Knights' Sinner

Blood runs down my mouth, and I feel my own tongue slide out and lick it from my lip. He hit me, and most of the time I’d have him on his ass, but right now, I don’t care. I want to care. Something inside me is tugging to explode, but my mind is blocking me. I don’t want to feel. Feeling ends up in pain, and I’m tired of hurting. The two women in my life that I’ve loved have hurt me. I can’t go back. Can’t do it again.

I’m numb, and each day it just gets worse.

“We need to send her to Hogan’s compound this afternoon...if she doesn’t eat...”

“Send her anyway,” I say, my voice empty.

“Jackson.”

I spin, glaring at him, feeling my fists shake. “Fucking send her, Cade, you’ve been given direct orders.”

He drops his head. “Fuck, fine, whatever you want. If something happens to her, though, it’s on you.”

~*~*~*

SERENITY

They sent me into Hogan’s lot to find out information. They wired me up, and sent me in. I’m starving, my body is weak, but here I am, likely about to get beaten half to death by my father. Better yet, I want him to beat me. I want him to take this pain away. I’m tired of feeling this. I don’t have an escape. I’m trapped, even after all this, I’ve lost my lifeline.

For the first time in my life...I want him to kill me.

“Where have you been?” Hogan barks as soon as I step through the front doors. I look at him, but my face is empty.

“Finding out information,” I say, my voice empty. He doesn’t even notice.

“They’re on lockdown, we’ve been watching them. How did you get out?”

“I climbed out a window.”

“Are they all there?”

“No, you need to give them a few more days for the last of the club to arrive.”

Hogan glares at me. “You lyin’ to me?”

“No, go see for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

I am telling Hogan everything Cade and Spike told me to. I am just following a damned script, basically. Hogan walks forward, gripping my shoulder and shaking me. For the first time in my life, I don’t wince.

“You tell me when they’re all in. We’re going to do a sneak attack, just blow the fuck outta them.”

I shrug.

“What the fuck is your problem?”

“You,” I say.

I know what I’m doing. I’m baiting him. I know Cade and Spike are listening to me, but I don’t care. I know right now they’ll be screaming for me to shut up. But I’m tired. I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore.

“What did you fuckin’ say?”

“You heard me,” I say, staring into his eyes. “My problem is you.”

He raises his fist back, and hits me so hard I am sent flying into a nearby wall. I hit it so hard my head slams back, causing it to spin even worse than it already is. Hogan storms over, lifting me by my shirt and hurling me across the room. I land against the bar, not screaming. I just want it to be over.

“You’re fuckin’ dead!”

I close my eyes.

Hoping he’s right.

~*~*~*

JACKSON

“He’s fuckin’ beating her!” Spike roars, tearing out into the main warehouse.

I stare up at him, knowing he’s talking about Serenity.

“Jackson, he’s fuckin’ beating her. We need to get her out.”

I turn and stare out the window. Spike storms over, gripping me hard and dragging me into the office. I don’t fight him. I have no need to fight him. I don’t give a flying fuck what he’s got to say.

Then I hear it. I hear her screams.

“Kill me!” she bellows. “I beg you!”

She wants to die. She’s begging him to kill her.

She. Wants. To. Die.

“Jackson,” I hear Spike yell, but it sounds like a far off hum. I can’t move, my legs won’t work.  “Jackson, he’s gonna fuckin’ kill her.”

Can’t move. I can’t breathe. He can’t kill her. No. He can’t fucking kill her.

“You piece of worthless shit. Nothin’ but a waste of fucking air. I’ll fuckin’ kill you, and I’ll fuckin’ enjoy it.”

He’s going to kill her.

“JACKSON! PULL HER OUT!” Spike bellows.

“Get the guys into action,” Cade yells. “Now Jackson!”

I can’t move. Can’t. My body is panicking, my heart is thumping, my fists are clenched, but I can’t open my mouth. I can’t open it.

“Fuck it,” Cade barks, lifting a receiver. “Granger, make a ruckus, anything to get his attention. He’s beatin’ her. We need to get her out. Now.”

“On it,” I hear Granger say, and then Cade slams the receiver down.

He storms over to me, gripping my jacket and shaking me hard. “If she fuckin’ dies, it’s your fuckin’ fault you cunt.”

Oh shit.

If she fuckin’ dies...

Fuck, what have I done?

~*~

SERENITY

I hear gunshots, and I lift myself from my spot on the floor. Hogan rushed out, leaving me. I lay on the floor, unmoving, listening to the gunshots out front. I close my eyes, just praying for darkness to consume me. I don’t know what’s happening, and I don’t care. Some big ruckus started outside mid-way through Hogan’s beating. He dropped me, stormed out, and left me lying on the floor, not moving, hoping to fall into oblivion.