Here Be Sexist Vampires

Luther smiled, shrugging. “There is no way of knowing.”

Not a great answer. “When you say ‘a glimpse of the future’, do you mean my future or the future itself? I’d rather not see other people’s future, it’d feel like spying or something.”

“The vision may indeed contain other people, but only if they are interlinked with that time in your future.”

“Are the visions clear or more like brief flashing images? I don’t see much point in getting a glimpse if it’s going to be like looking through fog.”

“Sometimes they are very clear, sometimes clear enough, and other times they are so vague that I will be awake all day trying to decipher what I saw.”

Not what I was hoping to hear. “Are we talking near future or really distant future?”

Luther giggled again. “Do you know, Sam, that not one person has ever considered this offer so deeply. You have asked some very wise questions. To answer your last question, I have no way of knowing. I cannot control the content of the visions, I can only guarantee that it will concern your own future.”

One side of me was wondering what the hell I was waiting for – a vision would be brilliant. But another side of me was thinking that things were weird enough right now without throwing something else into the mix. Luther had said that they were not always very clear. I never liked puzzles. Eventually curiosity won over. “Alright, what do I have to do?”

Luther offered me his hand. “It is very simple. You need only hold onto my hand until the vision is over. They are not very long. Thirty seconds has been the longest I’ve ever experienced.”

Nodding, I took his hand. The vision didn’t waste any time coming at me, it was like being sucked into a vacuum and for a moment all I saw was darkness. Then, as if a light had suddenly been switched on, my eyesight was clear.

I wasn’t in that room anymore with Antonio and Luther. I was in a rainforest, alone and yet not. I felt different inside. Like I was...squashed, maybe. But at the same time I felt stronger, so much stronger, so unbelievably powerful, and more alive than I had ever felt. Every nerve ending was buzzing. And in the strangest way I also felt complete and sure of something. I was looking at my hands. They both looked different – bigger, even. In fact, my entire body seemed different. Stockier. Taller. A voice in my head screamed, Sam no!

And then I was back.

I heaved in a breath, treble-blinking with the feeling of being spat out of something. I half expected to find myself on the floor flat on my back, but as much as I felt as though I had done a round trip into outer space, my body had stayed right where it was. I released Luther’s hand and took a second to centre myself.

“Sam? How do you feel?” Antonio searched my eyes. “Dizzy at all?”

“Baffled beyond belief.”

Luther sighed. “Yes...I can sympathise.”

“You really didn’t see what I saw?” I asked him.

“No. Remember that you need not share the vision with anyone unless you wish to.”

“I don’t think I could even if I wanted to,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck which seemed to have a crick in it.

“Why?” enquired Antonio.

“Because I didn’t understand a bloody second of it. I wouldn’t know how to explain it.”

“Maybe in time it will come to make sense,” suggested Luther.

“I doubt it.”

Chapter Four

(Sam)

Seen as I knew I had a few hours before my time with the new recruits, I thought it was a good a time as any to go clothes hunting around the shops within The Hollow. Sebastian had given me a month’s wages in advance to allow me to afford to do so. He was beginning to feel more like a doting uncle.

I wasn’t surprised when Fletcher begged to come along, pressing forward the argument that seen as Jared was busy with the recruits and I wouldn’t be in the office he wasn’t needed right now. He even arranged for his boyfriend, Norm, who was just as cute as him, to take over on Fletcher’s desk. Basically Norm would serve as an office guard, though I couldn’t imagine who would have any wish to root through any of our files.

I was extremely impressed with the shops. There were at least five that specialised in clothing alone. Fletcher’s advice was more like pressure-selling.

He told me, “It’s a good job I’m here to help or you’d be walking round looking like a Tom-Boy, and we just can’t have that. You need something that compliments your figure.”

“I still need casual stuff for while I’m coaching the recruits.”

“Oh don’t be daft, a nice show of cle**age will make them better behaved.”

I had to admit it would have taken me a lot longer to shop if he hadn’t been my ‘wardrobe assistant’, as he called himself. He didn’t tot around having a gander, instead he seemed to know exactly what he was looking for and I swear he was like an animal in the jungle. It was like he could sniff out the clothing and my sizes. It was fascinating to watch.

Then before I knew it I’d have a handful of stuff to go try on. His input wouldn’t end there. He would then pass judgement on what suited me and what didn’t, and I have to say he was brutally honest. I actually learned a few things about myself that, truthfully, I couldn’t have cared less about. Apparently I have calves that would go with any skirt or shoes, a bust so ‘fantastic’ that skin-tight or flimsy tops should be my priority, a bum so ‘luscious’ that any tight jeans were ‘a must’, and hips that had ‘the softest flare’ so I should wear pants that fasten beneath them. Oh and he selected me some dresses; if I hadn’t specified that they could not be shorter than just above knee-length he’d have had me looking like a stripper. I drew the line when he wanted to help me pick out my underwear.

At first I was surprised to see that the stores sold things like make-up and shampoo and stuff, but then I realised that those must be for the humans. Personal hygiene isn’t an issue for vampires. Brushing my teeth or hair isn’t necessary. Nor are body lotions or perfumes. We each have our own alluring scent and the texture of our skin is beyond perfect, with no freckles or scars or moles. My skin will become paler over time due to my nocturnal lifestyle and lack of exposure to sunlight.

For the purpose of luring in prey, vampirism grants you sexual appeal by illuminating your best features. This means, for me, that my long dark hair is never unruly or greasy or tangled, it instead has a silky appearance and is extremely soft to the touch. My lips are constantly glossy and a plum-pink colour. My aquamarine eyes always look bright and inviting as though I’d used eye drops, and they have the darkest, thickest eyelashes to frame them. Still, I was no Keja.