Lazy Dungeon Master
Page 273The Disappointing Elf and a Lie Detector
Several days later, I decided to educate Shikina.
To be specific about what I taught her, there were the things you’d learn in elementary school like arithmetic and complex words, lessons about morals for when my brain’s exhausted, and how to impersonate sensible speech and conduct.
Me teaching her mainly about feeling shy and not using vulgar words was very different subject matter from Japanese morals, but thanks to that, Shikina’s even felt like she’s come to be a proper person recently.
… As an aside, Meat was there for the morals lessons as well.
It’s just that her having to take those classes alone would’ve been too pitiful, it’s not like I’m trying to say that Meat didn’t know how to be embarrassed or anything. She’s usually my body pillow though. Rei and Nerune were present for the arithmetic and language lessons!
Well, it happened on a certain day a while later.
“Kehma. Haven’t you only been thinking about Shikina lately?”
“… Now that you say it like that… huh. I have.”
“So you prefer upfront lewdness like that elf after all?”
“No way.”
No way. At least, I shouldn’t…?
It’s true that I’ve been thinking about Shikina so much recently that it feels like I haven’t been sleeping as much.
No, it’s not just a feeling. My daily sleeping hours has definitely reduced between one and two hours.
“I’m going to die from lack of sleep if I don’t do something.”
“But you sleep eight hours a day as well as take naps? Honestly, isn’t waking up early like you’ve been recently actually healthier?”
“Getting up… earlier? Hold up. I, I, have been waking up early…?”
“Yeah, to look after that elf.”
I was aghast.
For me, someone who would take going back to sleep over having three meals in a day… to wake up early? There’s something wrong happening here.
Is it something Shikina did? No, it has to be her.
Did her blunt eroticism stimulate my desire, upsetting the balance between my three major desires and damage my sleep!?
“… Shikina is causing it?”
“Shouldn’t you ask her if you want to know?”
I have to ask her straight up about it…
“I’m coming!”
“… Yeah.”
And it somehow turned into us having a duel.
If it was before, she would have been like [I will answer any of Master’s questions! You want to know my three sizes? Measure them for me please, for I don’t know them!] or something, but now she negotiated it into [I will answer you if you can defeat me in a duel!].
They grow up so quick. It’s still annoying, though.
So because of that, Shikina and I are alone in the inn’s backyard.
Meat and Setsuna wanted to spectate, but I refused them. The reason I gave was that I didn’t want to expose my skills, but that’s just part of the truth.
My movements are only done through the clothes golem, after all. It’d just be annoying if my movements always being the exact same were exposed. Setting aside Meat, I definitely don’t want Setsuna to see.
By the way, Shikina’s wearing clothes that are easy to move in, a gym uniform and bloomers she got from Setsuna.
… A blonde elf in bloomers… how should I put it? It’s like we reached a level of cosplay that’s never been done before.
“Ah, one second.”
“What is it?”
“If you win the duel, I’ll cancel tomorrow’s lessons. Think of it as a holiday.”
“What!? A holiday!?”
“But if I win, I’ll give you a bean paste roll as a freebie.”
“A bean paste roll!! … W-why isn’t that if I win!?”
So that it’ll be easier for me to win, duh.
By the way, among all of the set meals and sweet rolls, the bean paste roll is Shikina’s favorite.
“And I’ll have you answer the question I asked.”
“Umumu, then if I win, I’ll be Master Kehma’s body pillow!”
“Refused. If you win, you only get the day off.”
“How bold… as expected of Master! Ah, but there’s no one here, are you intending to say this never happened?”
“Don’t worry, I keep my promises.”
Shikina held up her wooden sword. Seeing that, I held mine up… and left the rest to the clothes golem and its support.
My sword? It was just for show. I tossed it after the first hit. Misha’s mimicked style is stronger.
“Stupid, did you think that I would use a sword since I was holding one!? Naive!”
“I-I lost…”
However, it’s only mimicking the way Misha moved, so even the feints are fixed. If I ever have a second duel with Setsuna, I’m sure that I’ll be defeated quickly enough. I should still be able to fight a few more times if they’re all instakills like this one though.
… I can basically only wreck someone that thoroughly on the first time they see the move.
“I’ll give you the bean paste roll along with the holiday tomorrow. Isn’t that great~?”
“Uuu, you doing that for me even though I lost makes me so happy…!”
When I patted Shikina’s head, she smiled in delight.
… She really has quit with most of her horrid behavior recently.
“So Master, what is it that you wanted to ask? My three sizes? Then from the top, eighty—-”
“As soon as I let my guard down! No. And you actually know your own sizes?”
“Of course I do. It’s required for me to order armor.”
Come to think of it, this girl goes through armor like its nothing because of her sword, huh.
“What I want to as is, Shikina, what are you scheming?”
“Scheming…? I am aiming for the role of Master’s body pillow and not really anything else!”
“That so? Take a look at this then.”
As I said that, I took out a certain something.
It was a crystal ball small enough to fit in my hand with a bit of extra space. It was transparent right then, but it would glow red under certain conditions.
“This is… a magic tool that sees through lies.”
“Oh, you know of it?”
“I am a knight.”
Yes, it’s a lie-detection magic tool I bought from the catalog for 50,000 DP.
By the way, each time it glows red from coming across a lie, it takes a magic stone that costs 50 DP.
Best of all, we don’t have any problems with our current income. At least not for using it to question Shikina.
“What!? How cruel!”
“That’s a normal punishment for lying… actually, it’s going easy on you.”
“Mumumu… so, Master, now that you’ve taken out such an exquisite magic tool, what do you intend to ask!? Even if you ask me who took my first time, I am not yet able to answer!”
“As soon as I let my guard down, you go back to being… Whatever.”
I pushed a magic stone into the magic tool. Seeing the magic stone be swallowed up like that despite it being solid when I touch it is so weird.
“… Well, let’s confirm a few things first. Shikina, are you a man or a woman?”
“I am a woman.”
The crystal ball didn’t shine. Yep, I know that. By the way, the annoying part is that it’s impossible to tell what the person themselves recognizes as fact.
For example, if Shikina’s body was that of a man but her mind was a woman’s, it wouldn’t have lit up.
“Do you hold any ill will towards me?”
“None that I can think of… Please don’t ask me something so cruel.”
It didn’t light up there either? Her not having any is a good thing.
However, it caused Shikina to look dejected.
“… Sorry, but this is necessary.”
“The crystal ball didn’t light up, so it must be true. I understand and I will answer honestly, so please continue to ask me questions!”
By the way, it would glow if I said a lie right now, too. Its range of effect is five meters. It’s possible to distinguish between who tells the lie by which part of it lights up.
“Did someone order you to come here?”
“Yes. My father also said that I should learn how to be dishonest from Master Kehma.”
It still didn’t cause the ball to light up, but yeah, what was that? Father also?
“Did anyone else order you to?”
“The First Chivalric Order’s Commander Sally-sama said that I should come learn from Master Keima too! She said that I can come back to the order once I learn from you!”
… Ah. That’s suspicious.