Hold Me

I know this park.

It’s the one where I was walking with Jake the night Julian kidnapped me.

The memories that come are sharp and vivid. In a dark flash, I relive the terror of seeing Jake unconscious on the ground and feeling the cruel prick of the needle on my skin.

“Are you okay?” Julian asks, and I realize I must’ve gone pale. His eyebrows come together. “Nora?”

“I’m fine.” I attempt to smile as the car comes to a stop at the curb. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.” His blue eyes narrow. “If you’re not feeling well, we’re going back to the house.”

“No.” I grab the door handle and tug at it frantically. The atmosphere in the car feels heavy all of a sudden, thick with memories. “Please, I just want some fresh air.”

“All right.” Apparently sensing my state, Julian motions to the driver, and the door locks click open. “Go ahead.”

I scramble out of the car, the anxious feeling in my chest easing as soon as I step outside. Taking a deep breath, I turn to see Julian climb out of the car behind me, his face taut with worry.

“Why did you choose this park?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even. “There are others in the area.”

He looks puzzled for a second; then understanding displaces worry on his face. “Because I had already scoped out this place,” he says, stepping toward me. His hands close around my upper arms as he gazes down at me. “Is that what’s bothering you, my pet? My choice of location?”

“Yes, somewhat.” I take another deep breath. “It brings back certain . . . memories.”

“Ah, of course.” Julian’s eyes gleam with sudden amusement. “I guess I should’ve been more cognizant of that. This just happened to be the easiest park to secure, since I had all the schematics from before.”

“From when you stole me.” I stare up at him. Sometimes his total lack of repentance still catches me off-guard. “You scoped out the park two years ago for my kidnapping.”

“Yes.” His beautiful lips curl in a smile as he releases my arms and steps back. “Now, are you feeling better, or should we go back?”

“No, let’s take a walk,” I say, determined to enjoy the day. “I’m fine now.”

Julian takes my hand, lacing my fingers through his, and we enter the park. To my relief, in the daylight everything looks different than it did on that fateful evening, and it’s not long before the dark memories recede, retreating back to that forbidden, closed corner of my brain.

I want to keep them there, so I focus on the bright sunlight and the warm spring breeze.

“I love this weather,” I say to Julian as we pass by a playground. “I’m glad we came out.”

He smiles and brings my hand up to brush a kiss across my knuckles. “Me too, baby. Me too.”

As we walk, I see that the park is unusually busy for a Friday. There are older couples, moms and nannies with their charges, and a good number of people my age. I’m guessing they’re college students, home for the long weekend. Here and there, I also spot a few military-looking types doing their best to blend in.

Julian’s men. They’re here to protect us, but their presence is also a stark reminder that I’m still a prisoner in a way.

“How were you able to find me?” I ask when we sit down on a bench. I know I should stop dwelling on the past, but for some reason, I can’t stop thinking of those early days. “After our first meeting at the club, I mean?”

Julian turns to look at me, his expression unreadable. “I sent a guard to follow you home.”

“Oh.” So simple, yet so diabolical. “You already knew you wanted to steal me?”

“No.” He clasps both of my hands between his palms. “I hadn’t come to that decision yet. I told myself I just wanted to know who you were, to make sure you got home safely.”

I stare at him, both fascinated and disturbed. “So when did you decide to abduct me?”

His eyes gleam a bright blue. “It was later, when I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I went to your graduation because I told myself you couldn’t possibly be the way I remembered you, the way you appeared in the pictures I had my guards take. I told myself that if I saw you in person again, this obsession would disappear . . . but of course it didn’t.” His lips curl with irony. “It got worse. It’s still getting worse.”

I swallow, unable to look away from the dark intensity in his gaze. “Do you ever regret it? Taking me the way you did?”

“Regret that you’re mine?” He lifts his eyebrows. “No, my pet. Why would I?”

Why, indeed. I don’t know what other answer I expected. That he fell in love with me and now regrets having caused me suffering? That I came to mean so much to him that he now sees his actions as wrong?

“No reason,” I say quietly, pulling my hands out of his grasp. “I was just wondering, that’s all.”

His expression softens slightly. “Nora . . .”

I lean in, but before he can continue, we’re interrupted by a burst of childish laughter. A tiny girl with blond pigtails waddles toward us, a large green ball clutched tightly in her chubby hands.

“Catch!” she shrieks, launching the ball at Julian, and I watch in amazement as Julian extends his hand to the side and deftly catches the awkwardly thrown object.