Je Suis à Toi

Pressing a kiss against his chest, I whispered, “You’re getting sentimental on me?”

“You know I’m the sappiest son of a bitch alive when it comes to you.”

I laughed softly because it was true. To the outside world, Q was dangerous, malignant, and someone not to piss off. In our inner sanctum, Q was my protector, prince, and lover all in one.

“I had to leave…but only because I have a surprise.”

Letting me go, he scowled. “Surprise?” Dragging a hand through his dark hair, he paced toward his dresser. “You know I hate surprises. Ne me donne pas une raison de te le rappeler . J'ai des projets pour nous ce soir et l'abstinence ne fera que les rendre beaucoup plus agréables.” Don't give me a reason to remind you of that. I have plans for us this evening and abstinence will only make it that much sweeter.

“Plans? What plans?”

Will they coincide with my own?

Shrugging into a black shirt, he faced me while fastening the buttons.

I mourned the disappearing sight of his tattooed chest.

“Seeing as you won’t share your surprise with me, I will do the same to you.” His eyes gleamed as a tight smirk twisted his lips. “How does it feel to be denied something you want?”

“About the same as when you deny me an orgasm until I beg.”

He huffed, turning his back to grab a pair of slacks. “And look at how such lessons have backfired.”

Laughing, I wrapped my arms around his middle and inhaled the citrus and sandalwood of his freshly laundered clothes. “You’ll find out soon enough.” I kissed between his shoulder blades, wishing I could eradicate the tension I found there.

For months, he’d been hiding something from me.

This weekend wasn’t just to celebrate his birthday, but to break whatever cage he’d built and figure out what he refused to say. He’d often said I couldn’t handle the darkness inside him. I knew he still refused to fully let himself go.

It used to bother me—knowing he’d never be completely free with me. But not anymore. Because I saw it for what it was. Holding back his demons was the way Q protected me. He gave me just enough to satisfy both of us. But not enough to destroy what we held so precious.

But this…it was something else.

A secret he harboured night and day and one he refused to share even when he had me at my rawest, barest form quivering beneath his touch and open to any suggestion he might utter.

Turning in my embrace, Q kissed the top of my head. “What will I find soon enough?”

“Stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Not telling…but I will give one hint.”

His face darkened. “I don’t appreciate secrets, Tess.”

“This isn’t a secret. Besides, you’re about to find out.” Dancing from his arms, I headed toward the bathroom. “Oh, and you might want to pack something. Whatever you need for three days.”

His jaw tightened, but before he could growl and demand answers, I slammed the bathroom door in his face.

WHAT THE FUCK was she up to?

She knew I hated secrets.

She knew surprises fucked me off and made me rage. Surprises in my world were never good. And she’d given me enough to last a lifetime. First, by forcing me to accept my darkness, and then, by being stolen from my protection.

I’d done things.

I’d killed people.

I’d hurt both her and myself.

All because of secrets and surprises.

My hands balled as I banged on the bathroom door. “Ouvre la porte, Tess. Maintenant!” Open the door. Now!

My breathing came hard and harsh as the shower splashed, echoing off tiled surfaces behind locked obstructions.

I attacked the door again. “Answer me, esclave. Tell me what you’re planning. Otherwise—”

“Eh, sir?”

“What?” I roared, spinning to face the unwanted guest. Visitors were not permitted in this part of the house. Not even to clean. The apparatus and toys Tess and I used were for our eyes only.

People knew what I needed. Our staff and friends understood how fucked up I was. Yet knowing and seeing were entirely different things.

I shuddered as the beast inside me scratched and clawed. Tess had forced me to leave her alone. She’d barricaded herself so I couldn’t lash out and torture a confession from her.

Fuck.

My cock twitched at the thought of hurting her.

The disgusting sickness never let me go. I’d already done so much to her. I’d branded her. I’d bit her. I’d whipped and bled and fucked her.

Yet now, she’d forsaken me, and the monster howled at the goddamn moon for answers to her secrets.

Franco stepped hesitantly into my quarters. “Tess said the car is ready.” He rubbed the back of his neck. The guy was slightly taller than I was, yet he knew what I was capable of. He’d seen me tear a rapist’s heart from his chest all because my esclave told me to.

“What car? Pourquoi?” Why? I pointed at the door, punching it again for good measure. “Know what? I’d rather hear it from her.” I hoped she understood my anger at her stupid games. The moment I had access to her, she’d regret ever keeping things from me.

Franco glanced at the locked bathroom, a slight smile on his face. “Fuck, she does know you well.”

My nostrils flared as my heart raced to a diabolic rhythm. “What does she know?”

“That you wouldn’t take this news calmly.”