I Shall Seal the Heavens

Chapter 169: Heavens, You Really Don’t Know?

Meanwhile, outside the Xiao Clan mountain village, Xu Luodi flew along grim faced, surrounded by his fellow Clan Members. He glanced back, his eyes filled with venomous anger.

“Xiao Chang’en, if you can recruit help from outside, then so can I! Trifling Shaman Cultivator. If you take his powerful Spirit minion out of the equation then I could slaughter him easily. With those type of Cultivators, the only main thing to worry about is their Spirit minion. I’ll behead him in an instant!” He let out a cold snort, and then eyed his fellow Clansmen. “You head back without me. This matter isn’t finished!”

The Xu Clansmen dispersed. Xu Luodi flicked his sleeve, transforming into a colorful beam that shot off into the distance.

“The only thing I can do is to go ask help from Mr. Sang Luo. He’s at the late Foundation Establishment stage, with seven Dao Pillars. He can easily take care of the Shaman Cultivator. The only problem is that he has a very eccentric personality, and might not agree to help…. But considering the price paid for that matter a few years ago, he’ll surely agree. It will all be worth it if I can get that Spirit lake!” His mind made up, Xu Luodi sped up.

He flew for about a day before arriving at the foot of a lonely mountain. A few vultures circled about overhead. Up ahead was a pile of wood about six meters tall. On top was a corpse.

The corpse had clearly been rotting there for several months. The sight of it was quite horrifying. A few vultures were perched on top of the wood pile, picking at it. They glanced at Xu Luodi, their eyes shining mysteriously. They clearly weren’t afraid of the living.

“Xu Luodi requests an audience with Mr. Sang Luo,” he said, eying the corpse, his heart thumping. The corpse was clearly completely lifeless. However, he recognized the remains as belonging to a local Clan Lord whose Cultivation base had been at the late Foundation Establishment stage.

His words rang out into the lonely mountain. After some time passed, a raspy voice drifted out.

“This fellow looked down on me a few months ago, so I grabbed him and brought him here. I tied him up as punishment, but never imagined he would be so weak. He died after only two months. You, what matter brought you here today!?”

Xu Luodi took a long breath as he gave a deep bow toward the lonely mountain.

“Senior, I’ve encountered some trouble. I would like to ask for Mr. Sang Luo’s assistance to kill someone.” He spoke directly, knowing that Mr. Sang Luo didn’t like long-winded explanations.

“Kill someone…. Wahahahahaha!” A peal of ear-piercing laughter rang out. “Because of the friendship we developed that year, I can help you. But there are some requirements. A lot of requirements, actually.”

“I understand,” said Xu Luodi, lifting up a bag of holding. He tossed it out, and before it could hit the ground, it spun off into the distance, snatched up by some invisible force.

“Wait for me a few days,” said the raspy voice. “After I finish refining this guy’s bones, then I’ll go with you.” Suddenly, the vultures picked up the corpse and flew off with it into the lonely mountain.

Xu Luodi took another deep breath, his eyes glowing brightly.

“Xiao Chang’en, let’s see how you fight back this time!” His eyes filled with killing intent, Xu Luodi sat down cross-legged to meditate.

Meanwhile, back in the Xiao Clan mountain village, Meng Hao also sat cross-legged, in a small room near the lake. A soft glow surrounded him that allowed him to see out of the room, but prevented anyone on the outside from seeing inside.

The glow was being cast by nine paper talismans. The talismans had been painted by the young Xiao Clan woman and then personally delivered to Meng Hao. After setting up the talismans, she had departed with a respectful bow.

After she left, Meng Hao spat out the lightning mist, which spread out to cover the area. Finally, he could open his bag of holding without anxiety. He pulled out the Sieve Earth Pill he’d acquired from the Black Sieve Sect, and examined it closely.

As he looked over the pill, the meat jelly hat on his head began to talk. “Hey, where did I leave off just now? Right, let’s continue the matter from yesterday. You can’t do that. It’s immoral! You can’t just throw me down onto the ground. That’s too excessive!”

Meng Hao didn’t respond. The meat jelly hadn’t stopped talking at all. It seemed it could speak on a single subject for an entire day. It would be one thing if it didn’t repeat itself, but it did, and never seemed to get bored, either.

“What would happen if you hit a little kid….?”

“It’s also bad for the grass and plants….”

“The little fish and other creatures are all innocent….”

It felt like a buzz in Meng Hao’s ears. He tried to ignore it, but the meat jelly hat’s voice seemed to be growing louder. Eventually, it was shouting, its voice so loud that it drifted past the lightning mist shield to the outside. When they heard the voice, the Xiao Clan members all exchanged glances.

“SHUT UP!!” Grinding his teeth, Meng Hao grabbed the hat and threw it onto the ground.

“Eee? I wasn’t finished. Where did I leave off? Oh well, let me change topics. You can’t do that. It’s immoral….” Meng Hao lifted his head up toward the sky, his expression more and more unsightly. After a moment, he stood up and began to trample on the hat.

The old man’s pedantic face suddenly appeared. Even though Meng Hao was fiercely trampling it, it didn’t let out any miserable cries. Instead, it seemed to speak even more earnestly. “You can’t do that, it’s too cruel! It’s too immoral!”

“What do you want?” said Meng Hao, taking a few steps back and clenching his jaw. “You escaped, why are you following me? Go away. Go!”

“Eee? I’ve bonded you as my master. Bonding a master means bonding for life. I would never, ever be so immoral as to leave. I would never do something so lacking in principle, so lacking in….” Meng Hao slowly lifted his head up and stared blankly into the air. Enough time passed for two incense sticks to burn, and he finally looked back at the hat.

“…so lacking in character. I just told you seven hundred and forty-five things that I lack. Do you see how civilized I am? How sincere? In a word, I would never leave you.”

Meng Hao didn’t say anything. He suddenly lifted his hand and summoned a Flame Dragon, which slammed into the hat. This time, a miserable cry rang out, only to be quickly replaced by endless chatter. The hat was undamaged. As Meng Hao stared at it, veins popped out on his forehead. He had always thought of himself as good-tempered, but as of now his temper was exploding. He jumped up and down a few more times on the hat, trampling it.

But… a few moments later he stopped. Continuing to gush words, the hat returned to Meng Hao’s head. This time, however, it changed colors. Now it was green, and its appearance was a bit more exaggerated than before 1.

Meng Hao’s face turned dark.

“Look, child, don’t struggle. I’m a good person. I’m trying to help you. You’re on the path of wickedness, but I’m willing to use my own power to help you. Child, perhaps you are unaware of how many young people take a wrong step in life, and then regret it for an eternity. I’ll help you cast off the bitterness. I’ll help you free yourself from that damned bird. I failed in my last life, and the life before that, and the life before that, too. That damned, despicable bird is the only bird I’ve never converted!” The hat seemed to be grinding its teeth now. “In this life, I will convert it!”

“Who is this bird you keep talking about?!” said Meng Hao, his face grim. A strange feeling had risen up inside of him. This hat couldn’t be killed and couldn’t be thrown away. It really was extremely annoying.

“You don’t know?” asked the hat, suddenly flying off of Meng Hao’s head. It’s shape suddenly rippled back into the meat jelly. The archaic face appeared, and it looked disbelieving as it gazed at Meng Hao. “Heavens, you really don’t know who that damned, mass-murdering, shameless….” The meat jelly began to quiver as it let off streams of curses. Meng Hao let out a long sigh and looked up into the air. After the time it takes an incense stick to burn, he finally looked back at the meat jelly.

The meat jelly was finally concluding its description: “…should be thrown into a cesspool, damned bird? You really don’t know who it is?”

Meng Hao glared at the meat jelly for a long moment before slowly saying, “I don’t know.”

“You really don’t know?” asked the meat jelly, shocked. “You really, really don’t now? Impossible! You really, really, really don’t know?”

“I. Don’t. Know!” Meng Hao clenched his teeth. It was really frustrating trying to communicate with this meat jelly.

“Heavens! You have its aura on your body, but you don’t know. How is this possible? How can you not know? Heavens, heavens. You really, really, really don’t know?” Its eyes widened and filled with a look of complete disbelief.

Meng Hao didn’t know what to say. He closed his eyes and sat down to meditate. With a bang, the meat jelly transformed back into a bright green hat and flew back onto Meng Hao’s head.

Considering that Meng Hao was wearing scholars’ robes, the hat was extremely conspicuous. Anyone who caught sight of it would surely do a double take.

Enough time passed for an incense stick to burn.

“But, how can you not know?”

Two incense sticks.

“… Inconceivable! You actually don’t know….”

Two hours.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Oh, I understand. You’re ashamed. Look, it’s okay. I’m a good person. I will do everything I can to bring you back from the path of wickedness. I….”

Meng Hao’s face grew more and more unsightly. He really had reached his breaking point. His temper exploded. He roared, grabbing the hat and throwing it outside. He slapped his bag of holding, and nearly a hundred flying swords appeared and shot toward the hat. Meng Hao’s hand flickered with incantations, and the Flame Dragon and Wind Blade appeared.

A boom rattled out in all directions, striking fear into the hearts of all the Xiao clan members. Xiao Chang’en’s eyes went wide. Even though he couldn’t see what was happening, the explosion itself was astonishing.

The young woman looked dazed, and then a strange expression appeared on her face.

Meng Hao ground his teeth, stalking forward, slashing his finger and covering it with blood. In a twinkling, the Blood Finger had appeared. His other hand flashed with the Eighth Demon Sealing Hex.

Massive explosions filled heaven and earth. A moment later, the ripples died down. Meng Hao’s entire body exuded bitterness as he stared at the meat jelly, which skipping and hopping about energetically.

“It’s so strange. You really don’t know. How is it possible? You really don’t know!”

1. If you’re unfamiliar with what green hats mean in Chinese culture, check out this article