Lick

The music all blended into one long time-bending beat and so long as I kept moving it was all perfect. Sweat slicked my neck and I popped another button on my dress, widening the neckline. I ignored the other people dancing around me. I shut my eyes, staying safe in my own little world. The alcohol had given me a nice buzz.

For some reason, the hands sliding over my hips didn’t bother me, even though they were uninvited. They went no further, made no demands on me. Their owner danced behind me, keeping a small safe distance between us. It was nice. Maybe the music had hypnotized me. Or maybe I had been lonely, because I didn’t fight it. Instead I relaxed against him. For all of the next song we stayed like that, melded together, moving. The beat slowed down and I raised my arms, linking my hands behind his neck. After a month of avoiding almost all human contact, my body woke. The short, soft hair at the back of his neck brushed over my fingers. Smooth, warm skin beneath.

God, it was so nice. I hadn’t realized how touch-starved I was.

I leaned my head back against him and he whispered something softly. Too soft for me to hear. The soft bristles on his cheek and jaw lightly prickled the side of my face. Hands slid over my ribs, up my arms. Calloused fingers lightly stroked the sensitive underside of my arms. His body was solid behind me, strong, but he kept his touch light, restrained. I wasn’t in the market for a rebound. My heart was too bruised for that, my mind too wary. I couldn’t bring myself to move away from him, however. It felt too good there.

“Evelyn,” he said, his lips teasing my ear.

My breath caught, my eyelids shot open. I turned to find David staring back at me. The long hair was gone. It was still longish on top but cut short at the sides. He could probably do a neat Elvis pompadour if the fancy took him. A short, dark beard covered his lower face.

“Y-you’re here,” I stuttered out. My tongue felt thick and useless inside my dry mouth. Christ, it was really him. Here in Portland. In the flesh.

“Yeah.” His blue eyes burned. He didn’t say anything else. Music kept playing, people kept moving. The world only stopped turning for me.

“Why?”

“Ev?” Amanda put a hand to my arm and I jumped, the spell broken. She gave David a quick glance and then her face screwed up in distaste. “What the fuck is he doing here?”

“It’s okay,” I said.

Her gaze moved between David and me. She didn’t really seem convinced. Fair enough.

“Amanda. Please.” I squeezed her fingers, nodded. After a moment she turned back to Jo who stared at David with open disbelief. And a healthy dose of star-struck. His new look made for a brilliant disguise. Unless you knew who you were looking for, of course.

I pushed through the crowd, getting the hell out of there. I knew he’d follow. Of course he would. It was no accident he was there, though I had no damn idea how he’d found me. I needed to get away from the heat and the noise so I could think straight. Down the back hallway past the men’s and women’s toilets. There, that was what I wanted. A big black door opened onto a back alleyway. Open night air. A few brave stars twinkled high overhead. Otherwise it was dark back here, damp from earlier summer rain. It was horrible and dirty and hateful. An ideal setting.

I might have been feeling a bit dramatic.

The door slammed shut behind David. He faced me, hands on hips. He opened his mouth to start talking and no, not happening. I snapped.

“Why are you here, David?”

“We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.”

He rubbed at his mouth. “Please. There’re things I have to tell you.”

“Too late.”

Looking at him revived the pain. As if I had wounds lingering just beneath the skin, waiting to resurface. I couldn’t help staring at him, however. Parts of me were desperate for the sight of him, the sound of him. My head and heart were a wreck. David didn’t appear so great himself. He looked tired. There were shadows beneath his eyes and he seemed a little pale, even in this crappy lighting. The earrings were missing, all of them gone. Not that I cared.

He rocked back on his heels, eyes watching me desperately. “Jimmy went into rehab and there were other things going on I had to deal with. We had to do therapy together as part of his treatment. That’s why I couldn’t come straight away.”

“I’m sorry to hear about Jimmy.”

He nodded. “Thanks. He’s doing a lot better.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Another nod. “Ev, about Martha—”

“Whoa.” I held up a hand, backing up. “Don’t.”

His mouth turned down at the edges. “We have to talk.”

“Do we?”

“Yes.”

“Because now you’ve decided you’re ready? Fuck you, David. It’s been a month. Twenty-eight days without a word. I’m sorry about your brother, but no.”

“I wanted to make sure I was coming after you for the right reasons.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“Ev—”

“No.” I shook my head, hurt and fury pushing me hard. So I pushed at him even harder, sending him back a step. He hit the wall and I had nowhere else to go with him. But that didn’t stop me.

I went to push at him again and he grabbed my hands. “Calm down.”

“No!”

His hands encircled my wrists. He gritted his teeth, grinding his molars together. I heard it. Impressive that he didn’t crack anything. “No, what? No to talking now? What? What do you mean?”

“I mean no to everything and anything to do with you.” My words echoed through the narrow alleyway, up the sides of the buildings until they emptied out into the uncaring night sky. “We’re finished, remember? You’re fucking done with me. I’m nothing to you. You said so yourself.”

“I was wrong. Goddamn it, Ev. Calm down. Listen to me.”

“Let me go.”

“I’m sorry. But it’s not what you think.”

Out of options, I got in his face. “You don’t get to come here now. You lied to me. You cheated on me.”

“Baby—”

“Don’t you dare call me that,” I yelled.

“I’m sorry.” His gaze roamed my face, searching for sense maybe. He was shit out of luck. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Over and over he said, chanting the most worthless words in all of time and space. I had to stop it. Shut him up before he drove me insane. I smashed my mouth to his, halting the useless litany. He groaned and kissed me back hard, bruising my lips, hurting me. But then I hurt him too. The pain helped. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, taking what was supposed to be mine. In that moment I hated him and I loved him. There didn’t seem to be any difference.

My hands were freed and I wound them around his neck. He turned us, setting my back to the rough brick wall. His touch burned through my skin and bones. It all happened so fast, there wasn’t time to wonder about the wisdom of it. He pushed up my dress and tore at my panties. They didn’t stand a chance. The cool of the night air and the heat of his palms smoothed over my thighs.

“I missed you so fucking much,” he groaned.

“David.”

He lowered his zipper and pushed down the front of his jeans. Then he lifted my leg, bringing it up to his hip. My hands dragged at his neck. I think I was trying to climb him. There wasn’t much thought going into it. Just the drive to get as close to him as physically possible. He nipped at my lips, taking my mouth in another hard kiss. His cock pushed against me, easing into me. The feel of him filling me made my head spin. The slight ache as he stretched me. His other hand slid around beneath my butt then he lifted me up, pushing in all the way, making me moan. I wrapped my legs around him and held on tight. He pounded himself into me with nil finesse. Rough suited both our moods. My fingernails clawed at his neck, my heels drumming his ass. His teeth pressed hard into the side of my neck. The pain was perfect.

“Harder,” I panted.

“Fuck yes.”

The rough brickwork abraded my back, pulling at the fabric of my dress. The hard drive of his cock took my breath away. I clung on tight, trying to savor the feel of him, the tension building inside me. It was all too much and still not enough. The thought that this could be our last time, a brutally angry joining like this … I wanted to cry but I didn’t have the tears. His fingers dug into my ass cheeks, marking my flesh. The pressure inside me grew higher and higher. He changed his angle slightly, hitting my clit, and I came hard, my arms wrapped around his head, my cheek pressed against his. His beard brushed against up my face. My whole body shuddered and shook.

“Evelyn,” he snarled, grinding himself into me, emptying himself inside me.

Every muscle in my body went liquid. It was all I could do to hang onto him.

“It’s fine, baby.” His mouth pressed against my damp face. “It’ll be okay, I promise. I’ll fix it.”

“P-put me down.”

His shoulders rose and fell on a harsh breath and carefully he did so. Quickly I pulled down the skirt of my dress, set myself to rights. Like that was even possible. This situation was out of control. Without fuss he pulled up his jeans, made himself presentable. I looked everywhere but at him. An alleyway. Holy hell.

“Are you alright?” His fingers brushed over my face, tucked back my hair. Until I put a hand to his chest, forcing him back a step. Well, not forcing him. He chose to give me my space.

“I … um.” I licked my lips and tried again. “I need to go home.”

“Come on, I’ll get us a cab.”

“No. I’m sorry. I know I started this. But …” I shook my head.

David hung his.

“That was goodbye.”

“Like fuck it was. Don’t you even try to tell me that.” His finger slid beneath my chin, making me look at him. “We are not finished, you hear me? Not even fucking remotely. New plan. I’m not leaving Portland until we’ve talked this out. I promise you that.”