Jude the Obsure

"Every man has some little power in some one direction," he would

say. "I was never really stout enough for the stone trade,

particularly the fixing. Moving the blocks always used to strain

me, and standing the trying draughts in buildings before the windows

are in always gave me colds, and I think that began the mischief

inside. But I felt I could do one thing if I had the opportunity.

I could accumulate ideas, and impart them to others. I wonder if the

founders had such as I in their minds--a fellow good for nothing else

but that particular thing? ... I hear that soon there is going to

be a better chance for such helpless students as I was. There are

schemes afoot for making the university less exclusive, and extending

its influence. I don't know much about it. And it is too late, too

late for me! Ah--and for how many worthier ones before me!"

"How you keep a-mumbling!" said Arabella. "I should have thought

you'd have got over all that craze about books by this time. And so

you would, if you'd had any sense to begin with. You are as bad now

as when we were first married."

On one occasion while soliloquizing thus he called her "Sue"

unconsciously.

"I wish you'd mind who you are talking to!" said Arabella

indignantly. "Calling a respectable married woman by the name of

that--" She remembered herself and he did not catch the word.

But in the course of time, when she saw how things were going, and

how very little she had to fear from Sue's rivalry, she had a fit of

generosity. "I suppose you want to see your--Sue?" she said. "Well,

I don't mind her coming. You can have her here if you like."

"I don't wish to see her again."

"Oh--that's a change!"

"And don't tell her anything about me--that I'm ill, or anything.

She has chosen her course. Let her go!"

One day he received a surprise. Mrs. Edlin came to see him, quite

on her own account. Jude's wife, whose feelings as to where his

affections were centred had reached absolute indifference by

this time, went out, leaving the old woman alone with Jude. He

impulsively asked how Sue was, and then said bluntly, remembering

what Sue had told him: "I suppose they are still only husband and

wife in name?"

Mrs. Edlin hesitated. "Well, no--it's different now. She's begun it

quite lately--all of her own free will."