Irreplaceable

Blissfully lost in the lust consuming me, I wasn’t prepared for the drop that landed me on an unfamiliar bed in a dark room. My skin tingled, blood pounding in my ears, urging me to continue what I’d started.

“Where are we?” I breathed, releasing my lips from his and sitting up beside him. He stood at the end of the bed, regarding me with a focused eye.

Why did I have to speak? Why did I care where we were? I needed more of him. I sat up on my knees and ran my fingers over his open fly that he’d never re-buttoned.

“Alone.” His voice was delicious and raspy, eyes glowing in the darkness. He caught my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the pad of my thumb and working his way to each finger until he reached my pinky.

I looked around, unsure of my next move, doubt beginning to creep in when Logan released my hand and sat beside me on the bed. He caught my face, caressing my cheeks, successful at regaining my full attention.

“I promise we’re alone. I own the building and we rent out these rooms …well, all but this one.”

“Okay,” I replied dumbly. My hand lifted to his jaw, fingers tracing his lower lip, eyes searching his. With nothing but want, I swung my leg over his lap, straddling him.

“Kiss me, damn it.”

And he did, ruthlessly. His hands gripped my hips, bringing me as close to him as possible, but it didn’t last. The moment I slid my hands over the swells of his chest, he hesitated. His hands loosened, stroking my jean-covered thighs at a deliberately slow pace.

I sat back just enough to trail my hands down his strong arms, tracing the ripples of his muscles with my finger, then dipped my head down to place a wet kiss on the side of his neck. A relaxed, pleased moan greeted me, building my confidence and urging me on.

“We should get some sleep,” he said out of the blue, placing a tender kiss to the tip of my nose. He lifted me up, sat me back on the bed, and stood up, walking across the room and flicking a switch by the door.

My hand went up over my squinting eyes, struggling to adjust to the cruel light glowing from the lamp on the nightstand directly to my left.

What the hell was he doing? Where was the action, the passion? The I’ve-got-to-have-you-now in the heat of the moment?

Instead, his hands were digging in his pockets as he stood in front of a tall dresser. He pulled out his cell phone, keys, and wallet, setting them on top of it.

This was definitely not how I thought things were going to be. Not that I’d planned this or even had a shred of conscience while he carried me to some hole in the wall, but now, sitting there watching him take his time across the room, the moment was officially gone.

Or was it? Logan pulled off his shirt and unzipped his trousers, sliding them down and off his body. Body-hugging black boxer briefs clung to his solid legs. I swallowed, staring at the package they contained until I felt a prickle flare over my skin.

Slowly, I glanced up to find him watching me, staring at him until his mouth turned up in a crooked grin. My head turned to the side with an eye roll. This wasn’t how I expected things to go.

Actually, I hadn’t expected anything. I hadn’t been thinking—only acting—but now I couldn’t stop chastising myself for being so damn weak. I wanted it to be quick and to the point—have him like the girls in the bar had. Not like this. Not with him staring at me, searching me for a sign I couldn’t give.

“I don’t mind you watching, sweetheart.”

Why am I still here?

Logan was gorgeous and in an unbelievable I’ll-probably-never-see-a-man-like-him-again way, but still, my thoughts were no longer lost in the fog of passion. My brain was full steam ahead, telling me to ignore the tingling arousal pooling in my stomach and run—run fast, and run far.

“I’ve got to go.” I pushed off the bed, failing to collect my thoughts and ease my screaming libido that was begging me to stay.

Logan was behind me the moment I reached the door, my clammy hand gripping the knob.

His fingertips caressed the sensitive skin on the back of my neck and trailed down my spine as he slipped my coat down my arms and spoke in a rough whisper. “I didn’t bring you up here for sex, Cassandra. You want me to show you? Then I will.”

Slowly, he turned me around. His arms stretched out and rested on the door behind me, blocking me in. “I want you to see me, know me, and forget the past.”

I let my head fall forward against the door and closed my eyes. “You should go home, Logan. It’s your birthday. You should be with your family. I should be anywhere but here.”

I wasn’t even sure what I was saying. I just opened my mouth, and the words fell out in my desperate attempt to get away before his tenderness penetrated the piece of my heart he’d cracked open and had only just begun repairing.

“You can’t drive, and neither can I.”

“What?” My eyes flew open, and I whipped around to meet his soft gaze. “Yes, I can,” I defended, nearly breathless at his bare rippled chest pressed against me.

“Besides the fact that you had shots downstairs, you’re flustered. I won’t let you drive yourself home tonight, and I’ve had more than the legal limit. So you might as well stay with me.”

Stay with him? Not now. Not after he gave me time to think and said all the right things, splitting a crack down the side of the stone fortress surrounding my battered heart. No, I needed to get out of there.

With a deep breath in and back out, my eyes closed for a moment while I collected myself. Then I was back—strong. Chin up, shoulders straight.

“Believe me when I tell you, Logan, that your birthday will be a lot more fun if I leave.” I ducked under his arm, putting distance between us.

He remained unaffected, turning with an easy smile, as if I’d said nothing but sweet sentiments. “My birthday is nearly over, and I never got my wish.”

He looked so beautiful staring at me with such tenderness. Why had I kissed him? Why did the thought of him walking away, disappearing from my life, send such a panic tearing through me, propelling me straight into his arms?

“Well, nobody said it had to come true the same day.” My voice shook at the thoughtful look crossing his face. What was wrong with me? Why did he have to look so vulnerable?

He stepped closer, eyes pleading. “Don’t leave. Please.”

My eyes fluttered shut, a ragged breath slipping out as his words danced over me. This was so hard. So unbearable.

“Logan, I—”

His hand flipped the light switch back off, casting us once again in darkness lit only by the bright moon shining off the snow outside and filtering in.

“My wish was to hold you for one night. No sex, I swear, just you sleeping safely in my arms. Please, let me show you what you need to see…how good it can be.”

The man needed to stop with the pleases. They washed over me, taking my breath and leaving me with nothing more than an open heart and nodding head.

I followed his lead when he took my hand, guiding me back to the bed. Peeling back the covers with the sweetest smile, he asked me with the gentlest voice, “Would you like to undress?”

Snapped out of my trance did not even come close to how I felt. It was as though someone woke me from my dreams of heaven with a douse of ice water.

“What?” I snapped, outraged. Undress? I thought he said no sex.