Let Me Love You

“Things are good with us, Mason.” I finally say, willing myself to look over at him. “Although Jaylinn is a little pissed that you didn’t say anything before.”

He winces because he knows it’s true. Keeping his mouth quiet almost caused him to lose the love of his life. He gets it, I know he does.

“That’s good.” Mason turns the radio down a little bit. “So the only one left to tell is Hunter then?”

“Yeah,” I nod in agreement with a sarcastic edge to my tone. “That’s going to go over well.” “Bro, you didn’t know.” Mason defends, trying to help me out. I wish it made me feel better, but it didn’t.

Just the thought of Brittany now makes me feel sick. She’s a vile person, nothing like Hunter and Jaylinn. Thankfully it was just a one night stand and meant absolutely nothing - just a drunken moment of stupidity.

“I know.” I say, ending the conversation.

I turn my head towards the window and watch as the cars pass on the other side of the highway.

I know what Jaylinn wants. She wants to let me love her. The thing is I already do, so much. I just can’t love her in the ways she needs me to. And that is harder than I ever imagined it would be.

3

Hailey waddles her little basketball of a belly into the living room and sits in the brown oversized recliner, “So.”

I look over at her and smile, “So.”

She’s got that pregnancy glow going for her and looks beautiful for being four months pregnant. She bitches and complains but I know deep down inside she loves it. “Are you really ok with Cooper?” She narrows her eyes at me, “Don’t bullshit me either, Jay.”

I look down to my hands and nod. “How can I not be? He didn’t know.”

“Look at me,” Hailey says sharply. I snap my eyes up to hers, “I’m serious Jay. Are you okay?”

I hold her stare for just a minute and then blink a few times trying to hold back the tears, knowing that deep down I’m really not okay with it. “It’s in the past; I have to be okay with him sleeping with my half-sister but not with me.” It came out more bitter than I wanted it to but if I’m being real to myself I’m hurt. I’m beyond hurt.

“Jay,” Hailey whines. “Come over here.”

I get up off the couch and go squeeze on the recliner with Hailey. She puts her small arm around my shoulders and hugs me to her and it’s then that the tears start to fall.

“Shh, it’s alright sweetie.” Hailey croons to me, running her hand through my hair like my mom used to do when I was younger. It’s such a simple gesture but so comforting too.

“I don’t understand, Hailey.” I say between shuddering breaths, feeling hopeless. “He’s holding back with me and I hate it but I don’t know how to get through to him.”

Hailey continues to run her hand through my hair and just lets me cry. It feels good to let it out but I’m still holding on to that one piece that I don’t want to share with anyone. Deep down inside I think that’s what is holding Cooper back.

How can I talk to Hailey about this if I don’t want to relive that night again? No one knows but Cooper, me and that piece of shit, Kevin.

“One day at a time, Jay. He’ll come around.” Hailey gives me a warm smile, trying to convince me that her words are true and I want to believe her, I do. I would give anything for that to be true, but it seems it might never be. “I know that’s not what you want to hear but trust me; I see it in his eyes. He has the same look Mason gets when he sees me. He’s falling for you Jay, and doesn’t know what to do about it. Mason and Cooper are cut from the same leather; they love hard but fight harder against it. They are their own worst enemies.”

I sniffle, wondering how she did it and how she convinced Mason. “How did you finally get through to him Hails?”

Hailey stops running her hand in my hair, “I didn’t. He finally opened his eyes and saw what was right in front of him. Cooper will see it too, you just wait. The Cahills are all hard headed.”

I laugh through the tears, she’s right. Even MacKenzie is hard headed.

I eventually dry my tears and store all this information away for later. Hailey and I watch some movie on Lifetime and we both drift off asleep.

Mason and Cooper come home around dinner time. The rest of the gang is coming over to hang out with us too and we are all going to figure out what we’re doing for New Year’s. I’m sure it will probably be something low key with MacKenzie’s due date next month.

I’m still sitting on the recliner with Hailey’s head resting on my shoulder when Cooper comes in. He kisses the side of my head and I shift slightly towards him, careful not to wake the pregnant princess.

“You okay, Twinkle Toes?” Cooper whispers in my ear.

I nod as I try to inch a little closer to him.

Mason walks into the living room and frowns down at Hailey. “How long has she been asleep like that?”

I look over to the clock, “About three hours.”

Mason swears under his breath. He stalks over to us and lifts her with ease into his arms and lays her down on the couch and covers her with a blanket. Hailey barely even stirs.

“Let’s go talk.” Cooper says as he extends his hand to me.

I stretch out my body and yawn. Sitting like that for as long as I have has my back aching. I grab Cooper’s hand and he leads us to the spare bedroom upstairs where Cooper and I normally stay when we spend the night. Cooper shuts and locks the door behind us.

My eyebrows shoot up.

“Strip.”

My eyes go wide in surprise. It’s not uncommon for Cooper to say this to me but he only does it when I’m having a melt down and he can’t get through to me any other way, or when he wants the bare and exposed me, the one where I can’t hide my emotions or run.

“Strip.” Cooper repeats, his eyes never break from mine and I fight the urge to shiver at the intensity.

There’s something about the way he’s looking at me, or maybe it’s that intensity, but I do as he says. Pulling my socks off first, I slowly reach for the hem of my shirt and pull it up over my head. I glance over at Cooper who is looking at me with fire in his eyes. My body breaks out in goose bumps from the cold air hitting my skin and from the ferocious passion of Coopers stare. I toss my shirt somewhere behind me then unbutton my jeans and slowly, so slowly, start shimmying them down my thighs. I step out of them and gaze over at Cooper, he’s staring at my discarded jeans and then he rakes his eyes up my legs and they stop at the fancy script tattoo on my hip; Inhale the future, exhale the past.