Irreplaceable

My head spun. Standing there with him again, so close and with such raw anger, caused the memory of New Year’s to begin running wildly through my thoughts. Something in him seemed to notice, as his rage began to dissipate slowly.

“Fine. I’ll go get the car. Wait here.” Irritation riddled his voice.

Yeah, I was going to wait all right, but not for him. Just being in that parking lot left me raging inside, as memories of the last time we were there filled my thoughts. I closed my eyes, fighting to block out the haunting images with little success.

“Please hurry, please hurry,” I whispered to myself, my hands shoved deep in my coat pockets, legs trembling. I needed my ride to arrive before he returned, and for once, my wish came true.

“I’m not even going to ask why you’re here,” Luke said, leaning over from his driver’s seat to open the door.

“Good.”

The moment I stepped forward, Logan’s car pulled up, blocking the road from the traffic behind us. I hurried into Luke’s truck and slammed the door just as Logan’s door opened and he began jogging toward my side of the vehicle.

“Just go,” I panted, my adrenaline spiking.

It was childish, but I needed Luke to put some distance between my past and me. Unfortunately, he wasn’t moving, and instead staring at me like I was speaking a dead language. I shot him a puppy-eyed plea, but it was too late—his gaze was focused past me to my window, where Logan was lurking. He leaned down and tapped on it.

To my dismay, Luke hit the button to lower the window.

“I can take you home,” Logan whispered, leaning against the truck.

“Already have a ride. Good night, Logan.” I turned my gaze back out the windshield, staring at the snow-covered road and bright lamp posts.

“I’m sorry, all right? I snapped seeing him there with you. Cassandra, I miss you.”

I closed my eyes, his gentle words ripping through me and pounding on the walls surrounding my thumping but still broken heart.

“I’m tired,” I murmured. “I just want to go home.”

His thumb and forefinger caught my chin, turning my face back to him gently. “I’ll stop by in the morning?”

The longing in his voice was thick and heavy, begging me to say yes. I needed to get away—from that place where my heart was destroyed, from him and his soul-searching gaze.

“Do what you want. We both know you will, anyway.”

“It’s too hard to stay away from you, Cassandra. It’s killing me.” He released my face, finding something in my eyes.

I looked away and took a breath, trying to stay strong. He always got to me. I couldn’t hear anymore that night. I couldn’t endure the agony in his voice.

“Good night, Logan. Let’s go, Luke.”

“Make sure she gets inside safely,” Logan demanded.

“Of course. I’ll take care of her.”

Luke’s words didn’t appear to sit well with Logan. I caught his grip tightening on the windowpane of my door, and I turned to catch his hard stare at Luke. His jaw ticked, but my voice broke through and lightened the intensity.

“I’ll be fine. You might as well stay and help Hilary.” My own words fell out so evenly and calmly. I relaxed into them.

He stared at me in a long silence, then straightened himself and walked back to his car without another word.

“Take me home, Luke,” I said, resting back in the seat.

We drove in silence for only a few minutes before Luke asked, “So, you’re not dating him, correct?”

“No,” I said with a sigh. I didn’t want to think about Logan or the darkness plaguing his deep-blue eyes tonight.

“Maybe you should clarify that with him. Or at least shoot him a text to get the hell off my bumper.”

I whipped my head back and there, a few feet behind the vehicle, was Logan’s car, following us. I rolled my eyes and turned back around.

“Ignore him.”

“Easier said than done. This truck’s my baby. One scratch...”

I shook my head, laughing at the ridiculousness of that statement.

“Logan’s a safe driver,” I said, staring blankly out the window.

As we pulled up my driveway, Luke switched off the ignition, and the headlights of Logan’s car pulled up on Luke’s side.

“Thanks for the ride.” I opened the truck door and looked back, catching Logan standing beside his car door, waiting—for what, I had no idea.

“You want me to walk you in and make sure he doesn’t bother you?” Luke asked, his eyes on Logan’s intimidating stance.

“No, go home and get some sleep. I owe you enough for making you drive all the way out here.”

“It’s not a problem, but between you and me, the guy has some serious boundary issues.”

“You have no idea,” I said with a small chuckle, and leaned across the seat to give him a warm hug and kiss on the cheek. “Thanks again, and good night.”

As I climbed out, I noticed Logan’s hard gaze was still fixed on Luke, who was now backing out of the driveway. With an irritated eye roll, I headed to the front door and pulled out my key.

“Cassandra—”

“Go home, Logan.”

“I just wanted to make sure you got home safely.”

I could feel him standing close behind me. Goose bumps flared over my neck and down my arms. Sweat beaded under my thick coat as my body reacted to his nearness, calling out for him to take what he wanted and put me out of my misery.

It was only a matter of time; we both knew it. The only thing I held out hope for was that when he was through with me, I’d someday find a man to put me back together.

The key turned in the lock and I opened the door, never once looking back until I stepped inside, doorknob in hand.

“Luke did a good job getting me home, so you can go,” I said, and it wasn’t a lie.

“I just wanted to make sure—”

“That I didn’t screw him?”

Logan’s head tilted slightly, his jaw set. “He wouldn’t be that stupid,” he said through gritted teeth.

With a sigh, I rolled my eyes. “Good night, Logan.”

Logan lifted my chin, staring into my tired eyes. “This is killing me, Cassandra. I want you so badly, and to watch you push me further and further away…” He closed his eyes and shook his head once. “It’s too much. I’m losing it.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Tell me you can forgive me…that you still want this.” Logan dipped his head down, finger still under my chin, lifting my face as he crushed his lips down over mine.

The kiss was needy; Logan’s hands slid over my cheeks and into my hair. His tongue ran over my lips and darted its way inside. I couldn’t control myself; my body longed to be his, my thoughts cut off by the taste of his warm, minty breath.

My hands sneaked up and wrapped around his neck, drawing him closer. Every nerve ending in my body sputtered and roared when he pulled back just enough to see my face and gauge my conflicted expression.

“Stop,” I breathed.

“No!”

“I can’t, all right? I just…can’t. I won’t be another conquest. Another girl for you to pursue like the one you met on the airplane.”