Jude the Obsure

"She's been here since you called last," said Phillotson.

"Not Mrs. Phillotson?"

"Yes."

"Ah! You have made it up?"

"No... She just came, patted my pillow with her little white hand,

played the thoughtful nurse for half an hour, and went away."

"Well--I'm hanged! A little hussy!"

"What do you say?"

"Oh--nothing!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what a tantalizing, capricious little woman! If she were

not your wife--"

"She is not; she's another man's except in name and law. And I have

been thinking--it was suggested to me by a conversation I had with

her--that, in kindness to her, I ought to dissolve the legal tie

altogether; which, singularly enough, I think I can do, now she has

been back, and refused my request to stay after I said I had forgiven

her. I believe that fact would afford me opportunity of doing it,

though I did not see it at the moment. What's the use of keeping

her chained on to me if she doesn't belong to me? I know--I feel

absolutely certain--that she would welcome my taking such a step as

the greatest charity to her. For though as a fellow-creature she

sympathizes with, and pities me, and even weeps for me, as a husband

she cannot endure me--she loathes me--there's no use in mincing

words--she loathes me, and my only manly, and dignified, and merciful

course is to complete what I have begun... And for worldly reasons,

too, it will be better for her to be independent. I have hopelessly

ruined my prospects because of my decision as to what was best for

us, though she does not know it; I see only dire poverty ahead from

my feet to the grave; for I can be accepted as teacher no more. I

shall probably have enough to do to make both ends meet during the

remainder of my life, now my occupation's gone; and I shall be

better able to bear it alone. I may as well tell you that what has

suggested my letting her go is some news she brought me--the news

that Fawley is doing the same."

"Oh--he had a spouse, too? A queer couple, these lovers!"

"Well--I don't want your opinion on that. What I was going to say is

that my liberating her can do her no possible harm, and will open up

a chance of happiness for her which she has never dreamt of hitherto.

For then they'll be able to marry, as they ought to have done at

first."