Hit the Wall

I hated the idea that she might miss out because she was factoring me into her decision just as much as I loved that she was thinking about my place in her life while she was considering her options. So I needed to find a way for her to be able to take the New York offer without worrying about our future as a couple, and I thought I’d finally figured out just how to do it. But I needed to talk to my dad about it first because it would completely change our plans for me after graduation. I was on my way to his office to do that right now, and I was nervous as hell that he’d tell me I was fucking crazy. I just might be, but I still wanted his support anyway.

I headed straight to his office as soon as I made it to the bank. Dad’s secretary waved me in since I had called ahead.

“Hey, Dad,” I said as I walked in and spotted him sitting behind his desk, working on his computer.

He stood up to walk around his desk and gave me a quick hug. “Hey, Jackson. Your call was a nice surprise. I don’t know how long it’s been since you popped into the office to see me during the workday. Don’t you have a class or something? Or are things already winding down with graduation just around the corner?”

“I needed to talk to you and wanted to do it here, away from home, so it could be just the two of us.”

My dad cocked his head and considered me for a moment. “That sounds pretty serious. Everything okay? Anything I can do to help?”

That was so like him, offering to jump in and help me before he even knew what was going on. “Things are good, Dad. But I do need your help with something.”

He moved to the conference table and pulled a couple chairs out. “Well, come on. Sit down and let me know what you need.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat at the thought that Kaylie didn’t have this kind of support system behind her. No matter what I did or where I went, I would always have my parents’ backing. That knowledge just made my decision even easier.

“I know you’ve planned on me coming to work for you here this summer for just about forever, Dad,” I started. “I hate to disappoint you, but I want to wait before doing that.”

“What would you do instead?” he asked, waiting to pass judgment until he had more information.

“I’d like to try to get a job at one of the bigger banks in New York.”

“New York? That’s certainly a big change of plans when you’ve always talked about staying in town,” he pointed out.

“I know it is, Dad. But it will give me some valuable experience. I’ll learn a lot because I’ll have to start from the bottom without any favoritism out there. And I can bring that knowledge back with me when I return.”

“You could start at the bottom here if it’s favoritism you’re worried about,” he offered.

I took a deep breath before delivering the part of the news I figured would shock him the most. “Here’s the thing, Dad. Kaylie got an offer to dance there, and I know she wants to accept it. But she’s considering a different offer that would let her stay closer to me so it would be easier for us to see each other more often.”

“Jackson,” he sighed. “How did I know this was somehow connected to Kaylie?”

“Trust me, I know it sounds crazy that I want to move halfway across the country to be with my girlfriend, especially when we haven’t been together that long. And I don’t even know what she’s going to say about this idea because I haven’t talked to her yet. I wanted to make things right with you first.”

“Why do you think this is the right decision for you?” he asked.

“I think she could be it for me, as girly as that sounds coming from me. She has come to mean a lot to me in the time we’ve been together. We might be able to survive a long-distance relationship, but what we have between us is so new that I’m just not ready to test it that way yet.”

He nodded his head as I was explaining, as though he got what I was saying. “I understand why you might have those worries, but have you considered maybe trying it out at first instead of jumping into this decision? I’d hate to see you make a life decision out of fear.”

“Yeah, but that’s only part of why I think this is right. I also want to be there for Kaylie. This is a huge change for her, and she doesn’t have anyone else to support her except her friends. They won’t be in New York with her, but even if they were, I’d still want to be there for her. No, that’s not strong enough to explain it. I feel like I need to be there for her.”

“It means that much to you? Being able to support her from there instead of here?” he asked.