Ignite

“Why do you want to do it with me?” he asked me, eyeing my body hungrily.

“I’m sure you’d make me feel right. You’re experienced, after all.”

“I’ve never taken someone’s virginity, Sara.”

“Really?” I squinted to get a clearer look of his face in the dark, and he looked right back at me without a trace of humour in him.

“Really.” He put a hand to my cheek and stroked it before moving it down to my shoulder. The feeling of his touch drove me crazy. “As much as I want to, I didn’t plan on this. I don’t have condoms.”

“I’m on birth control.”

His eyes widened. “Since when?”

“Since Jordan.”

“I thought you and him never…”

“We didn’t.”

This definitely got his attention. I could see him battling an internal conflict that I was sure I’d win. “What else, Sara? Convince me.”

“It would make sense to give myself to you,” I muttered, closing my eyes at the feel of his hand moving down my arm deliberately slow. “You’re my best friend and I trust you.”

He stopped stroking me abruptly. “You trust me?”

“Completely.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“I imagine there will be some pain.”

“Then you’ll hate me.”

“No. If you do a good enough job, I’ll be too aroused.”

He laughed lightly. “How do you know this stuff?”

“I may be a virgin, but I’m eighteen, Jaxon. I’m not stupid.” I opened my eyes. He was distant, thinking heavily about it. Jeez. Why did I have to convince him at all? Did the others have to as well? Wasn’t it meant to be the other way around?

I grabbed his hand and, to stir him from his reveries, kissed his palm. He smiled at my affection. Then I rested on my back and, continuing to stare at him, brought his hand down to my breast. His smile vanished in an instant, replaced by aching lust behind his piercing eyes. Though I maintained as much composure as possible, I was in complete shambles on the inside. There was not one ounce of confidence in me to just spread myself wide for him without feeling self-conscious and nervous. He had to help me out, but he seemed to continue to just linger there, eyeing my body and waiting for me to do more.

So I slid his hand down slowly, and could hear his breath hitch as I brought it across my stomach, past my hip, and below my dress.

“Come on, Jaxon,” I whispered heatedly, letting his hand go.

He moved his hand up my thigh and stopped where I needed him most. Despite having my underwear on, it made little difference to me. He was touching me in my most central sensitive part – and holy hell, it felt good. His mouth parted again, and he licked his bottom lip, watching me as he started to rub me. It felt like thunderbolts of pleasure, so light and distant from the peak. I needed him, needed more of that feeling.

As if reading my mind, he leaned back over top of me and, without moving his hand away, put his mouth over mine. I pulled at his shirt, wanting it off, and he obliged quickly, throwing it on the floor somewhere. My hands ran down his solid back, and the contact of his flesh riled me up even more.

Sensing my eagerness, he pulled away and undid his belt, peering down at me with those hungry eyes. “Sara,” he whispered shakily as he pushed his pants down, “what does that make us after we do this?”

“What do you want to be?”

Pausing, he leaned over and tenderly kissed me. “I want you to be mine.”

“Are you sure you want that?”

“More than anything.”

In truth, I was terrified. Hidden in the depths of my mind, I worried we were over before we began, that this would break us and never return us to the comfort of what we once were. And the bad thing about it was that we needed each other, always had, and if this destroyed us, we would be fragments of the people we used to be, without each other, incomplete.

I kept that thought buried because in that moment I desperately wanted him. Wanted us.

He undressed himself in silent haste, raking his eyes over my body. Trying to prolong my undress, I removed my earrings and necklace, and kicked off my heels. They fell on the floor, but against our heavy breaths it barely made a sound.

Blood pumped in my ears as I looked over his body. Solid, broad, and sculpted beautifully, Jaxon looked positively divine. I felt that ache in my core at the sight of his naked body, and when he leaned in to kiss me, the heat of his skin penetrated through my dress. It was strange how I suddenly needed my own skin touching his, and that this dress was in the way of total completion.

His kiss was gentle and cautious; he was knowingly entering a territory that had for so long been off limits. His hands went around my waist, and he pulled me up, never breaking our kiss. Easing me out of bed, he set my feet down on the floor. His lips moved down to my jaw and then my neck, working its way to my shoulders. My breathing was shallow at this point and my face hot and flustered.

When he walked around me, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, summoning the courage to do this without overthinking it. I knew I wanted him with a fiery depth that went on and on, but I didn’t want my inexperience to ruin the moment.

I felt his fingers on the zipper at my back. He was so close I could feel his body heat envelope me as he slid the zipper down and bent his head to my neck, trailing wet kisses that sent shivers all the way down to my toes.  His erection pressed at my lower back shamelessly, reminding me how much more experienced he was than me. You’ll be okay, he’ll take care of you, I told myself.

My dress hit the floor, and the air on my half naked body was welcoming against my flushed skin. He walked back around me and took a few steps away, staring at me in his naked state with an unreadable expression on his dimly lit face.

“Take your bra off,” he quietly demanded.

I took a deep breath and unhooked my strapless bra, letting it drop to the ground with my dress. I looked down at my toes, not wanting to see his reaction to my bare breasts. I’d never gone this far before. Hell, I’d never gone past making out with Jordan all that time ago despite his blatant want to do more.

“Now your underwear.” His voice was barely a whisper, and it strained in a way I’d never heard before. It was desire, I knew, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

I dropped my thin laced panties and stepped out of them. By reflex, I consciously put an arm over my breasts and hid my girly bits with my hand.