Let Me Love You

“So have you and Cooper slept together?” Mom asks me. It shocks me a bit that she just came out and asked me that, but we have a very open relationship so I answer honestly.

“No we haven’t but it’s not for my lack of trying.” My cheeks flush that I’ve mentioned that last part to my mom but I’m twenty she can’t expect me to be a virgin my whole life.

Mom chuckles, “Don’t rush, sweet girl. When it’s the right time it’ll happen and it’ll be with the right person.”

I sigh, “I know, Mom.” I look over to Ryder who has a block in his mouth. “I told him I loved him today.”

Mom’s eyes go wide in surprise, “And how did that go?”

I take a sip of my coffee, “Surprisingly well.” I laugh. “He didn’t say it back right away and I was afraid I’d put my foot in my mouth but he just wanted to say it back on his own terms.”

Mom pats my leg, “He’s in love with you, Jay. Sometimes men don’t see what’s right in front of their face until it’s too late.” She takes a deep breath. “Just make sure you’re a hundred percent sure that your decision is just that. Yours. You don’t want to live with regret for the rest of your life like your dear mom.”

I give her a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She gives me that pointed stare, “Don’t pity me. Yes, I live with some regrets but you know what?”

I shake my head.

“You and your brother make up for all the regret.” A single tear slips down her cheek.

I turn my head so she doesn’t see my own tears fall. She didn’t deserve the shit that my dad put her through. Every woman deserves to be treasured but he treated her like a piece of shit.

When I’m finally able to dry my tears I slip onto the floor and play with Ryder. He’s such a good baby. I know it’s way past his bedtime but I was trying to keep him awake in case we needed to run out to the hospital.

Ryder yawns and rubs his eyes. I stand up and pick him up off the floor. “I’m going to go get him ready for bed.” I tell my mom.

She stands and gives her grandson a kiss on the cheek. “Night, Ry.”

I take Ryder into his room and get him changed into his jammies then take a seat in the rocker and rock him to sleep. It doesn’t take but a few minutes until he’s sound asleep.

Mason taps on the door. “Hey, we’re going to get out of here. I need to get Hailey to bed.”

I place Ryder in his crib and cover him up before I walk to the door and slip out. “Still no word from Hunter?” I ask Mason as we head back downstairs.

He shakes his head, “No, nothing yet.”

Hailey is standing near the front door with her coat on and Elle’s arms wrapped around her.

“Tired?” I ask Hailey.

Her lips pull up in a small smile, “Yeah. I feel like all I do these days is sleep.”

I shrug and wrap my arms around my best friend when Elle steps back. “You’re pregnant with double trouble in there; of course you’re going to be tired.”

Hailey sniffs, “I was supposed to go with Kenzie when she had the baby.”

I rub her back as she clings to me, “Aw, Hailey.”

I look over towards Mason who’s shaking his head back and forth. Hailey sniffs again before releasing me.

“Sorry.” She wipes at her face.

“Come on boo, let’s get you home.”

Hailey nods and lets Mason guide her to the car. I step out on to the porch and wave as they pull away, waiting until Mason beeps the horn before turning and going back inside.

Elle is in the kitchen talking with Andrew, she turns to look at me when I walk in. “We’re going to head over to the hospital. We’ll keep you updated with what’s going on. Hunter said it was going to be a while though.”

I smile, “Sounds good. Ryder’s asleep so I’m going to try and catch a little sleep too.”

I walk them out and lock up. Cooper comes from the living room and leans against the wall. “Tired?”

“Yeah,”

Cooper nods his head towards the stairs and I lead the way up to the guest room. Cooper takes his hoodie off and tosses it on the floor. Next he takes his t-shirt off and tosses it to me. “You can sleep in that if you want.”

I put it on the bed and remove my shirt and slip his shirt on. I inhale deeply, the crisp clean smell of Cooper relaxing me. I take off my jeans and climb into bed where Cooper is already laying down.

I lie facing him and he reaches over and rubs his thumb over my cheek. We lay there staring into each other’s eyes for a long time before my eyes grow heavy.

I yawn. “Merry Christmas, Coop.” I whisper.

“Merry Christmas, Jay.” He leans over and places a kiss on my forehead. “I love you.”

I don’t say it back and I’m not quite sure why. I think deep down inside I know that something is about to happen between us. I feel it in the pit of my stomach.

We may have moved one foot forward tonight with the trust ring and confessing our love to each other but we also just took two huge steps back it feels. All I can do at this point is hold on for this bumpy ride we’re about to take.

12

I’m a little disoriented when I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I breathe a sigh of relief when I look over and see that Jaylinn is still asleep next me. I look around for my phone and spot it on the floor next to my discarded jeans.

“Hello,” my voice cracks.

“Hey bro, Kenz had the little princess sometime in the middle of the night.” Mason says, sounding exhausted.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and sit up in bed. I take a second and listen to hear if Ryder is awake then take the phone away from my ear to see that it’s just after eight.

I yawn, “They’re both ok?”

Mason yawns too, “Yup, just wanted to let you know. I’m going to try and get some sleep now.” Mason yawns again. “Hailey’s been up half the night. Her feet are swollen and it’s going up her legs now too.”

I run a hand through my hair. “Is she going to be alright?”

Mason grunts, “Yeah I guess. I’m taking her into the doctor’s tomorrow to have her checked out. She keeps trying to act like it’s not a big deal but I don’t give a shit, she’s going.”

“I hear ya. Well when Ryder and Jaylinn get up we’ll head up to the hospital. Maybe we’ll see you up there?”