Ignite

Lexi rang me then. Bad timing. I was still fuming. “Hello,” I picked up, panting from the back and forth activity of packing.

“Hey, hot stuff, how are you going today?”

“Yeah, packing away her shit as we speak.”

“How are you feeling?”

“For fuck’s sake, does everyone have to ask me that question every bloody time they talk to me?” I vented out, collapsing onto the couch. I instantly regretted the words. “Shit, sorry. I’m not doing so great, if we’re going to be honest.”

“Your mom’s dead, and you bumped into your ex-boyfriend that you walked out on all those years ago. I don’t blame you for being upset.”

“Do you have to be so blunt about everything?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, since you’re Miss Blunt, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Am I fat?”

“What?” she laughed.

“You heard me. Am I fatter than when you first met me?”

“Did someone call you fat?”

“Just answer the question, and I want your brutal honesty.”

“You’re not fat. Your boobs have gotten bigger, and your hips are a bit wider, but you’re nowhere near fat. You’re healthy and curvy.”

I groaned in disgust. “Fuck, I’m fat, then.”

“You make me sick. Say that around a real fat person, and I bet they’ll clobber your ass to the ground. You’re gorgeous. Now who the fuck said you were fat?”

“Jaxon said I got bigger, and that I hit my peak young.”

“He was obviously trying to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, mission accomplished.”

“Sara, you left him in the worst way possible, and suddenly you’re back in his life and you’re doing well. He’ll say what he can to hurt your progress. Why? Because he’s pissed off at you.”

“He hates me.”

“Yeah, well, he’s entitled to hate you, but he isn’t entitled to make you feel like shit. Do yourself a favour and steer clear from him. I don’t want you getting any more hurt by him.”

Yeah, it was a given that I would steer clear from him, but I knew I was suppressing the side of me that would do anything to see him. Why would I want to torment myself? Maybe I wanted more of his cruelty, you know, as a way to hammer that last nail in the coffin, or some bullshit excuse like that.

By 4:30 in the afternoon, I’d put a huge dent in my progress. I had intentionally left my former bedroom for last. Something about those boxes had me shrinking away in quiet distaste. There were probably some personal things in them that I wasn’t entirely sure I was prepared to face. I decided to leave it for tomorrow.

On the three bus changes to Lucinda’s house, I’d picked up Chinese food near a stop. They were packed tightly in their containers so they’d still be hot and ready when I got there. It was funny even after all these years I remembered what she liked to eat.

Then I walked the three blocks to her gargantuan house, raking my fingers through my frizzy hair before I knocked on the door. It’d started spitting out, and I didn’t want to be caught in the rain on my way back to the motel. I’d have to ask Lucinda to drop me off, which I’m sure she’d be more than willing to do.

My happy smile immediately vanished when Jaxon opened the door.

Fifteen

No words escaped my mouth. I sort of just awkwardly stood there as he looked me up and down, water dripping from his head. Face red and skin moist, he must have just come out of the shower. He was wearing a white long-sleeve slim fit top that hugged every muscle on his upper body. As I gawked at him, I noticed the top button of his jeans was undone, flashing a little bit of his black briefs beneath. I flushed and turned away, hoping that the chill in the air had made my cheeks already red so he wouldn’t notice.

“Yeah?” he finally sounded out, impatiently.

“Your mom–”

“She’s not here.”

I looked down at the time on my phone. “She said she would be here. We arranged dinner for 5:30.”

“Well, she’s not here.” The edginess in his tone freaked the hell out of me. So did his eyes: grim and cold as he regarded me with that same loathing as last night.

“Jaxon,” Christy sounded from behind him. There was a warning in her tone. He turned around to look at her. When she raised her brows, he exhaled in irritation and walked away from the door, leaving it open.

When he was well out of view, Christy walked over to me with a smile on her face. “Hey, Sara, come in.”

I hesitantly stood for a few seconds, debating whether to just turn around and go back to the motel instead.

“Come on,” she gestured me inside with her head.

I noticed, with great relief as I stepped inside, that her hair was not wet. So she must not have showered with him. Because showering with him would have required her to get naked with him, and that thought made my stomach queasy and my inner bitch jealous.

“You’re really wet,” she said.

Well, duly noted, Christy.“Yeah, I had to take the bus.”

“How come?”

“Car was stolen.”

Her mouth dropped. “That’s awful. Called the police?”

“Yeah, I did all that.”

“I hope they find it.” She shut the door and began walking through the foyer. When she noticed I wasn’t following, she stopped and looked over at me, green eyes twinkling under the foyer light. “You coming?”

“I’ll just give Lucinda a call.” Good excuse.

“Okay, well, we’ll be in the living room.”

I nodded despite thinking, as if I would join you two. I walked over to the spiral staircase and took a seat on the bottom step. I closed my eyes for a minute. I was angry. Lucinda had said it would just be the two of us. Why was he here? And why the hell didn’t she tell me she wasn’t home yet? I had my little mini-meditation, and then I rang Lucinda.

“Oh, shit!” she cursed as she picked up. “Shit, I totally lost track of time. Where are you? Shit. You’re not standing out front of the house, are you?”

“No, Jaxon let me in.”

“Oh, double shit. I don’t know what he’s doing there.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m doing Loraine Chidley’s hair. Remember her?” No. “I put the colour in and everything, but her damn hair didn’t take to it. So I’ve had to re-do it. I didn’t think it was past five in the afternoon already. God damn it.”