Haven (Apocalypsis #4)

I walked over to Bodo and whispered in his ear. “Give me your gun. Go get that damn canoe. Or I’ll do it.”

He handed me his gun without argument, leaving me to swim across the water. Grabbing the edge of it, he swam in a modified backstroke to bring it over to where I battled the current, not as close to the edge as I wanted to be.

The speed of the water carried Bodo downstream, so I struggled along to meet him where he finally landed on the banks. My arms were trembling with the effort of holding both guns above the water.

When I reached the canoe, I threw them both over the edge to fall inside. I had expected them to make a hell of a clattering, but didn’t care; it was either that or lose them to the river. But something in the boat muffled the sound of the guns’ landing. My heart froze as I considered what that might be.

I threw the shells in next and then grabbed the edge of the canoe, tipping it down towards me.

Inside was a body dressed in animal hide and moccasins. There was a lot of blood and the person who it had come from wasn’t moving.

“Jason!” I yelled, a sharp gasp escaping my lips as I realized I was calling every murdering canner my way with my shouts.

“Jason,” I said more quietly, jumping up to smack him on the head, trying to get a response from him. The boat rocked my way, tipping really far to the side.

“Don’t!” growled Bodo. “You’re going to tip it ofer, and we needt to get inside.”

“But Jason’s in there.” I was so confused. Why was he out here in a canoe all by himself? And why was he covered in blood?

“He’s dead,” said Bodo, reaching in and grabbing Jason’s shirt.

“What are you doing?” I asked, freaking out because it looked like he was trying to pull Jason out.

“We haff to get in da canoe and he hass to come out.” He grunted with the effort of hauling Jason’s lifeless body towards him.

“He might not be dead!” I said, nearly crying now. “You have to be sure! And you can’t just leave him here in the water for the gators!”

“We can’t keep him in da boat. Get back. Get outta da way.” He wasn’t paying me any attention, too focused on wrestling around with Jason’s body.

I punched Bodo in the arm, using my knuckles to get his attention. “Hey! Asshole! We’re not dumping him!”

Bodo stopped his struggles with Jason and glared at me. “You want to die? Fine, den. Go aheadt and die.” He started swimming away.

My heart was breaking into a hundred different pieces. I watched Bodo’s body cutting through the water cleanly, like he didn’t have a care in the world - like a boy we called a friend wasn’t bloody and dead in this boat I was hanging onto. Like we hadn’t ever been in love.

“What is your friggin’ problem?” I asked, my voice full of the tears that I was battling to keep from falling. This was so not the time to be disintegrating into girly emotions.

He turned to tread water. “You needt to ask me dat? Right now?”

“Yes! I do!” I whisper-screamed at him. “I really do. Is what I did so bad that it can’t be forgiven? That you have to hate me forever? Didn’t we have something special that meant something to you?”

He stared at me with a hard look for a what felt like a long time. Then he swam back, never breaking eye contact with me. When he finally got to the side of the boat, he grabbed the edge of it, facing me from not more than six inches away.

“What you did … it hurt my feelingss. I trusted you.”

His words made me angry. Angrier than angry. “Trust? You’re talking about trust? You of all people should watch your step when that word comes up, Bodo.”

I had expected him to get mad, but that was not the emotion that came to the surface.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

Suspicious. Guilty. He did something! My heart was beating so hard against my ribcage I was sure he’d see it.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re no one to be talking about being trustworthy.” I really wasn’t sure what I was referring to; in my mind it could have been the fact that he’d hidden Nina from me, or his history, or any number of things. But for some reason, whatever was going through his mind was making him lose some of his anger. Now he looked more scared or bratty than anything else.

“Whatever dey said, it’s not true.” He frowned.

My mind was going a million miles an hour. Who’s they? What could they have said? Does he mean kids back at Haven? Kahayatle? The Amazons? It could have been anyone at this point.

I decided now was not the time to try and worm it out of him. I had to play it cool until we were safe again. Then I would totally take him down for whatever it was that had him so worried right now.

“Let’s just forget about it for now and deal with it later. We need to put Jason up on the bank.”

“He’s too heavy.” Bodo wasn’t fighting me nearly as much now.

Guilt, guilt, guilt. He’s done something. The more I thought about it, the madder I became. Energy surged into my body, giving me superhuman strength.

I walked over to the edge of the river, hauling the canoe with me. I scrambled out of the water and grabbed the edge of the boat, pulling it up to the edge as far as I could. It wouldn’t stay there long, but I only needed it to be there for a minute.

I reached inside and grabbed Jason by the shoulders of his shirt. Shaking him hard, I said, “Jason. Jason. Are you okay?” His head lolled to the side and for the first time I noticed that his eyes were open.

I put my fingers on his neck, unable to feel a pulse. “He’s dead,” I said softly.

“I already told you dat. He has a gunshot in his chest. Move him to da land. Come on.” Bodo stepped out and leaned into the boat, taking Jason by the side of his shirt.

Together, we pulled his stiff body out of the canoe and dragged him up onto the bank, hiding his remains amidst the tree roots that rose up out of the water in a tangle.

“What’s going to happen to him here?” I asked, as Bodo tipped the canoe a little, trying to get water in there to wash out some of the blood that had pooled and coagulated in the bottom. The smell of iron was strong, making my stomach churn.

“Probably da gators will get him.”

I swallowed past the huge lump in my throat, barely able to speak. “But that’s … that’s not right.” Tears burned my eyes.

“It’s fine. Dat’s da circle of life. He’s gone now. Dat’s just da shell.”

I knew he was right, but it still felt terrible to leave Jason here like this. He’d helped save those kids from the canners and had always been very loyal to his people.

“Could you leave me out here like this?” I asked. It was a loaded question, but I had to hear the answer.

“Of course not. Get in the canoe,” he said, not looking at me.

“The canners are going to pay for doing this,” I said, getting in while he steadied it. I prayed Rob, Winky, and Paci had gone directly to the ranches and not tried to go through here first. I didn’t want to find anymore friends like this.

I tried to avoid stepping in the remaining blood but it was impossible - the stuff was everywhere, staining the whole inside of the boat pink and red.

“Yes. Dey are.”

Bodo took up the paddle that was inside the boat, pushing us off the bank and pointing us downriver.

“Get da guns ready,” he said.

I picked them both up, resting one on each thigh. I was at the front of the boat with an index finger on each trigger. If any canner showed his face in front of us, he was going to get it blown off.

We came around a bend in the river we knew well, the place were we used to pull boats up when we were going to the ceremonial hut of the Miccosukee tribe who lived here. Or who had lived here before the asshole canners had come in and ruined everything.

Even from the water we could hear the laughing and shouting.

I turned to look at Bodo. “Who do you think that is?”

“Not da Meeks or da Creeks. Dey are never dat loud.”

“Or obnoxious,” I said, moving my fingers so they were tighter on the triggers. Only when the front of the boat bumped into the shore did I abandon my post and get out to secure the canoe to some nearby roots, using the vine-ropes that were always there for that purpose.

There were three other boats already there. Judging from the moccasin I saw partway over the edge of one, inside it was the body of another kid we knew.

I stepped into the water, moving over to that boat. I reached inside and turned the body closer to me, moving the boy onto his back.

“Oh my god,” I jerked my hand back. When Kowi groaned, it felt like my heart had leaped up into my throat to choke me.

“Kowi!” I whisper-screamed. “Oh my god, Kowi! What are you doing here?!” There was too much blood in the bottom of the boat. Way too much blood.

“They surprised us,” he said softly. Blood was coming out of his mouth and staining his teeth. When he breathed out I smelled the iron of it.

“Why are you still here?” I asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the ranch?”

“I had to come back … wait. Find Coli …” He coughed a little, more blood coming out of his mouth to run down his face.

“Who else came back?” I asked, feeling so sick I could hardly keep from vomiting. My face was burning with the increase in blood pressure. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.

“… Mandy… Jason …” His voice gave out before he could finish.

Maybe there were more kids here, maybe not, but I was never going to know. I could see the light leaving his eyes as his body went completely slack.

“Oh my god,” I whispered, reaching out and putting my hand on his cheek. It was still warm and spiked with beard stubble. Tears flowed down my face and I had to struggle to keep the sobs silent. This was so unfair. Such a needless, useless waste of life.

I was no preacher’s kid like Jamal and Ronald, but I sure wished I was in that moment. I couldn’t think of the right words to send Kowi on his way, and for some reason, it felt really important to me in that moment that I do this.

The sorrow I felt at losing him from this world was almost too much to bear. He was such a proud, good man - a real leader. And his life had been taken in the cruelest of ways, when he was trying to take care of his people. He died not even knowing if he’d been successful.

Through my sobs, I said the prayer that came from somewhere out in the ether. “Kowi, I’ll remember you for the rest of my life. And if I ever have kids, they’ll remember you too. I promise to take care of your people and get them to safety. Have a safe journey.” I pushed his lids closed and stepped back from the canoe.

I pulled the narrow boat free of its moorings and sent it down river, praying that the spirits who inhabited this place would guide him wherever he needed to go. I looked up into the sky after the boat turned a corner. “Dad, please take care of him. He’s one of the good ones.”

A vision of my father standing at the end of a tunnel of light with his arms held out filled me with a brief sense of peace. I’d probably made the whole thing up in my mind just to move past the pain that was tearing me up inside, but a piece of me felt like Kowi was in good hands now, on his way to heaven or wherever it was that my dad was waiting for me. I stood there in the water until I couldn’t see Kowi’s boat anymore.

And now it was time for me to take care of business, down here on Earth. Down here where kids who murdered others in cold blood paid the ultimate price.

Murderous rage replaced the sorrow I had for Kowi’s untimely and unfair end, filling my every cell. Death had come to Kahayatle in the form of soulless canners, and now death was going to come once again - in the form of me. Bryn Mathis. Ball-biter. The girl who wouldn’t quit until every one of those cold-blooded bastards paid for the pain they’d caused.