Illuminae

LeFevre, S, Prv: what makes u think I want anything?

Dorian, C, Corp: Because you’re flirting with me. And unless I missed a memo and have somehow become … now what was the term you used again?

Dorian, C, Corp: Oh, yes …

Dorian, C, Corp: “The last functional cock in the ’verse”

Dorian, C, Corp: … then you want something. So, what can I do for you?

LeFevre, S, Prv: How bout u meet me in Server Room D

LeFevre, S, Prv: and tear me out of this coverall with your teeth

Dorian, C, Corp:  …

Dorian, C, Corp: Are you serious?

LeFevre, S, Prv: lol

LeFevre, S, Prv: oh, LORD, no.

LeFevre, S, Prv: lololololololol

Dorian, C, Corp: I’m a bloody Corporal, you know. I outrank you. Technically, I could have you brought up on charges for that.

LeFevre, S, Prv: which would leave you stuck doing this install alone.

Dorian, C, Corp: Damn your logic, Private. Damn it straight to hell.

LeFevre, S, Prv: hey u hear about that SNAFU with Sigma Squad?

LeFevre, S, Prv: I heard they lost 12 guys. And two of the refugees broke out of the bay

Dorian, C, Corp: If that were true, I suspect we’d be under lockdown by now, yes?

LeFevre, S, Prv: u did hear something then

Dorian, C, Corp: Nothing I’m at liberty to share. Back to work, please.

LeFevre, S, Prv: I’m waiting on this upload. u can tell me, Charlie

Dorian, C, Corp: My lips are sealed.

LeFevre, S, Prv: well

LeFevre, S, Prv: I can fix that

Dorian, C, Corp: Meaning what?

LeFevre, S, Prv: meet me in Server Room D

Dorian, C, Corp:  …

Dorian, C, Corp: Are you serious?

Dorian, C, Corp: … Stephanie?

Dorian, C, Corp: < user log-out due to inactivity >

Friends,

I am pleased to report that repairs to the Alexander’s drive systems are proceeding ahead of schedule, and we should be returning to maximum velocity within the next few days. Unfortunately, we are still unable to provide exact timings, but rest assured the tech crews involved are working tirelessly to ensure the safety of the fleet.

The Lincoln has not shown itself since the attack on the Copernicus—it’s possible the damage sustained during the Copernicus attack has rendered it incapable of further pursuit. However, General Torrence and his staff are continuing repair operations around the clock, and the sanctuary of Heimdall Station is closer than it has ever been. We ask for your patience for the next few days—rest assured the worst is almost over.

Patience is not without its rewards, however! I’m informed Lt Mifune has dredged up another cinema classic from his collection for screening in Amphitheater A—tonight we have the award-winning thriller TERMINUS starring Blake Hill and Elizabeth Andretti. First session will commence at 19:00 hours. The film contains some mature content, so children under the age of twelve can attend a re-screening of SUPER TURBO AWESOME TEAM VS. MEGAPANDA in Amphitheater B, or be dropped off in the temp crèche on Deck 17.

We would also like to congratulate Martina Hernandez and her husband Christopher for the birth of their beautiful baby girl, who was brought into the universe by our medical staff at 01:13 this morning! Both mother and daughter are doing well, and I am delighted to report our newest crew member has been named “Hypatia” by her parents. Your prayers and best wishes are appreciated—any donations of clothing or toys for our little stowaway can be made via your friendly Hypatia ensign.

I thank you all for your courage and patience through our recent trials, and look forward to bringing you more news as it comes to hand.

ByteMe: howzit?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: tense. t-e-n-s-e

Mason, E, LT 2nd: lot of scuttlebutt around. Bay 4 and the rest of it

Mason, E, LT 2nd: trying not to think about Jimmy. it’s not working

ByteMe: :(

Mason, E, LT 2nd: talk to me Kades

Mason, E, LT 2nd: tell me something good

ByteMe: um, ok

ByteMe: …

ByteMe: o, remember Ms. Colfer from applied sciences class? She’s over here, u know.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: No kidding? Wow, she made it.

ByteMe: Yeah. She’s kind of the reason we got together

Mason, E, LT 2nd: Damn, I still remember first day in her class. You were checking me out HARD, Grant.

ByteMe: U. R. DELUSIONAL. u kept asking me stupid questions about hydrogen bonding

Mason, E, LT 2nd: confession: hydrogen was not the kind of bonding on my mind

ByteMe: o rly? am I to understand it was highly sophisticated courting behavior? did i misinterpret it, with my backwater ways?

Mason, E, LT 2nd: Mock if you will. I’ll refrain from pointing out you DID end up falling madly in love with me

ByteMe: …

Mason, E, LT 2nd: I’m nice like that

ByteMe: madly as in it was complete insanity to do it. and i was misled on the whole “wishing-to-bond” front by the way you kept sticking your tongue down jodie kingston’s throat

ByteMe: it was like you were trying to make up for missed biology lessons with practical experience. ew.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: you know Jodie’s dead, right?

ByteMe: i … jesus

Mason, E, LT 2nd: Way to go, mood-killer

ByteMe: okay, sorry

Mason, E, LT 2nd: Lol, you’re so bad at this, Grant

Mason, E, LT 2nd: That’s one of the things I love about you

ByteMe: fuck off, I was trying to make you feel better

Mason, E, LT 2nd: …

Mason, E, LT 2nd: You kiss your mother with that mouth?