Irreplaceable

It was just after four thirty when the doorbell rang. It was so unlike Logan to not just waltz right in, but I was too excited to drag him back to bed to give it any real thought.

I opened the door with an eager smile, only to be greeted by the swollen red eyes of Hilary.

“Hilary, what’s wrong?” I asked, hurrying her inside and out of the icy weather.

Her face was pale, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth as she gnawed at it, clutching a brown paper bag in her hands.

“I went shopping today,” she replied eerily and nodded down at said bag, crinkled in her hand as though she’d held it the entire drive over.

She held it out and I took it, hesitant to open it by her pained expression. It was more supermarket shopping than boutique.

“Before you open it, you have to swear not to tell anyone.”

What was in there? “Of course.”

Nervously, I unrolled the bag that had been nearly worn through from her handling of it, and peeked inside.

“Hilary.” I sighed, pulling out a pregnancy test that was piled in the bag with a dozen more of every brand.

She plopped down on the couch and shrugged out of her coat, not saying a word. I didn’t press her—just placed it back in the bag and sat beside her quietly for support, unsure what I could say or do.

“Caleb’s going to kill me,” she finally said after a few minutes.

I pulled my legs under me. “Are you sure about this? I mean, have you taken a test yet?”

“Not yet. I was waiting till you were with me. Didn’t want to do it before school. ” She ran her hand over her eyes and down her face. “My cycle has been regular since I was thirteen, yet I’m two weeks late.”

“Did you guys use protection?”

“I’m on the pill, but I may have forgotten to take them every day.”

“You forgot?” I hadn’t meant for that to sound as judgmental as it had come out.

“Yes, forgot! Seeing as my best friend was laid up in a hospital, unconscious, I was a little stressed last month, all right!?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” Crap. What a good friend I was. I took a deep breath and stood. “There’s no reason to sit here freaking out until we have an answer.”

I dumped the bag over the coffee table, spilling the tests out.

“Did you need so many?” I chuckled, then bit the inside of my lip. Not the time to laugh.

“I grabbed every kind off the shelf and made a beeline for the register. Had to throw in an extra twenty to swear Mr. Tanner to secrecy.” I caught the twitch at the corner of her lip.

“Seriously, you’re worried old Mr. Tanner’s going to spread gossip?” There was no way to hold in my laughter at that. The man was pressing ninety-five years old.

“Shut up!” She giggled, throwing a test at me. “I was panicked, all right!?”

“Whatever you say.” I grinned.

“There has to be an easier way,” I said through my hysterical laughter.

“Come on, hand me another.”

I was nearly bent over, standing in the doorway to my bathroom. I handed her another test as she sat on the toilet. She dipped it into her stream of urine before setting it on the counter.

“Another, hurry!”

“You have eight more. There is no way you have that much pee in you!” I shook my head in disbelief, holding out another test.

“Shit!”

“Told you.”

“Okay, well, we have the first seven tests, and I’ll drink lots of water and take the rest next.”

“You sound crazy, you know that, right? You only need one—maybe two, tops.”

Hilary flushed the toilet, stood, and pulled up her jeans. The tests were thrown all over the counter, and all she could do was sigh as she turned on the faucet and washed her hands.

“I know, I just want to be sure. So please just let me have my irrational freak-out.”

My attention was now trained on the instructions, reading to see how long we needed to wait, when my head dipped back in a fit of laughter.

“What now?” She turned back, staring at me. “I get it. I took too many tests. Haha.”

I shook my head and read back the new knowledge I’d learned. “‘Place a clean cup in the urine stream to collect sample, then dip the test for five seconds.’”

She gaped at me and sucked in a deep breath, blowing it out and rolling her eyes. “Well, now we know for the next time someone, maybe even you, has a pregnancy scare.”

“Watch that mouth of yours!” I cracked a smile and tossed the paper in the trash with all the others. “Besides, there’s no cup of mine I’d have let you piss in!”

Hilary laughed and followed me out to the living room. Five minutes later, all seven pregnancy tests were spread out on the small coffee table over a long sheet of paper towels. It was hard to watch as she anxiously placed each one out, her hands trembling, gnawing on her lip as the timer counted down the minutes.

The buzzer jolted her up from her seat, absolutely terror-stricken.

“I can’t look! You do it!” She walked across the room and began pacing.

“You sure?”

“Positive. I mean—just do it, no positives. Please!” Her nails were being chomped to bits in her mouth, her eyes glued to her feet.

“Whatever these say, it’s going to be all right. I’m here for you, and Caleb will be, too. He’s a good guy.”

I looked down at the first test and then ran my eye over each one in the line. They all revealed the same results.

“Well?” She was facing me now.

“Congratulations—you’re going to be a mother, and a damn good one!”

“Oh…I’m going to be sick.” With that, she sprinted from the room, slamming the bathroom door shut behind her.

This may not have been how she’d planned it, but she loved Caleb and he loved her. I knew they’d make it work. He wouldn’t leave her.

I’d started cleaning up the table when my phone rang.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hello, sweetheart. Sorry, I’m running late. Oliver had a karate class after school, but I’d love for us to have dinner. Can you come over in an hour?”

Hilary walked back in the room then with a washcloth, wiping her mouth. She was as white as a ghost.

“I’m sorry, Hilary’s here and she isn’t feeling well. How about tomorrow?”

There was a beat of silence before he spoke. “You’re not backing away, are you?”

“No, I told you last night and this morning. I’m yours.”

“Good, then I’ll come see you tonight after I put Oliver to bed. Jax should be home by ten to keep an eye on him while he sleeps, then I’ll be there.”

“I’ll be waiting,” I said before hanging up.

“You and Logan finally worked things out, huh?” Hilary smiled.

“Yeah, it appears so.” I placed the phone on the side table and continued cleaning up, walking into the kitchen.

“If you have plans, I can go.”

“No, stay and hang out. We can try another hand of poker and see if our luck’s improved,” I said, opening the junk drawer by my fridge.