Here Be Sexist Vampires

“Well David’s who you’re facing in the line up. You’ll get your chance to weaken him when I call you – but you’re going to need to do it in quicker than three seconds. An enemy won’t let you hold onto their shoulder and wait. For anyone who can move in vampire speed, three seconds is more like ten.”

“Coach,” he said, bowing his head, before then scooting back to his spot.

Once I was back at my own spot against the northern wall I let a moment of silence drag on. This served two purposes. One: it created a hint of the suspense that they could expect during an attack. Two: my call would sound exceptionally louder against the heavy silence. I could see some of them stood tall and still while others shuffled their weight from one foot to the other and others were balling their hands up into fists. I was terribly proud to see that each and every one of them was doing the one thing that I had instructed them to in past sessions: keep their eyes on their opponent.

“Chico!”

At the sound of his name Chico abruptly lifted one hand and shot out several thorns from his palm which embedded themselves in Damien’s chest, which would have made him cry out in pain at the sting had he not astral projected a few feet away in less than the time it took to blink – a handy way to dodge.

Without missing a beat, I called out, “Salem!”

Fixed where he stood, the blonde vampire threw an uppercut toward Butch. I could almost see the ripple in the air that the psychic energy had produced as it flew from Salem and headed toward Butch. More determined than I had ever seen him, Butch placed his hands in front of his chest, palms out. The effect was like watching the sun shine on glass. The boom hit the flat, glass-like shield and collapsed to the ground.

“Harvey!”

His grin cocky and smug, Harvey made a quick movement that resembled someone throwing a small ball upwards – I guessed he intended on sending poor Denny levitating to the ceiling. Before the impact could hit Denny, he instantly liquidised into green mush. Two seconds later he was himself again. Harvey made an animal tssssk noise in frustration.

“Max!”

He always wore the same tough-bloke expression when he was reaching out to paralyse senses – his eyes would narrow, his mouth would twist, his eyebrows would dip. He had this expression now as he, with the simple gesture of closing his open hand, attempted to temporarily quash Stuart’s senses. But Stuart had literally exploded into molecules – nice dodging! – and then reassembled quickly.

“Reuben!”

Ooh, good ole Reub was nervous. I would be too if I knew that David’s power would be heading for me shortly. God that bloke was fast: vampire speed had him at David in under a second. He touched his shoulder briefly before returning to his spot.

“David!”

Reuben stood still as a statue – there was no way to dodge David’s psionic blast. Reuben could only hope that he had weakened the power enough for it to only feel a split-second pain to the effect of a hammer hitting your head.

David, stood tall and determined, exhaled heavily and then splayed his fingers; the blast streamed from his fingertips and rushed toward Reuben. Every one of us watched intently – if Reuben hadn’t weakened the power well enough, he’d end up unconscious. If Reuben had accidentally strengthened David’s blast...he would die.

I think all of us released a brief sigh of relief when Reuben simply flinched and brought his hand to his head. I didn’t give them time to celebrate though.

“Stuart!”

This was the big test for Stuart. I watched as he stiffened and then, like before, exploded. I continued to watch as the molecules rushed toward the vampire opposite him. Max jerked backwards as Stuart, in under a second, reassembled in front of him. “Hi there,” he said to Max, winking. He had every reason to be chuffed with himself though.

“Denny!”

I wondered if Denny might use his anal musk on Harvey. It wasn’t that he didn’t like him, but Harvey picked on David a lot – who happened to be Denny’s best friend. Instead, Denny flexed his hands, making them appear more like claws, and then sprayed yellowy-green ooze from his thumbs and smallest fingers – the times when he attacked were the only moments that his baby face looked in any way threatening. The ooze was sturdy and stringy, wrapping around Harvey like a web in spite of his telekinetic efforts to divert it – there was just too much of it. Denny’s dimply smile surfaced instantly.

“Butch!”

Knowing what I wanted him to do, Butch placed his hands in front of his chest, palms out, in the same way that he had before. This time, instead of leaving them there he forcefully extended his arms in front of him and then spread them to the side, pushing his invisible shield outwards and all around him.

“Chico, David, Salem – get him now!”

Thorns, a psionic blast, and a psychic punch came at Butch from different directions...but all of it hit the shield.

Last but not least...

“Damien!”

I was very surprised when he didn’t hesitate or lick his lips nervously; this was the first time I had seen him sure of himself. So sure of himself that his dark skin wasn’t shimmering with sweat. He blinked hard and then, suddenly, his astral self was lounging on the floor in front of Chico, giggling in exhilaration.

With that, the eyes of every recruit concentrated on me, all of them keen to jump for joy but desperately wanting my approval first. I made them sweat by keeping silent a few seconds. “Now you can do a sing and a dance,” I said with a smile.

They practically did. Butts wiggled and arms shot up toward the sky, and I heard plenty of whoops and an ‘Oh yeah baby!’ and an ‘Alright!’ as they revelled in their own accomplishment.

Then they were all heading toward me.

“Oh no you don’t,” I warned them, one finger pointing at them. They appeared to be ignoring it as they were still coming at me. “Don’t you dare!” Too late. I was scooped up by Reuben and hung over his shoulder while he bounced. “This is a bit dramatic!”

I ended up with some of Denny’s ooze that had been dripping from Harvey now in my hair. Not so happy about that.

I heard cheering and clapping from the spectators’ box. I looked up. Evan was smiling and nodding, impressed as he called out ‘whoo’ and clapped. He was also alone.

“I don’t know what to say,” Evan said as he reached me and we began a slow walk out of the arena en-route to the apartment block. The recruits were still celebrating their glory further on ahead of us, heading to their own apartment block by the looks of things.