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Holy Frigging Matrimony

Chapter One

I SIT IN A HIGH-BACKED CHAIR in the corner of the bedroom in a suite at The Plaza hotel, flipping through the advertisement-packed pages of Bride Magazine. Female-targeted ads are ridiculous. I don’t care how “flawless” looking the makeup claims to be; if you don’t already look like a Victoria’s Secret model, no cover-up in the world is gonna make you look like one.

Another thing I don’t get—everyone always raves about The Plaza, but the room is wall to wall florals—the bedding, the upholstery, the framed pictures. It looks like it was designed by a deranged Mistress Mary, quite contrary-obsessed grandmother. I shift in the chair, trying to get comfortable, but the seat was obviously made to be “looked at” not “sat in.” I give up on the magazine and wait.

Waiting for what, you ask?

For Kate, of course.

She’s behind the closed bathroom door, probably taking a bath. And she doesn’t know I’m here yet. It’s going to be a surprise. A lust-filled, haven’t-seen-her-in-twenty-four-hours-and-I-can’t-wait-to-get-inside-her kind of surprise.

You have no idea what’s going on right now, do you? Well, hang on; you’ll figure it out shortly.

Because the bathroom door opens, and Kate steps into the bedroom. And like a dog who hasn’t seen his master all day, my lonely c*ck lifts its head at the sight of her.

She holds a champagne glass filled with bubbly, orange liquid. Her hair is twisted up in a high knot, while delicate, curling strands brush against her damp neck. She’s wearing a short, red silk robe that leaves little to the imagination—which is exactly why I bought it for her.

I smile when she sees me. Her beguiling brown eyes widen. “Drew?” She glances at the door. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I know. I snuck in. I’m stealthy like that.”

She steps towards me. “If Dee sees you, she’s going to freak out.”

I scowl at the mention of Kate’s psychotic best friend, whose mission in life is to interfere with mine. “Screw Dee. I wanted to see you.”

Last night was the first night we’ve spent apart since Kate moved in with me. Now, you might think that one night shouldn’t be that big a deal—but you’re wrong. Ask any recovering drug addict which night of detox was the worst? When they were hungriest for a fix? The initial hours of withdrawal are always the hardest.

Kate smiles forgivingly, but reminds me, “The guys aren’t supposed to see the girls before the reception. It’s a tradition.”

I stand up and pull Kate flush against me, because seeing her, smelling her vanilla- and lavender-scented skin, makes touching her a must. “It’s a stupid f**king tradition. And that’s not even accurate—the actual rule is the groom isn’t allowed to see the bride before the ceremony. Delores just made up this shit up to make me miserable.”

Are you starting to figure it out now?

Kate giggles. “Because everything is always about you, right?”

“Well…yeah.”

I lean in to kiss her lips, but she leans back. “You can’t stay here.”

I counter her dodge with a move towards her neck. I kiss and suck the sensitive skin above her collarbone. Delicious.

I mumble against her, “Sure I can.”

Kate tilts her head with a sigh, giving me more room to taste, even while she argues, “And when Dee finds out you’re here?”

“If Delores comes in this room, she’s going to get an eyeful.” I chuckle. “Maybe she’ll go blind. Or she’ll learn something—lucky Matthew.”

Kate sees the wisdom of my words. Or else she’s just as horny as I am. Her body relaxes against mine and her arms tighten around my shoulders, giving in.

Victory is mine.

My hand slides beneath her robe, palming her soft, gorgeous tit. And I whisper, “Tell me you missed me last night.”

She pushes against my hand, wanting more. “I did.”

I trail light, tickling kisses down her chest and bend my knees to reach my target. I rub my face against the velvet flesh of her breast, breathing lightly on her aroused nipple. “Tell me you thought about me, Kate.”

“Mmm…I always think about you.”

I reward her words with the flick of my tongue. I lave her gorgeous nipple, then suck it into my mouth. Kate holds onto my head for dear life. And just as my hand makes its move up her thigh…

There’s a knock, and a voice comes from outside the bedroom door.

A grating voice, like the one those Satan-worshipping teens from the ‘80’s probably heard when they played their heavy metal records backwards.

“Kate? Hey, Katie, did you fall asleep in there?”

Delores thought it would be a great idea for her and Kate to share the two bedroom suite for the night. Their mothers shared an identical one a few doors down.

Kate tenses and I close my eyes, praying she’ll go the hell away.

But not surprisingly, my prayers go unanswered. The doorknob jiggles. “Kate, open up.”

I get in one last drag on Kate’s tit, then release it with a pop. She closes her robe and drags me towards the door, pushing me to the corner so I’ll be hidden when it opens. Then she breathes deeply, brushes her hair out of her face, and cracks the door open just enough to see Delores.

Kate tells her, “I’m here. I was just taking a bath—what’s up?”

“The photographer’s on his way. Get your buns moving—he’ll be here in an hour.” Delores pauses, then asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m fine.”

Suspicion swims in Dee’s tone. “You look flushed. Why are you all flushed?”

Kate is good at almost everything she does. Except lying. She sucks at that.

She waves her hand at her face. “I…I don’t know.”

“Were you masturbating?” Dee teases.

Oh, to all the angels and saints—how I wish she f**king was.

Watching Kate get herself off—in front of me—would be epic. It’s a major fantasy. But she’s hesitant, self-conscious. I’m trying to get her comfortable with the idea. Two birds, one stone and all that.

For guys, it’s a phenomenal turn on. So if you ladies are looking to spice things up a bit? Try a little self-diddling. Trust me—your audience will be begging for an encore.

Kate scoffs, “No, Dee, I wasn’t masturbating.”

Delores still isn’t convinced. “Are you having phone sex with the Goatfucker?”

Phone sex.

Also at the top of my to-do list.

“I told you to stop calling Drew that,” Kate scolds.

“I know—you’re right. I can’t help it. I picture his face and it just comes out of my mouth.”

Now Kate sounds impatient. “Okay—yes, alright? I’m having phone sex with Drew.”

“Eww! Why did you tell me? I don’t want to know that.”

Kate sighs. “Then why did you even ask? Look Dee, you worry about you right now, okay? I’ll make sure I’m ready when the photographer gets here.”

Begrudgingly, Delores says, “Alright. Your mom’s almost dressed, if you need any help.” Then she suggests, “Hey—maybe you should leave him hanging? Dipwad’s balls could be our something blue.”

“Goodbye, Delores.” Kate closes the door.

After we hear Dee close the door to her own bedroom, Kate locks ours and turns to me. “She’s onto us. I’m going to have to make sure she’s completely occupied before you sneak out. You might be here a while.”

I grin. “Oh, no…however will we ever fill the time?”

Kate turns and walks towards the forgotten chair. The silk robe sways teasingly, revealing the barest glimpse of her sumptuous ass.

“You’ll be filling the time perusing Bridal Magazine, while I get dressed. Not all of us can look presentable in five minutes flat.”

I shrug. “Seven if I need to shave.”

“Regardless. There’s no time to mess around—even for a quickie.”

I stalk towards her. “A—there’s always time to mess around. B—it depends on your definition of quickie. My interpretation happens to be how quickly I can make you scream my name. Past experience has shown I can make that happen pretty damn fast.”

For the first time, I notice the lace undergarments laid out on top of the dresser. A sheer, white bustier and matching string thong. I motion to them with my chin, “No garters?”

I’m not the biggest fan of lingerie, but if you’re going to wear it, garters are always a nice touch.

Kate pulls her hair free from its bun and shakes it out. Shiny darks strands fall down around her, making her look bed-rolling wild and accentuating the refined beauty of her dark eyes, pert nose, and sweetly kissable lips.

She answers, “No, no garters. You’ll understand why when you see the dress--” She stops, her expression panicked. She glances towards the garment bag hanging next to the bed. “You didn’t look at my dress, did you?”

I’m still distracted by Kate’s disheveled hair. I imagine running my hands through its soft waves, then wrapping it around my fingers for a tug while I’m buried deep inside her.

That’s why my voice sounds less than convincing when I answer, “No, I didn’t look.”

Kate points her finger at me, like a teacher reprimanding a student. “Tell the truth, Drew.”

“What am I? Ten years old?”

“Emotionally? Sometimes. But that’s beside the point. Did you peek at my dress?”

I reach around her waist and press our lower halves together. “No, baby, I didn’t look at your dress.”

Kate settles in to my embrace, toying with the neck of my t-shirt as she explains, “I’m glad you didn’t look, because I want you to be surprised. You’re going to lose it when you see me in it. It’ll be your new favorite dress.”

I kiss her forehead, and work my way down over her temple, across her cheek. “My favorite dress of yours will always be…the one on the floor.”

I nip at her lower lip as my hands skim the silk from her shoulders. “Like this robe.” Kate lowers her arms, allowing me to slide it off her completely until it pools around her feet. “It’s my f**king favorite.”

Then I cup her jaw in one hand and kiss her fully. Deeply. I waste no time in sliding my tongue against hers, which eagerly joins mine in the sensuous give and take.

Between kisses I whisper, “You taste like champagne.”

She giggles as I move to her shoulder, scraping it with my teeth and then soothing the love bite with my lips.

“It’s a mimosa. I had a few with breakfast and some more in the bath.”

I push her knees open with my leg and caress the firm flesh of her ass, before dragging her up onto my thigh. The friction makes her moan. She pulls my head back down to her lips for another mimosa-flavored kiss.

Holding her steady, I move us back to the bed. I slide her down my leg and lay her in the middle of the rumpled sheets. Then I pull my t-shirt over my head and push my gym shorts to the floor.

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