Jude the Obsure

"Everything, darling Susanna," said Phillotson.

She started at the endearment, though it had been spoken advisedly

without fervour. Then she nerved herself again.

"My children--are dead--and it is right that they should be! I am

glad--almost. They were sin-begotten. They were sacrificed to teach

me how to live! Their death was the first stage of my purification.

That's why they have not died in vain! ... You will take me back?"

He was so stirred by her pitiful words and tone that he did more than

he had meant to do. He bent and kissed her cheek.

Sue imperceptibly shrank away, her flesh quivering under the touch of

his lips.

Phillotson's heart sank, for desire was renascent in him. "You still

have an aversion to me!"

"Oh no, dear--I have been driving through the damp, and I was

chilly!" she said, with a hurried smile of apprehension. "When are

we going to have the marriage? Soon?"

"To-morrow morning, early, I thought--if you really wish. I am

sending round to the vicar to let him know you are come. I have told

him all, and he highly approves--he says it will bring our lives to

a triumphant and satisfactory issue. But--are you sure of yourself?

It is not too late to refuse now if--you think you can't bring

yourself to it, you know?"

"Yes, yes, I can! I want it done quick. Tell him, tell him at once!

My strength is tried by the undertaking--I can't wait long!"

"Have something to eat and drink then, and go over to your room

at Mrs. Edlin's. I'll tell the vicar half-past eight to-morrow,

before anybody is about--if that's not too soon for you? My friend

Gillingham is here to help us in the ceremony. He's been good enough

to come all the way from Shaston at great inconvenience to himself."

Unlike a woman in ordinary, whose eye is so keen for material things,

Sue seemed to see nothing of the room they were in, or any detail of

her environment. But on moving across the parlour to put down her

muff she uttered a little "Oh!" and grew paler than before. Her look

was that of the condemned criminal who catches sight of his coffin.

"What?" said Phillotson.

The flap of the bureau chanced to be open, and in placing her muff

upon it her eye had caught a document which lay there. "Oh--only

a--funny surprise!" she said, trying to laugh away her cry as she

came back to the table.