Jacob's Faith (Breeds #11)
Page 20“Kiss me, mate.” There was a hint of desperation in his voice now. “Kiss me, Faith, before I die for your taste.”
He didn’t give her time to comply. Faith whimpered in eagerness as his lips covered hers, his tongue pushing past her lips as he groaned in his own need. His hips surged forward as his hands moved to her hips once again, holding her in place as his erection ground against her sex.
Faith wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers never still, learning each contour of his neck, his shoulders. She loved the strength she could feel, the heat and hardness of the man who held her mesmerized her. His flesh was completely free of hair, but the skin wasn’t smooth, soft like her own. It was weathered, tough, and made her feel more feminine, conquered and protected. He made her hornier than hell.
As his tongue tangled with hers, an imp of seductive mischief took hold of her. She allowed her lips to close on his tongue, to draw on him, at the same time, her fingers smoothed down his chest until she encountered the hard nubs of his male nipples beneath this shirt. She gripped the little point, massaging them tightly as she drew on his tongue.
He arched with a short, convulsive move. His body shook, shuddered with pleasure as he cried out at the caress. Yet, his hands moved in a lightning swift move, gripping her wrists and pulling her fingers back.
Faith moved back, watching him, breathing roughly, confused by his actions.
“Why?” She tried to pull her hands out of his grasp, watching as he fought to catch his breath.
His face was flushed, his eyes glittering with some emotion that tugged at her heart. Vulnerability? Hunger? She watched him, fighting to hide her amazement. Was she not supposed to please him, touch him?
“Let me touch you,” he growled, his hands going to the hem of her shirt.
“No.” Her hands caught his now. “Why don’t you want me to touch you, Jacob? Don’t you enjoy my touch?”
He had fought her before, on the couch. Forcing her to blackmail him, to challenge his strength to allow her freedom to touch him. Perhaps she was so untutored, so unknowing…
“You could teach me how to do it right.” She hated how her voice trembled, revealing her weakness, her needs to touch him. “Did I do it wrong, Jacob?”
He swallowed tightly, his eyes closing for a brief moment.
“Faith, any better and I would cum in my jeans,” he gritted out, his forehead resting against hers as he stared into her eyes. “I have never known such a lack of control.”
She could hear the confusion in his voice. A need to understand what was not understandable.
“I want to touch you too, Jacob,” she told him fiercely. “It is my right to touch you. My need.”
“So you can only rape me in a bed?” she taunted him.
“I can only control you in one it seems.” She could hear the frustration building in his voice.
Faith bit at her lower lip, watching him with a mixture of surprise and confusion. Was he angry at her? If he was, who the hell cared? She had needs as well. As her mate, he was required to satisfy those needs, and she was tired of waiting on him.
“Are you certain you can control me there, Jacob?” she asked him softly, watching him, filled with a sense of power, of knowledge. Her fingers raked over his tight abdomen, her female soul reveled in his harsh, indrawn breath.
“I could tie you to it.” His voice was raspy, desperate.
“Hmm,” she breathed out, licking her lips slowly. “Now that sounds interesting. But where would your sense of challenge come in?”
He grunted, trapping her hands as the nails scraped over a sensitive spot.
“Should there be a challenge?” he asked her as her fingers wiggled beneath his, releasing several of the buttons to his shirt.
His muscles jerked as her fingers stroked lightly over his flesh.
“God, Faith. Have mercy,” he groaned, his hand tightening on hers.
“Mercy?” she asked him rocking against his hips, caressing his cock through their clothing. “What is mercy, Jacob?”
Where had her mercy been in the last six years? Her eyes narrowed as she remembered the nights she had spent longing for him, her cunt soaked and weeping as she fought for some small measure of satisfaction.
He groaned, his head falling back against the seat once again as the heat of her body rocked against him. For indescribable minutes he arched against her, giving her maximum sensation, wedging his cock tighter, harder against the notch of her thighs.
“Faith, you are teasing the wrong man,” he told her, his voice deepening, darkening. “Your power only extends to the limits of my control.”
“And you think I cannot handle your loss of control, Jacob?” she asked him, her fingers releasing several more buttons so she could spread the shirt apart, revealing the heavy muscles of his chest.
Unable to control herself, Faith’s head lowered, her need to taste him, to caress him now paramount. She blew gentle breaths over the smooth flesh, then ran her tongue in a moist trail around the flat, darker area of his nipple.
“I will retaliate, Faith,” he promised her, groaning. “I refuse to lay back, my control a sacrifice to your explorations.”
Faith smiled, her lips brushing closer to the hard nub of his male nipple. He had nearly come out of his seat when her fingers had touched him. What would he do if her mouth surrounded him, as he did to her?
“Faith, do not do it,” his voice was heavy with warning as she brushed closer, her tongue swiping around the darkened area.
“Why?” she murmured against his chest, her hands laying flat on the bunched muscles of his abdomen. “Tell me, Jacob, why should I show you mercy, when I have been given none?”
His eyes speared into hers. She saw a maelstrom of emotions, conflicting needs and regrets in his expression. His hands rose, cupping her face with a tenderness she had never though Jacob capable of.
“Had I ever known how you suffered, had I suspected it, Faith, I would have ignored the dictates of my conscience and our Pack Leader to have you with me. But God’s truth, Faith, I thank God I did not know. For the horrors you would have seen would have shredded your soul.”
As they had shredded his. Faith stilled, seeing the pain, the horror of his memories as they clouded his eyes, darkened his expression.
“Perhaps, Jacob,” she said sadly, painfully. “Perhaps your mistake was your lack of faith in me. To shred my soul, you would have to take my anchor. Had I been with you, that anchor would have been secure.”
She moved from his lap now, breathing roughly, aware that the pain of both their pasts twisted between them, dulling the edge of lust with bitterness. “As it was, there was no anchor, no mate, nothing but a memory, or a dream. I was never certain which.” With trembling fingers she re-buttoned her pants, shaking from her lusts and the emotional storm swirling between them.
He started to speak. She looked at his face, saw his indecision, the words coming to his lips, and she knew she had to escape. God help her if he apologized for that hour in the Lab, or if he expressed his regret. There had been so little for her to hold onto over the years. If that was taken as well, she didn’t know if she could bear the blow.
She jerked the door open and ran for the house. She ignored his curse. Ignored the anger in his voice. She ignored the need, the desire, and the rush of tears that fell from her eyes.
Chapter Fifteen
“Faith.” He caught her just inside the house, his arm wrapping around her waist, dragging her against his body, holding her tight against his chest. “Baby please, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, Faith…”
Her nails bit into his arm, pain and anger lashing at her heart as she tried to twist away from him. The feel of his body, so warm and hard against her sent her blood thundering through her veins, throbbing in her cunt. She was a seething mass of lust, and damned near ready to beg him to fuck her. But even stronger than her lust, was her need for Jacob himself. His heart, his love. He was holding back the intense emotions she knew he kept hidden. Protecting himself and his heart.
“It was my place,” she bit out. “My place to be there for you. To soothe the horrors you faced, Jacob. To comfort you. You took that from me.”
And it had tormented her over the years. Wondering if he needed her, if he was lonely, hurting, if the things he was forced to do, the blood he was forced to shed was further scarring his soul.
He turned her in his arms, staring down at her, furious now. His eyes darkening with the intensity of his emotions.
“It is my place to protect you.”
“It was my place to protect you as well,” she blazed back at him. “To protect your heart, Jacob, and your soul. To comfort you, to heal you. This was my place. And you took it from me. Instead, you’re scarred, so hard inside that you cannot even open up to me.”
“Open up to you?” he questioned her roughly as he released her, his fingers tunneling through his hair in agitation. “What do I hide from you, Faith? You have only to ask me and I will provide for you.”
Faith stared up at him, seeing his confusion, his attempt to understand what she felt he should have already seen.
“Then give me your heart,” she demanded. “Can you do that, Jacob?”
He stilled. He went so still, that Faith felt a shaft of raw fear surge through her body. His eyes lost their heated anger, chilled until she felt frozen to the bone.
“Bainesmith cut it out, Faith,” he finally told her softly. “Long ago, far away. Didn’t you know that, baby? There’s no heart left.”
Faith strangled on the cry that welled up from her throat as he passed her, stalking through the foyer and then bounding up the stairs. There was no regret in him. No anger. He had cut himself off from her as though she no longer existed.
Her fists clenched in pain. She had known better. Known not to push him, not to mention his heart or his love. Like Wolfe and Aiden, Jacob’s life had been much harder than hers as the younger member of the Pack. As the oldest, the strongest, they had taken the responsibility of protecting the others. She shuddered as she remembered the cruelties of the scientists and soldiers. Then her eyes narrowed. She stared up at the second floor, her lips firming. He was wrong. He still had a heart, she could feel it beating, feel it hurting. She could see the pain in his eyes when he remembered the Labs, the helpless fury that even six years later, had not dimmed.
He was hiding his heart from her. He was hiding his emotions, and his soul. It had become such a habit with him that he no longer even realized what he was doing.
She sighed wearily, wiped the tears from her cheeks and debated the best way to deal with it now. She loved Jacob. She had always loved him. But she needed his love as well, and Faith knew that he would fight letting go of the protective shield that sheltered his emotions. She understood the need to do so. She had been doing it herself ever since he left her after their escape. But that didn’t mean she would allow him to hide any longer.
Faith knew if she didn’t act and break through his reserve, then he would eventually walk away from her again. He was an Enforcer, a fighter, a warrior. That part of him would never settle down to Pack life, and Faith knew she wouldn’t want him to. There were too many Breeds out there crying out for their freedom. But she wanted, needed to be a part of it as well.
Gritting her teeth, she snarled silently and stomped through the wide hallway into the kitchen. She was horny and hungry, and evidently Jacob had little intention of satisfying the first need right now, so she would take care of the second. She would need her strength to deal with his stubbornness anyway.