Illusive

I was exhausted, and fought through the fog to gather my thoughts again, but I couldn’t. The last thoughts I had were that sex with Griff was amazing and that dinner could wait. And when I heard Griff say, “Go to sleep, baby,” I finally succumbed and let sleep claim me.

* * *

“Hey, Sophia,” Magan answered her phone when I rang her first thing the next morning after Griff had told me about his encounter with her in the shopping centre car park, and what her boyfriend, Brody, had done.

“Magan, Griff told me about what Brody did. Are you okay? Because I’m worried about you, honey…in fact, I think I should just get in my car and come straight over to your house. Blow work, and if they want to say anything about me being late today, that’s their problem.” My words all rushed out in my anxious state.

“No, I’m not okay,” she confessed, and I heard all her fears in her voice.

She needs me.

“I’m coming over now. Hold tight.” I grabbed my keys and began walking out of the house while we kept talking.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, and I knew I was doing the right thing. And it was just another reason to be mad at our mother.

It should be her holding Magan’s hand through this.

It should be her ready to catch her if she falls.

I hung up and drove to her house. She lived about twenty minutes from me, and when I arrived there, she greeted me at the front door with tears in her eyes. I pulled her into my arms and comforted her while the tears fell.

“Have you heard from him?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No, he hasn’t called,” she said through her tears, and I wanted to kill the asshole for breaking her heart.

I frowned. “Magan, this guy treated you badly. Why do you want him to call? Wouldn’t you rather move on and find someone worthy of your love?”

She swallowed hard and looked at me through eyes that gave her fear away. “I was lucky to find Brody, Sophia. I’ve never had a boyfriend who cared about me the way he does.”

My heart hurt for her. I knew where this kind of thinking stemmed from because I’d been there, done that in my life. The vicious cycle of not wanting those we loved to leave us, so we let them walk all over us in order to keep them.

Our mother really has a lot to answer for.

“You’re scared to lose him, I get that, but you’re better off without a person like that in your life. It’s not really him you’re scared of losing…it’s the love you think he gives you that you desperately want. Trust me, I know, because I’ve had asshole boyfriends, too, and I put up with a lot of shit before I realised I was worth more than that. He’s not giving you love, honey. He’s trying to control you by taking advantage of your insecurities.”

She stared at me as if she was trying to wrap her head around what I’d just said. I figured she wouldn’t come to fully understand the truth in what I’d said until she’d lived her life some more. Unfortunately in life, we usually had to make our own mistakes and learn from them before making better choices.

Eventually, she said, “I’m going to go and clean my face, and then I’ll be back.”

I let her go. She probably needed a little time to herself to have a think.

Looking around her foster home, I remembered how much I disliked her foster mother. Sure, the woman worked a full-time job, but she hardly cleaned the house, and she pretty much never cooked. She took on older foster kids and made them do all the chores, and that pissed me off. I was counting down the days until Magan could leave, and as far as I was concerned, she could come and live with me then if she wanted.

Magan came back and sat with me at the kitchen table. She fidgeted, and I reached out, and stilled her hands. “Whatever happens, we will figure it out, okay? You and me – I’ll be there for you every step.”

Tears pricked her eyes again, and she reached out, and put her arms around me. She hugged me for a long time, and when she pulled away, she said, “I’m so glad I found that photo of you and your address in Mum’s stuff that day I found out about you.”

I frowned. “Wait, you never told me that. I thought you got my information from her sister.”

“No, she sent me a box of photos from when I was a kid, and on the top when I opened it, she had a photo of you and a post-it note with your address on it. That’s how I found you.”

My heart skidded to a stop.

She kept track of me.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked.

“No, I just didn’t realise she’d kept track of me,” I said softly.

She smiled. “See, she does love you, Sophia.”

I still didn’t want to burst her bubble, so I changed the subject. “Do you want to come to dinner tonight? I’m going to get Griff to fire up my barbeque.”

“Steak! I’m in.”

“I knew I could totally bribe you with steak,” I said with a wink. Standing, I said, “Okay, I gotta get to work, but I’ll see you later. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Nah, I’ll catch a bus. See you then.” She paused for a second before adding, “I love you, sis.”

She didn’t tell me that very often, so my heart swelled hearing it. “I love you, too.”

* * *

I took a sip of wine and laughed at Magan’s joke. She’d met me at home after I finished work, and wanting to take her mind off the fact her boyfriend was an ass, we’d turned the music up and baked some cupcakes. She loved baking as much as I did, and we often made cakes. They were our downfall, as both of us had a sweet tooth.