Kushiel's Avatar (Phedre's Trilogy #3)

There was power in his words, terrible power. And I, who sat next to the smiling source of it, shivered until the bangles on my wrist tinkled sweetly and I had to grip my hands together in my lap to halt it.

"Come." Gashtaham beckoned. "Let those who have made the vahmyâcam and served their apprenticeship come forth to receive their reward."

Nine men came forward, some clad in armor, some in common garb, each with a girdle of finger-bones about his waist. One by one, they knelt before the dais and unknotted their girdles, laying them be fore them. I saw Arshaka, the old Head Magus, weening with horror at the side of the dais. As each man approached, the ka-Magi tended him. Two sheared his hair, letting it fall in careless handfuls. One eased a black robe over his shoulders, and another tied the finger-bone girdle about it. A fifth placed a hollowed boar's-skull helm over his shorn head, and one last bowed, handing the new Aka-Magus an ebony rod, topped with a gleaming ball of jet. When it was done, each new member took his place among their ranks.

It took some time. I scanned the hall, trying to gauge events. The men were rapt, watching the ceremony, and drinking had slowed. Was the drug taking effect? It was too early to say. "Ishta," the Mahrkagir said warmly, stroking my neck. "It will be soon!"

The dedication was finished. Daeva Gashtaham raised his arms once more, now flanked by twenty-one Ãka-Magi. "Angra Mainyu," he said. "Destructive Spirit, Lord of Darkness, Demon of Ten Thousand Years! We have quenched the fires of your ancient enemy and plunged the land in terror. With your will to guide us, we will bring more, so much more, to your altar." He raised his voice. "Let those who would make the vahmyâcam come forward with their offerings, save he who is last and greatest among us, beloved of Angra Mainyu!"

The Mahrkagir leaned back, watching; it seemed we were to go last. Seventeen men came forward at Gashtaham's announcement, each bringing a companion. They were the ones I had seen, the new faces— the parents, the siblings, the wives and children. I hadn't seen the chil dren before. A few of the chosen went willingly, proudly. Some went in terror. Each couple mounted the dais to stand before the ka-Magi. Gashtaham laid his hands upon their shoulders, gazing into their eyes, reading their hearts and the will of Angra Mainyu.

Three were dismissed, the sacrifice found unworthy. It must be love, I thought; truly love. The others were accepted, and to each was given a cord, wrenched from about the waist of one of the true Magi, Arshaka's followers, the priests of Ahura Mazda. Each pair was dismissed, and an ka-Magus assigned to follow. Where they went, I cannot say. To darkness and death, alone.

So, I thought dully, that is how it is done. I am to be strangled, if I fail. Well, there are crueler deaths.

And then there were no more couples, and Gashtaham raised his arms once more, his face flushed and triumphant beneath his skull-helm. "Angra Mainyu," he crooned, "Father of Lies, I summon your best- beloved, your death-begotten son-on-earth to stand before you and make the vahmyâcam. I summon the Shahryar Mahrkagir!"

The men cheered, shouting and banging their mugs; from the corner of my eye, I saw Jolanta startle and nudge the nearest woman with her elbow, circulating once more with the laced jugs of drink. The other women responded with alacrity, and the warriors drank, Drujani and Tatar alike, cheering their lord. Jagun the Kereyit was shouting, Imriel's presence at his side forgotten. The Mahrkagir got to his feet, bowing in acknowledgment, savoring the moment, his smile dazzling in its joy.

"Come, îshta," he said to me, extending his hand. "It is time."

I took his hand and rose, and together we walked the aisle to the dais, where Daeva Gashtaham and the others awaited. I would have faltered, I think, if not for his hand on my elbow, a firm cold grip, guiding me as he smiled lovingly down at me.

"So beautiful," he whispered beneath the noise. "You look so beautiful, my Queen!"

Together, we mounted the dais.

Gashtaham laid one hand atop our shoulders, the black rod in his left angling behind the Mahrkagir's neck. I felt a faint surge at his touch and my flesh recoiled; the presence of Angra Mainyu intensified. I felt terribly naked and exposed under the priest's searching gaze, shivering so fiercely I could feel the ruby ear-drops tremble against my skin, terrified that the Ch'in combs would give way, sending my tresses tum bling, the ivory hairpins clattering to the floor of the dais, that any instant Gashtaham would see through my pathetic attempts at deception to the even more pathetic plot they sought to mask.

He didn't. His interest lay in the Mahrkagir, his pride and joy, the gateway of the god.

"My lord," he said, his voice as intimate as a lover's, "is it your will to make of this woman the vahmyâcam?"

"It is," the Mahrkagir replied, squeezing my hand.

"And do you love her?"

He smiled down at my upturned face, a world of adoration in his shining black eyes, all the glory of Blessed Elua. "I do."

"Angra Mainyu," said the priest, profoundly satisfied, "is pleased." He turned to one of his comrades. "Daeva Dâdarshi, bring me the sacred girdle of Arshaka."

The old man struggled, pitiful to behold, as the ka-Magi cut the filthy cord from about his waist. I had not known, before tonight, that it was a part of their sacred regalia. Gashtaham held the cord in his hands, contemplating it. "I used my own girdle, that you tied about my waist with your own hands, old fool, to string my father's finger-bones," he said to the defeated Magus. "Yours, and your life, I have held in reserve, hoping and praying that this day might come. Now it is here." Raising the cord to his lips, he kissed it, then laid it reverently across the Mahrkagir's outstretched hands. "Take it, my lord, and her life with it. I will go with you myself, and stand watch outside your door. And when it is done ... ah, my lord, you have served your life in appren ticeship to this moment. Angra Mainyu will wait no longer. When it is done and you have laid open her breast and consumed her still-warm heart, you will truly be the avatar of darkness." Gashtaham released the cord and bowed, his face suffused with deep emotion. "And Drujan shall conquer the earth!"

A roar of approval answered his final words; those, they had heard. The Mahrkagir accepted the cord. "You see, îshta!" he said, exalted, letting me in on the glorious secret, taking my face in his hands, the foul-smelling cord against my cheeks, and kissing me. "It is a gift, the greatest gift of all! And you have given it to me."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Joscelin take a step closer to Imriel, hands hovering over the hilts of his daggers. At the side of the dais, the old Magus Arshaka fell to his knees and wept, his beard trailing on the flagstones.

It was the last thing I saw as we left the hall.

FIFTY-FIVE

TRUE TO his word, Daeva Gashtaham accompanied us to the Mahrkagir's quarters, along with the hulking Tahmuras. After the noise of the hall, it seemed strange, this silence, the familiar stone walls. All that, I thought, only to end here, where it began; no trappings, no ceremony. Only this, he and I, alone together again as we had been so many times before."One lamp," the priest cautioned, outside the double doors. "Enough to find her heart, and no more."

Tahmuras went ahead to make certain that it was so. The Mahrkagir only laughed. "When have I ever needed light, Gashtaham?" he asked, teasing, holding me close to him. "One lamp is enough and more to find my beloved's heart." The priest bowed; the huge guard exited the quarters with a curt nod that all was in order. The Mahrkagir ushered me inside. "I will summon you," he said to the priest, "to see that all was done well."

And with that, he closed the doors.

I reached one hand to my hair while his back was turned, sliding the rightmost ivory hairpin free from my upswept locks and turning it so that the long, daggerlike point lay along the inside of my forearm. My teeth were chattering. I held the hairpin in a death-grip, seeking to keep it from rattling against my bangles.

There was a lamp, the single lamp, burning in an alcove. It was enough, for him, whom the light pained like fire; it must have been as bright as day. To me, it was dark. As it was supposed to be—in dark ness and alone.

"Do you see?" The Mahrkagir gestured, sweeping one hand. "It had to be here, where we have known such joy. Such deeds, îshta!" His eyes were bright. "Such ill deeds. I will always think of you, and re member your gift." He came near, looping the cord about my neck, crossing it, drawing it tight across my throat, his lower body firm against mine. "Are you ready?" he asked tenderly. "If you are, we will begin, and I will grant you death when you ask for it. It will be my gift to you, beloved."

"My lord, no." I laid my left hand flat upon his breast. "I beg you not to do this thing. Love is its own reward."

"Yes." He smiled at me, his mad, beautiful eyes shining in the darkness. The cord tightened about my throat. "I know, îshta. I know."

Beneath the splayed fingers of my hand, I could feel his heart beat ing, a firm, steady pulse. I knew it well. I had felt it against my skin too many times to count, racing with the exertions of cruel desire. I brought my right hand up between us, placing the point of Kaneka's hairpin between my left forefinger and thumb, directly over his heart, positioning it by touch, feather-light. Strong and beating, his life lay beneath my poised hand. If he had looked down, he would have seen it. He didn't. "Gashtaham wishes it," I whispered. "You can say no."

"No." He shook his head gently, tightening the cord, never looking past my face. Why would he? Whatever else was true, he trusted me. "Angra Mainyu wishes it, îshta, and so do you, in your heart of hearts." The cord was cutting off my air, and the darkness beginning to sparkle. The world was fading around me. Only his adoring smile hovered, vivid in my vision. "Your gods sent you as tribute."

The words were uttered in a tone of deepest love.

And beneath my hand lay his steady-beating heart.