Hold Me
Page 20Startled, I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Julian! Don’t throw me in! I like to walk in slowly—”
“I wouldn’t throw you in, my pet,” he murmurs, holding me as he descends into the pool. His eyes gleam with unexpected humor. “What kind of monster do you think I am?”
“Um, do I have to answer that?” I can’t believe I’m in the mood to tease him, but I feel ridiculously lighthearted all of a sudden. Some weird hormonal fluctuation, no doubt, but I don’t mind. I’ll take lighthearted over depressed any day of the week.
“You do have to answer,” he says, a wicked grin appearing on his face. The water is now up to his waist, and he stops, holding me against his chest. “Or else . . .”
“Or else what?”
“This.” Julian lowers me a few inches, letting my dangling feet touch the water. He tries for a menacing scowl, but I can see the corners of his mouth twitching with a suppressed smile.
“Are you threatening me with a dunking, sir?” Wiggling my right foot in the water, I give him a look of mock reproof. “I thought we just established that you wouldn’t throw me in?”
“Who said anything about throwing?” He steps further into the pool, letting the water creep higher up my calves. His fake scowl disappears, edged out by a darkly sensual smile. “There are other ways to deal with naughty girls.”
“Well, for starters”—he bends his head, his lips nearly touching mine as I hold my breath in anticipation—“some cooling off is required.”
And before I can react, he sinks down, lowering us both into the water—which immediately engulfs me up to my chin.
“Julian!” Laughing in outrage, I release my grip on his neck and push at his shoulders. The pool is heated, but the water is still cool compared to my sun-warmed skin. “You said you wouldn’t!”
“I said I wouldn’t throw you,” he corrects, his wicked grin returning. “I didn’t say anything about carrying you in.”
“Okay, that’s it.” I succeed at slipping out of his hold and putting a couple of feet of distance between us. “You want war? You have it, mister!” Scooping up water with my palm, I throw it at him and watch, laughing, as it hits him square in the face.
He wipes the water away, blinking in stunned disbelief, and I back away, laughing even harder.
Recovering from his shock, he begins to advance toward me. “Did you just splash me?” His voice is low and threatening. “Did you just throw water in my face, my pet?”
I’m a good swimmer, but less than two seconds pass before Julian’s steely fingers close around my ankle. “Gotcha,” he says, dragging me toward him. When I’m close enough, he grabs my arm to bring me to a vertical position and wraps his muscular arms around my back, grinning at my ineffective attempts to push him away.
“Okay, you got me,” I concede, laughing. “Now what?”
“Now this.” Bending his head, he kisses me, the warmth from his large body counteracting the coolness of the water.
As his tongue invades my mouth, I tense involuntarily, memories of last night surfacing with sudden clarity. For a few dark moments, I relive the terrible feeling of helplessness, of painful betrayal, and I know I wasn’t entirely successful at compartmentalizing the good and the bad. As much as I’d like to pretend that today is a day like any other, it’s not, and no amount of playful laughter changes the fact that the evil in Julian’s soul will never be completely eradicated.
That the monster will always lie in wait.
And yet, as he continues kissing me, the heat of desire grows within me, luring me under its spell. He’s tender with me now, and my body softens, basking in that tenderness, in the insidious warmth of his embrace. I want to believe in the illusion of his caring, in the mirage of his twisted love, and so I let the dark memories fade, leaving me in the brighter present.
Leaving me with the man I love.
Julian
Nora and I end up swimming and playing in the pool until Ana comes looking for us, saying that lunch is ready. By then I’m starving, and I’m guessing Nora must be hungry as well. I’m also suffering from blue balls from all that making out, but that’s something that will have to wait until later.
I want Nora to eat even more than I want to fuck her.
Seeing my pet like this—so happy, vibrant, and carefree—has gone a long way toward easing the heavy pressure in my chest, but it hasn’t removed it completely. The look on her face after I took her . . . It haunts me, invading my thoughts despite my best efforts to put it out of my mind. I know I’ve done worse to her in the past, but something about last night felt worse.
It felt like I wronged her.
Perhaps it’s because she’s now completely mine. I no longer have to condition her, to mold her into what I need her to be. She loves me enough to risk her life for me, enough to want to be with me of her own free will. Everything I’ve done to her in the past was calculated to a certain extent, but last night I hurt her without meaning to.