Jude the Obsure

In the pause which followed, Jude's eyes fixed themselves with

a stultified expression on the opposite seat. "Well!" he

said... "Well!"

He remained in silence; and seeing how discomfited he was she put her

face against his cheek, murmuring, "Don't be vexed, dear!"

"Oh--there's no harm done," he said. "But--I understood it like

that... Is this a sudden change of mind?"

"You have no right to ask me such a question; and I shan't answer!"

she said, smiling.

"My dear one, your happiness is more to me than anything--although we

seem to verge on quarrelling so often!--and your will is law to me.

I am something more than a mere--selfish fellow, I hope. Have it as

you wish!" On reflection his brow showed perplexity. "But perhaps

it is that you don't love me--not that you have become conventional!

Much as, under your teaching, I hate convention, I hope it IS that,

not the other terrible alternative!"

Even at this obvious moment for candour Sue could not be quite candid

as to the state of that mystery, her heart. "Put it down to my

timidity," she said with hurried evasiveness; "to a woman's natural

timidity when the crisis comes. I may feel as well as you that I

have a perfect right to live with you as you thought--from this

moment. I may hold the opinion that, in a proper state of society,

the father of a woman's child will be as much a private matter of

hers as the cut of her underlinen, on whom nobody will have any

right to question her. But partly, perhaps, because it is by his

generosity that I am now free, I would rather not be other than a

little rigid. If there had been a rope-ladder, and he had run after

us with pistols, it would have seemed different, and I may have acted

otherwise. But don't press me and criticize me, Jude! Assume that

I haven't the courage of my opinions. I know I am a poor miserable

creature. My nature is not so passionate as yours!"

He repeated simply! "I thought--what I naturally thought. But if we

are not lovers, we are not. Phillotson thought so, I am sure. See,

here is what he has written to me." He opened the letter she had

brought, and read: "I make only one condition--that you are tender and kind to her. I

know you love her. But even love may be cruel at times. You are

made for each other: it is obvious, palpable, to any unbiased older

person. You were all along 'the shadowy third' in my short life with

her. I repeat, take care of Sue."