Lost in Distraction (Lost 1)

I find myself checking my phone when I’m waiting for her replies. I feel like a teenager. The feelings I have when I’m around her are telling me that I’m already too involved. My job is to get close to her so I can keep her safe, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop this from becoming personal.

When we left the army, Shay and I headed back to Atlanta where my adoptive father lived. He was fighting prostate cancer and I was the only family he had left. He died six months later and I needed a full time job to keep my childhood home. Soon we found ourselves working in the security business.

The past three years I’ve been so focused on working I haven’t had time for dating. Don’t get me wrong, there have been women, but they were only there for physical fulfillment. No one has piqued my interest enough to take it any further than sex.

Until Elise.

Her eyes feel like windows into my soul, instead of her own. I desperately want to get to know her. I already have an overwhelming desire to protect her, way beyond my professional responsibility.

This job is definitely not going the way I thought it would. I expected a quick intel check where we would advise Gibbons that she was safe and blissfully unaware of the unwanted attention, and then extract ourselves at a later date by dropping out and returning to Atlanta, but there is no way in hell I see myself being able to pull out anytime soon, especially after the updated information Gibbons gave me the other day. She’s in their sights now and I have to stop them. I have to make sure she remains untouched.

I open the library door and see her straight away, standing by the front desk with a leather satchel over her shoulder. She’s twirling her hair around her finger, looking nervous, and it makes me smile. I can’t wait to see the effect I can have on her today, to see what it takes to make her blush again. I walk over to her with a smile on my face and tap her shoulder. She turns with a start and a slow grin spreads over her face. “Hey, Braxton. I just got here too.”

Damn, something about the way she says my name just does things to me. “You can call me Brax if you want. It’s shorter and just rolls off your tongue,” I say with a smirk. I see her blush at my flirting. Damn, she’s cute when she blushes.

“Okay, Brax. You can call me Elle if you want. My dad used to…oh, shit.” She suddenly appears uncomfortable and stares at the ground.

Before I can stop myself, I lean in and quietly tell her, “It’s okay. You can talk about them, you know.”

She has alluded to her parents being gone in our text conversations, but she hasn’t told me outright what happened to them. Elise has said that they are no longer around and I haven’t let on that I know about the murders because that would blow my cover. I put my index finger under her chin and lift it upwards, bringing her eyes to mine. I take a moment to stare into her eyes; they amaze me more and more every time I see them. But looking at them now, full of unshed tears, breaks me.

“Seriously, it’s okay. I think I might just take you up on that offer and call you Elle. I like it. It suits you,” I say quietly so only she can hear.

“T-Thank you for n-not asking about it.” She’s stuttering a bit now, trying to get past her revelation that she obviously isn’t ready to share. “Shall we head on up and get started?” she asks, pointing to the stairs leading up to the private study rooms.

“Sounds good,” I reply as I place my hand on the small of her back to direct her up the stairs. I know I shouldn’t be touching her, but I can’t help it. My resolve to only concentrate on the job continues to falter the more time I spend with her and I don’t think I can stop now. I want to follow through with whatever this thing is that’s happening between us.

I just hope she is feeling it, too.

I can’t believe I brought up my dad in front of Brax. I’m horrified!

I haven’t told him about my past. As much as I try to block it out, it seems to be in the forefront of my mind lately.

I swear I stop breathing the moment that Brax puts his hand under my chin and lifts my face upwards; I have to swallow down the lump rising in my throat. He is being so sweet and hasn’t asked any awkward questions that I’m not ready to answer yet.

My heart melts when he says I don’t have to hide myself from him. I wish I could believe him, but I’m so used to shutting myself off from everyone and I don’t think I can change that habit just for him. I don’t want the sad looks from him. It would be far worse than anybody else.

If only I knew why.

After suggesting we head upstairs, I feel Brax place his hand on the small of my back. My whole body trembles when he touches me and I’m so embarrassed, I can feel my cheeks warming up. He must think I’m skittish, or that I didn’t like him touching me—but I definitely did. When he takes his hand away to open the door to the study room, I can still feel him there, like his touch has branded me.

This whole situation is unnerving. I’ve been strong for so long, keeping everyone out, then suddenly I meet a gorgeous guy and I turn into a timid little girl when he’s around. I think it is more than that, though. His touch feels warm, like my whole body is being heated. I’ve never felt that way with anyone before. He opens the door to the study room and ushers me through. I’m sure he is looking at my ass, but I don’t want to look back and check.

This is going to be a long couple of hours.

We spend most of the afternoon discussing the assignment and working on our presentation. She seems to have a genuine interest in Economics. I’m guessing it is her father’s influence.

“Did you see those fraternity pledges running naked through the middle of the quad this morning? That is hazing gone bad,” I say, trying to get Elle talking about anything non-economic.

“Yeah, it’s crazy. Who would put themselves through that?” she replies shaking her head. “I can’t imagine joining a sorority.”

“Aww c’mon, Elle. I’m sure you’d love to be publicly humiliated while you strive to belong,” I say sarcastically.

“Hell no! Never going to happen,” she retorts with a sly smile.

Damn. The look on her face makes me think of bad things, things I shouldn’t be thinking about right now. I’m enjoying just talking to her and little by little she is showing me a different side. It may be small steps, but I know it is a big thing for her.

I look up and watch her as she works every chance I get. She is so beautiful. Her skin is flawless and her features are so fine and feminine. Her mouth is perfectly curved, making me wonder what it would be like to kiss her. What makes her even more alluring is that I don’t think she has any idea of the effect she has on the people around her, in particular the males around campus, and especially me.