Kiss the Dead (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter #21)

WEISKOPF GAVE US all the names of the other rogue vampires. He and his master, Benjamin, offered them up in the first-ever successful deal between a vampire and human law. They gave us the names and they were allowed to go free since they had truly not hurt anyone. Benjamin and Weiskopf were very disillusioned about their unblood-oathed vampires. Jean-Claude and I made them promise that they wouldn't try it again. We've pretty much told them that they may be safe from the human police, but if they try for another rebellion they will not be safe from us.

Nicky and Dev had their onstage debut at Guilty Pleasures and were a huge hit. Dev liked performing and may do it again, but Nicky, not so much. Though, watching them both on stage, Nicky seemed just as into it as Dev. Sociopaths are great actors. He refused to leave Nathaniel, not for me, but for him. He said it: He has a family for the first time in his life.

Sin had been at the club because Nathaniel was teaching him how to strip, not for the stage, but for me. He wanted to do a private dance for me, and Nathaniel was showing him how. Sin's reasoning was, "Most of the men you like best are sexy onstage."

"Micah isn't," I'd said.

"But everyone else is," and to that I had no comeback.

Asher left for his month to explore the new city. It would be a good fit for him, and the werehyenas are the major animal group, but... he would be hundreds of miles away. He doesn't want to leave, but Dev still wants more girl time, and honestly he'd do other men if he didn't think Asher would go completely apeshit. But Dev's deal breaker is that he needs female lovers, and if Asher can't deal with that, then they have to break up. Asher is trying to put Dev in my bed more; I am a girl, but I have other sweeties, other responsibilities to the other men in my life. Asher is jealous of Jean-Claude, too, and that is totally not cool. We're thinking about a two-month-long trip for Asher to try the new city out for size.

Nathaniel has finally had enough of Asher, and though he was Nathaniel's ideal male dominant, and maybe mine, too, we've both had enough. Nathaniel can't forgive Asher for hurting Sin, and perversely, as Nathaniel has pulled away from Asher, the vampire is chasing him harder. Asher really is one of those people who don't value someone who makes life easy; he only chases the drama llamas, or the people who are more committed to other people. I've told Asher to get therapy. He doesn't want to do it, and you can't do therapy at gunpoint. But I've also told him that if his jealousy and temper get anyone else hurt, I will make sure he hurts, too. I can't threaten to kill him, because he knows that I would do almost anything to avoid that, but there are things he could do where I'd feel I had no choice. I don't want that on my conscience. He should go. But do we have the strength of will to send him away, at least for a month? After that, we'll see.

Does Jean-Claude have the strength to send someone that he has loved for centuries away? I don't know. Do I have the strength to make him do it? Maybe.

Right now we've put a bandage on it. Dev is staying with me more, but he's not Nicky, or Sin, or Micah, or Nathaniel, and I just don't think I have room in the house or in my heart for another main squeeze. I like sleeping with Dev, but I'm not in love with him. The house is mine, filled with the people I want there, and Dev just isn't one of them, not night after night. I'm told I need one of the gold tigers to be a main sweetheart just for metaphysical reasons, and maybe I do, but maybe my heart is a molecule that has only so many attachment points, and is stable with only so many atoms of oxygen; you go over that limit and it's unstable, unhappy, too active, and finally explodes. Asher isn't the only one with a temper. I think he's forgotten that. If he's not careful, I'll be reminding him - soon. I hope it doesn't come to that, but I'm beginning to try and wrap my head around the thought that no one gets to hurt the people I love, not even another man that I love.