Little Black Book

Sebastian was quiet in the car as he drove me back to my condo. I think he was realizing things were changing between us. Not good or bad, just different. We’d been spending so much time together, and that made me happy because I knew as long as he was with me, he wasn’t with another girl.

I was done denying the fact I wanted Sebastian to myself. I tried not to think about what he did when he wasn’t with me, and it was hard, but it was a part of the deal. I couldn’t go changing things now. It was too late for that.

When we got to my building, he walked me inside and followed me into the elevator. Once he inserted his card and pressed the button for the top floor, he turned to me and pulled me to him.

“I’m angry with you,” he stated.

His hands moved down my back and cupped my ass. He bit his lip as he stared at my chest.

“Well, I’m angry with you,” I countered.

He smirked and chuckled. “What the hell did I do ?” he asked. “Besides fuck you senseless for an entire restaurant to hear?”

His smirk turned into another genuine smile. I loved his smile, but I’d never mention it for fear he’d never smile at me again.

“Oh, whatever. It wasn’t that great,” I joked and rolled my eyes.

His head fell back and he laughed. It was a deep hearty laugh that shook his chest.

“Is that so?” He reached up and fingered a strand of my hair. “I guess maybe I should give it another try then. I did promise only the best, didn’t I?”

“Yep, you sure did.” My smile hurt my face it was so big.

And then, just as quickly as it came, his happy expression cleared and he peered down at me in all seriousness.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said with his jaw muscles visibly clenching.

I didn’t know how to reply. I was frightened I might turn him away somehow.

We stared at each other, until he moved quickly, smashing his mouth to mine and kissing me so hard it hurt.

I wasn’t the same girl I was when we first met and so I didn’t pull back. Instead, I kissed him just as hard, tugging at the back of his head and digging my nails into his shoulder to hold him closer.

We were still kissing like a couple of teenagers when the elevator opened to my place. He didn’t let me go; instead he lifted me and slammed me against the wall opposite of the open elevator.

I’d expected that once we got to my floor, he would say goodbye and leave for the night, like usual. What I didn’t expect was for him to stay with me and spend the night, giving me the best he’d promised from the beginning.

I woke in the middle of the night to Sebastian whining in his sleep as if he was in pain. The sheet clung to his wet, naked skin and his expression was full of agony.

He tossed and turned, trying to get away from something and I knew he was having a nightmare.

“Sebastian,” I shook him.

Still he breathed hard and pulled at the sheet.

“Sebastian, wake up. You’re having a nightmare,” I said, shoving at his side and trying my hardest to wake him.

A howl exploded from his lips and he cried loudly with closed eyes. I didn’t know what to do. This was Sebastian—cold, fearless Sebastian, and yet he was squirming around in my bed and practically bawling.

Laying my palm against his sweaty cheek, I tried once more to wake him.

“Sebastian, you have to wake up.”

His eyes flew open and things moved quickly has he pushed me off of him and climbed on top of me.

“Murderer!” his voice cracked.

Thick fingers wrapped around my neck and squeezed.

I beat at his arms as my throat closed up and my ability to breathe was cut off.

“Sebastian,” I croaked.

The sounds of my choking filled the room and my life flashed before my eyes. And then, as quickly as it started, his hold loosened and his angry expression cleared. He’d woken up and realized what he was doing.

Jumping away from me, his back slammed into the wall next to my bed. I sat up, coughing and trying to catch the breath that still didn’t want to fill my lungs. When the black dots cleared my vision, I was able to reach out and turn on the lamp next to my bed. I could see Sebastian pressed tightly against the wall, staring at me—a look of absolute fear traced his dark features.

“I’m so… I can’t believe,” he whispered, his voice rough with sleep. “I don’t know what… I… Are you okay?” he asked.

I wrapped my fingers around my aching throat and nodded my answer. I wasn’t technically okay, but I could see by the devastated look on his face that he needed to know I was.