Letters of Two Brides

MME. DE L'ESTORADE TO MLLE. DE CHAULIEU.

December.

All is over, my dear child, and it is Mme. de l'Estorade who writes to

you. But between us there is no change; it is only a girl the less.

Don't be troubled; I did not give my consent recklessly or without

much thought. My life is henceforth mapped out for me, and the freedom

from all uncertainty as to the road for me to follow suits my mind and

disposition. A great moral power has stepped in, and once for all

swept what we call chance out of my life. We have the property to

develop, our home to beautify and adorn; for me there is also a

household to direct and sweeten and a husband to reconcile to life. In

all probability I shall have a family to look after, children to

educate.

What would you have? Everyday life cannot be cast in heroic mould. No

doubt there seems, at any rate at first sight, no room left in this

scheme of life for that longing after the infinite which expands the

mind and soul. But what is there to prevent me from launching on that

boundless sea our familiar craft? Nor must you suppose that the humble

duties to which I dedicate my life give no scope for passion. To

restore faith in happiness to an unfortunate, who has been the sport

of adverse circumstances, is a noble work, and one which alone may

suffice to relieve the monotony of my existence. I can see no opening

left for suffering, and I see a great deal of good to be done. I need

not hide from you that the love I have for Louis de l'Estorade is not

of the kind which makes the heart throb at the sound of a step, and

thrills us at the lightest tones of a voice, or the caress of a

burning glance; but, on the other hand, there is nothing in him which

offends me.

What am I to do, you will ask, with that instinct for all which is

great and noble, with those mental energies, which have made the link

between us, and which we still possess? I admit that this thought has

troubled me. But are these faculties less ours because we keep them

concealed, using them only in secret for the welfare of the family, as

instruments to produce the happiness of those confided to our care, to

whom we are bound to give ourselves without reserve? The time during

which a woman can look for admiration is short, it will soon be past;

and if my life has not been a great one, it will at least have been

calm, tranquil, free from shocks.