for better or for worse, and I want you back. And because I finally realize I’m not the one who placed this damn business between us—you did!” He rose and grasped her by the arms, so their faces were inches apart.
“You hate this place.”
“Only because you use it as a wall between us!” He counted to five, gathering his courage. “We lost another baby, and we never talked about it. You never cried. And I never pushed you. Instead, you turned to this business, and I complained that it took you away from me. But that’s not it at all.”
Angel shook her head. “Please don’t make me do this,” she said, her voice breaking along with his heart.
“We lost two babies, and I’d never ask you to get pregnant again, to go through that kind of agony and loss again, but we lost something together. We lost the dream of a family. We didn’t grieve together. Hell, Angel, I don’t know if you even grieved alone!”
“I grieved in my own way.”
“But you didn’t cry.”
“Because I was afraid if I did, I’d never, ever stop!” she yelled at him, her voice breaking along with the damn wall she’d built up and kept between them.
Her shoulders shook, and she slid to the ground, aching sobs escaping. All Nick could do was settle in beside her, hold her tight, and be there while she mourned.
He prayed that when this was over, they could make a fresh start—and that this time, it would be together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
SARA HEADED HOME TO tie up the loose ends in her life. There was nothing like seeing your life flash before your eyes to make a person want to reevaluate what was important.
She had no choice but to tackle her issues in priority order, starting with business and John Morley. From the moment she arrived back in New York, she had police protection. Sara testified against Morley, and with her testimony on record, she was finally safe from Morley and his men. He wouldn’t add cop killer to his list of crimes after it was too late to do any good.
Next up, a long-overdue visit with her father. She’d missed him while she was upstate. She’d called ahead, and he was expecting her, so she knocked and let herself in with her key.
“I missed you too, Dad.” She stepped back and looked him over. Robust and handsome, with dark hair and a mustache, her father… Well, he was her father.
And she wanted to crawl into his arms and tell him everything that had gone wrong.
“Uncle Jack tells me you’ve been a busy girl. Come sit down and fill me in.”
Sara bit the inside of her cheek and did as he asked. She sat down with her dad, filling him in on the antics of Pirro that had led to the drug bust, the kidnapping and rescue by Rafe, along with a description of Rafe’s big, fun family, including Angel and the blogger story, ending with her fake elopement.
By the time she was finished, her father stared at her in awe. “Well, well.”
“Well what?”
He slapped his thigh with one hand. “Well, you’ve gone and done it.”
“Done what?” she asked, exasperated and lost.
Her father cocked his head to one side, studying her as if seeing her for the first time. “You’ve fallen in love with your ex-partner, that’s what!” Martin smiled, his grin as wide as his face.