Legally Wed

“Does Elmo have a penis?”

“Uh, well …” He had stumped me.

“So what book do you want us to read you?” Adam interrupted.

“I found one called “Elmo Flies a Kite.” How about that one?” I asked.

“That’s a good one,” Josh confirmed. Fifteen minutes later, his teeth were brushed, he was dressed in his jammies and we were tucking him into bed. I sat down on the bed next to him and read him his Elmo book while Adam looked on smiling. Josh’s eyes gradually closed and we tiptoed out and shut off the light.

“That wasn’t so hard,” I said quietly.

“Not nearly as hard as Uncle Adam’s penis. Seeing you all maternal turned me on. Let’s go, baby,” he said taking my hand and heading for the guest bedroom.

“I’m glad it wasn’t the poodle encounter that did it.” Before we had even made to the door, a little voice called out.

“It’s dark! I want my nightlight.” Adam and I froze, looked at each other and went back in. I knew it couldn’t be that easy.

“I thought you were asleep, dude,” Adam said, sitting down beside Josh.

“I don’t like it too dark. My nightlight is over there.” He pointed and I went over and plugged in his Elmo nightlight. “Will you read me another book?”

Adam took a turn and after he read the Poky Little Puppy, Josh looked very sleepy but he was not, in fact, actually asleep. This wasn’t going well.

“Josh is something wrong?” I asked. “Are you sad because your Mommy and Daddy are somewhere else tonight?” I sat down on the other side of his bed and took his little hand in mine.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “Can I have some water?” Adam got up and went to go get Josh a drink. While he was gone I reassured Josh that his Mommy and Daddy would be back the next day and that there was nothing to worry about. Adam was back a minute later with the water.

“Here you go, buddy,” he said and Josh sat up and took a sip.

“I have to go potty,” he informed us.

“Okay,” Adam said with a sigh. “Let’s go.”

He led Josh off to the potty as I fidgeted and tried not to think about how much I wanted this kid to go to sleep. Josh was back a minute later and I read him a third book as Adam started to look more and more desperate. Finally, he drifted off. Thank God.

Adam and I tiptoed out again and headed for the guest room. We went in and quietly closed the door, pausing to listen for a moment. Silence. We smiled at each other and started kissing like starving dogs attacking a steak dinner. We hit the bed and he pushed up my shirt and began trailing kisses from my tummy up toward my br**sts while I moaned quietly. Just as he was about to shove my bra out of the way, you guessed it, a little voice spoke from the doorway.

“Does Aunt Lily have a booboo?”

“What?!” Adam rolled off of me and looked at Josh like he wanted to cry.

“She’s making noises. Does she have a booboo? Are you kissing it to make it better?”

Luckily, we packed pajamas. Otherwise, it would have been either much less comfortable, or much more awkward, sleeping with Josh between us that night. We didn’t try to sneak out to another room, as neither one of us wanted to wake the adorable little boy who was anxious about his Mommy and Daddy being gone. Besides, there was always the next day. I laid there in bed that night with my Elmo Band-Aid on my stomach, feeling tired and horny. There was a little foot stuck in my ribs and a dog snoring and farting on the floor beside me. But I had a smile on my face because I knew that Adam and I could do this, and as long as we did it together, it would be wonderful.

Hannah and Nate were back by eleven the next morning, looking very happy and relaxed. They were thrilled with how well Adam and I had done with Josh and Sparky. I just hoped that Josh didn’t mention my booboo and that the poodle didn’t get knocked up.

Our anticipation got more intense as we got closer to our place – there I said it – our place. When we got in the door, Adam helped me off with my coat and I helped him off with his pants. We spent the next few hours in bed.

“That was worth waiting for,” he said, stretching. I was snuggled up with my cheek on his chest. “Have I mentioned that you’re great in bed?” He gently pushed my hair back away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

“You’re great in bed too. Must be all the practice. Was Abby’s roommate your first sexual experience?”

“No. I lost my virginity when I was fifteen to one of the counselors at summer camp.”

“You’re kidding. While I was busy fighting off mosquitoes and learning Kumbaya in Hebrew you were getting laid? You bastard.”

“You didn’t miss much. I think I lasted about a minute. What about you? When did you lose your virginity?”

“Freshman year of college. The Earth didn’t move but at least it didn’t really hurt very much. I guess that’s something.”

“What would you have done if I had tried to kiss you when we were in high school?”

“I probably would have kissed you back.”

“Oh yeah? And what would you have done if I had tried to feel you up?”

“I think I would have let you. Even though you acted like a jerk to me, I still thought you were hot and I was a horny teenager.”

“Really?” he asked with a laugh. “And what would you have done if we were fooling around and I asked you to have sex with me?”

“I probably would have had the best minute of my life up until that point.”

“Oh my God. I could have had you in high school? I’m such an ass**le.”

“It’s okay. I love you anyway and you can have me now whenever you want.”

Chapter Sixteen

The next few weeks were much the same. Work stress was manageable, but between my mom, Adam’s mom, and Mr. Jonathan calling, I started getting more and more tense. That meant, of course, that Adam started getting more and more exhausted. The poor man was sometimes servicing me two or three times a night, and that’s apparently not easy for a twenty-seven year-old guy working a full-time job.

Both Braden and Mark noted that Adam was looking pretty worn out, and I suspected that they knew exactly why, as there seemed to be a lot of quiet joking going on. I will note for the record, however, that he was also looking very happy. He also did get a break the last week. We decided that we wanted the Las Vegas sex to be incredible, so we agreed to abstain from the Friday before we left, until the following Friday, which would be our first night there.