Heart Recaptured

Fuck, Li… please be fuckin’ okay.

Chapter Nineteen

Lilah

Leaves from a tree outside the window danced as shadows cast against the bedroom wall. It was dark outside and a deathly silence overpowered the night. It was not a pleasant sight, those leaves. The dark shapes joining together, crisscrossing, and shaking almost looked like demons crawling along the wall, stalking me… taunting me. I squeezed my eyes shut to escape the haunting sight.

My legs were numb. I tried to move them to a different position but winced when a pain jolted through my body from my core. I was sore. Micah was rough, causing blood to stain my thighs, his seed dried down my legs.

I had lost count of how many times he had taken me—each time reciting scripture, my soul reacting, shaking me from within, my eyes rolling back, and a personal plea to the Lord flowing from my mouth.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,” Brother Micah would shout with every thrust of his hips, every pull on my hair wrapped around his fist, and every flood of his seed spilled into my womb.

Exhausted from his arduous task, Micah had left, leaving me unmoving on the bed but promising to return tomorrow. I did not want tomorrow to arrive.

I had never felt this… dirty, this used before. At the end of every Lord’s Sharing in the past, I accepted that I was one step closer to salvation. But Brother Micah had not taken me to save me; no, he was punishing me for his lashes, tearing my hair, purposely causing me pain as he entered me dry. He scratched and sank his teeth into my shoulder, bruised my hips with his unrelenting grip, and marked my neck when he pinned me down, almost choking me.

I had only ever been taken by Brother Noah my entire life. I did not know what it was to make love, to feel pleasure at one’s carnal touch… until Ky. His touch had changed me; his love had fundamentally transformed something within me.

He had shown me this joining was… wrong.

I blinked once. Twice.

This joining is wrong! This whole place is wrong!

Lips trembling, I used my palms to push myself off the mattress and maneuver myself into a sitting position. An unfamiliar energy coursed within me. Before I knew what I was doing, I stumbled to my feet, righted my soiled-with-blood-and-seed dress, and staggered to the door.

Pressing my ear to the wood, I could not hear anything outside. Slowly opening the door, I checked the hallway was clear and tiptoed outside.

Voices drifted from a room at the end of the hallway. I assumed it was the room where the guards resided. It was only a short trip to the exit door, so as quiet as possible, I made way toward it and outside into the night air.

Feeling lightheaded, I followed the pathway and it led me to the edge of the woods. I did not have any conscious thought, but simply followed my feet as they picked up pace and tried heartily to run. And run I did.

I burst through the cover of trees and ran. Ran as fast as my weakened legs would allow me. I had no idea where I was or where I was running to, but I did not care, visualizing Ky in mind. His image kept me strong. I must leave… I could not believe that I, Delilah, a devout follower of the prophet, was attempting to flee to the outside.

My breathing sounding hollow. I stumbled over a fallen branch. I was exhausted, my body in dire need of rest. As my palms and knees hit the ground, I tried to stand up, but I could not. With my cheek to the dried leaves, I heard raised voices approach, one voice in particular standing out—Brother Micah.

“Here! She is here!” he shouted, and in seconds, guards surrounded me.

Arms scooped me up. Dazed, I found my eyes looking into Brother Micah’s. His lips were tight and his gaze furious.

“Were you trying to escape, whore? Were you deserting your people again… your prophet?”

I did not say anything in response. I knew the consequence for being a deserter, and I doubted anything I had to say would be considered.

Brother Micah’s eyes lit with revenge and he said, “We will take her to the prophet. This Satan-created whore is beyond salvation, beyond redemption. She is evil to the core. Prophet Cain will not tolerate her attempt to flee back to those evil men.”

I did not care anymore. Let them do to me what they wished. I could not live this way. If my soul could not be saved, Ky could never love me purely. I would rather die than have his love under a ruse… and I would rather die than continue to live under the prophet’s rule.

This commune was not what I deemed sacred. Sex was used immorally. Scars were being thrust upon unwilling souls.

I welcomed the charge of desertion.

For the first time in my life, I welcomed the ultimate relief from this evil living within me.