Hope Smolders
Page 6He laid his hand over hers. “Not tonight. Relax.”
The contact was electric, the zing from his hand over hers shooting through her nerve endings and hitting all those sweet spots that hadn’t been touched in a very long time. She took a hard swallow of sake, her eyes watering.
“Wow,” she said, glad she had a glass of water at the table to wash it down with.
“It’s kind of strong,” he said. “You might want to sip it.”
“Now you tell me.” But she did sip after that, and she liked the flavor. “I’ve never had sake before. It’s interesting.”
“Sake and beer are good together, too. Some night when we have a designated driver, I’ll get you toasted on it.”
“Hey, I’m not the one who’s driving.”
He signaled the waitress and ordered an Asian beer and another round of sake.
Her eyes widened. “I was joking, you know.”
“I’m dead serious.”
She arched a brow. “You would get me drunk?”
“In a heartbeat. Easier to take advantage of you that way.”
As if the sake hadn’t already made her sweat, his words sent her up in flames. “I…see. You’re going to have to go a little slower, Will. I’m out of practice.”
He smiled at the waitress as she brought the beer and sake along with their lettuce wraps, then he turned his attention back to Jane. “I don’t know about that. Seems to me you’re doing just fine.”
She took a sip of the beer, also surprisingly good. Probably a little too good, because she started to feel the buzz. “Just stop me if I start to strip off my clothes and climb up on the table to dance.”
“Duly noted. Here, have some food.” He scooped some chicken onto a piece of lettuce, rolled it up, and slid a plate across the table in front of her.
She didn’t want to eat. She wanted this nice, relaxed feeling to continue and didn’t want the food to ruin it. She hadn’t felt this way for a long time. And she had no kids around, no responsibilities, didn’t have to worry about Ryan and Tabby arguing or throwing things and talking too loud or wanting to go play a game. She could sit back and have an adult conversation. When was the last time that had happened?
Chelsea was right. She deserved this. But she also didn’t want to end up on the floor after the first half hour, so she took a bite of the wrap, which was oh so good.
“I’ll bet you do this a lot,” she said, trying not to devour the wrap in two bites once she realized how hungry she really was.
“Do what?”
“Go out. Eat. On dates.”
He’d fixed one of the wraps for himself and had taken a bite. He chewed thoughtfully, took a drink of water, then leaned back in the chair. “Well, I do eat.”
She pinned him with a look. “You know what I mean.”
“I do know what you mean. And no, I don’t date a lot. For the past several years I’ve been on the night shift. There aren’t a lot of women to date during daylight hours.”
“You had weekends, though.”
“I had night shift on a lot of the weekends, too. I wasn’t exactly high man on the totem pole. You get the shit shifts when you’re working your way up.”
“Oh. I hadn’t thought about that. Must have really screwed with your social life.”
“Okay. Point taken. So what have you been doing?”
He shrugged. “Sleeping. Going to the gym. Hanging out at home or going out for a beer with my friends when I do get some time off.”
“Sounds about as exciting as my life.”
He shot her a smile. “Minus the kids, but yeah, it’s hard to have a relationship when you know you’re not going to be able to take a woman out on a Friday or Saturday night, or when you know your schedule is going to be the kiss of death before you can ever get anything started.”
She lifted her sake. “Welcome back to regular working hours, then, Will.”
He clinked his glass of water against her sake. “Thanks. It’s good to be in the land of the living again. And the same to you.”
He had a point. “Thanks. It’s nice to be out without the kids. I don’t get adult conversation all that often.”
“You should have been out well before now.”
She took a deep breath. “It was important the kids had me around.”
“For a while at the beginning, yeah. For two years? Come on. You don’t need to sacrifice your entire life just because Vic took a hike.”
She lifted her beer and took a long swallow. “Oh, how about we don’t talk about Vic tonight?” Or…ever.
“Sure. Okay, sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry.” She’d snapped at him. Wasn’t she turning out to be a fun date?
“You don’t have to be sorry. You have a right to not want to talk about…that.”
“No, I need to stop pretending he doesn’t exist. I just wanted a nice night out tonight without thinking about my kids or my ex-husband. Is that selfish of me?”
He picked up her hand, and there was that zing again. “You have a right to have anything you want tonight.”
“That’s a dangerous thought.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is. I am, after all, with an officer of the law.”
His gaze went dark. “Do you have illegal intentions?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Like I said, I don’t get out much. I might want to let my inner bad girl out tonight. What if I want to go skinny-dipping in the lake?”
“I can make that happen.”
She laughed. “And you’d protect me when our local law enforcement shows up to arrest me.”
“I just happen to be best friends with local law enforcement. So, yes, you’re in the clear.”
“Good to know.” Not that she’d ever do that, but it was fun to think about.
Will watched the myriad of emotions cross Jane’s face.
Her mouth was distracting. She had lip gloss on tonight, calling attention to her lips, which were full and kissable. He was getting hard, probably a bad thing to do at the restaurant.
He adjusted his napkin in his lap.
She’d been so tense and nervous earlier, which was cute, because it was so obvious she wasn’t used to going out on dates.
Hell, he was a little rusty, too. He wanted this night to be good for her. He wanted everything to be good for her. He wanted to make her laugh, and then later, he wanted to make her scream—in the fun way.
“So, are you ready to get na**d and do your skinny-dipping now, or wait until after dinner?”
Her lips quirked. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not even dark yet. And the park is still open. Way too many people wandering around to see my na**d butt.”
“Okay. We’ll do it after dinner. When the park closes.”
Jane loved Will’s sense of humor. And speaking of dinner…her continued buzz reminded her they needed to order. She picked up the menu and perused it. The next time their waitress wandered by, they ordered food.
She wanted this to last all night.
CHAPTER SIX
For the next hour, Jane lost herself in conversation and one of the best meals she’d had in too long to remember. By the time Will paid the check, she was stuffed, and her buzz had lessened somewhat.
“Thank you for that,” she said as he held the door to the car open for her.
“It was my pleasure.”
No, it was definitely hers. She’d remember this for a long time.
Figuring he’d take her home, she was surprised when they headed downtown, and even more surprised when they ended up parked across from Cain’s Ballroom.
“I thought maybe you’d like some music.”
“I love music.”
He held her hand as they crossed the street and continued to hold it when they went inside. “There’s an indie rock band playing tonight. I’ve heard they’re pretty good, so I thought we’d give it a shot.”
They were more than pretty good. She and Will were on their feet the whole time, dancing and getting down to the band’s music, which was a little alternative, a lot loud, and raucous. She had worked up a good sweat by the time the band took a break and they headed toward the bar.
“A beer?” he asked.
She shook her head and opted for a soda instead. Will did the same.
“You don’t have to turn down a beer just because I’m not having one,” she said.
“I’m not. I’m driving, and the drinks I had at dinner were more than enough.”
And he was responsible, so unlike her ex—who she reminded herself she wasn’t going to think about tonight.
They leaned against the bar. Jane took a long swallow of her drink to cool down.
“I love this band,” she said. “It was so thoughtful of you to bring me.”
“Obviously you like music,” she said.
He nodded. “All kinds. And I try to get out to listen to a lot of different music whenever I can. It’ll be much better now that I have my nights free. Live music is always better. I remember when Vic and I would hit these shows with the up-and-coming bands all the…”
He stopped. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. We can’t pretend he doesn’t exist.”
“I know you’d like to.”
She shrugged. “He was a part of your life as much as he was a part of mine.” It never occurred to her that Vic bailing probably hurt Will as much as it hurt her, though for different reasons. Will and Vic had grown up together, had gone through grade school and high school together.
Will had known Vic almost his entire life. And Will was on one side of the law, while Vic was most definitely on the other.
It probably killed him to see Vic go down such a self-destructive path, and then completely disappear.
They made their way back to their seats and waited for the band to return. “Vic never talked to you about any of it?” Jane asked.
Will looked at her. “Any of what?”
“His issues. Leaving?”
Will shook his head. “I knew he battled with the drugs and alcohol. He always liked to drink, probably more than any of us. You know when you’re younger, you don’t pay much attention to that. The drugs didn’t come ’til later, and I didn’t know about it until he was heavily into it. He was good at hiding it.”
She leaned back in her chair. “Tell me about it. He was so good at masking it, at appearing normal—at least for a while.”
He put his arm around the back of her chair. “We don’t have to talk about Vic. I know it brings you down.”
She turned to him. “Actually, it doesn’t. Not any more. I’m sad for my kids, of course, because they’re too young to understand. But I’m over him being gone.”
“Seeing me reminds you of him.”
His fingers caressed her shoulders. Distracting. But good. “It does, but not in the way you think. I was wondering how you felt about it—about him. We never talked after he left. I was so self-involved, worried about the kids. I never asked how you dealt with it.”
Will shrugged. “I was pissed at him for what he did—not only to you and the kids, but to himself. He had so much going for him. Great job, incredible wife and family. He pissed it all away for drugs and alcohol. I tried to talk to him, but—well, you know how it was.”
She nodded. “Yes, I know. His demons were powerful and irresistible. I can’t begin to understand it. I never could. But they dominated his life and he couldn’t beat them.”
“Seems to me he didn’t even try. That’s what makes me so angry. He didn’t fight his addiction.”
This was usually the part where she bailed, because it was so painful to talk about. No woman wanted to feel like she wasn’t worth fighting for, which was why whenever anyone wanted to talk about Vic, she closed up and refused to allow the conversation. She’d lived through that hell for all those years, had begged Vic to go to rehab, had threatened to leave him. She’d done everything she could to make it clear what he stood to lose. And he’d still chosen his addiction over her and his children.
What did that say about her? She’d asked herself that question countless times over the past two years, and hadn’t liked the answer. Finally, she stopped asking the question, and had refused to take the blame for Vic’s failings.
“It wasn’t my fault. He’s the one who failed.”
Will frowned. “What? Of course it wasn’t your fault, Jane. Vic’s the bad guy in all this. You know that, right?”
She nodded. “It took me a while to get there. For a long time I blamed myself. I tried to figure out where I failed him, until I realized he was the one who was weak. He was the one who failed. Not me. I was there for him. I’d have done anything for him. He just got so deep into that thing he loved more than me and his kids he couldn’t see straight.”
“I know. Believe me, I know. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to talk to him. Hell, I offered to pay for rehab if he’d just go.”