Hate to Love You

“Hey!” Missy wore a warm smile as she came toward us. “I didn’t know you were coming to the game.”

My things had been packed away in the minivan already. They’d be brought back in a month when I’d move into a triple room with Casey and Kristina. The room change had been approved, but I thought she had left this past week.

“You, too. I thought you went home yesterday.”

“Oh.” She shook her head, gesturing to Holly. “We’re sticking around for the weekend, going back on Sunday.” She saw Gage and paused, frowning. Her eyebrows pinched together. “You’re . . .”

“Oh!” My one secret that remained a secret. “This is my brother.”

Holly noted, her eyes wide in awe, “You’re Gage Clarke.”

Gage nodded, his arm coming around my shoulders. “I am. I’m famous. I’m Kennedy’s brother.”

“You were in my stats class.”

Gage nodded like he already knew this. I knew he didn’t. He said, “Hope you did better than I did. Mr. Trellyps was not a fan of mine.”

“Yeah . . .”

This was why I kept it a secret all semester, or tried. This look of shock, awe, and something else darker in Holly’s gaze.

Missy said, “Your brother is Gage Clarke, and I’m kicking myself now for not putting the two together.”

Holly’s cheeks reddened, and she glanced away.

Missy added, “And you’re dating Shay Coleman.” She shook her head, her eyes narrowing at me. “You’re like a stranger. I thought I knew who you were.”

Kristina shifted closer to me, but it was Casey who spoke up. “Ever thought maybe she did that for a reason?” She gestured to Holly. “Both of your reactions proved why she doesn’t. You’re already looking at her differently. When I stopped up there once, I got the distinct impression you couldn’t believe she was friends with me. Imagine how you would’ve been when you realized Shay Coleman was in your room.”

The closet!

I forgot, and started laughing.

When they looked at me, I waved a hand in front of my face. “Nothing. Sorry. Uh, yeah. I’m private for good reason.”

Missy shot back at Casey, “You obviously knew. Is that why you’re friends with her?”

A death look came over Casey’s face. “I became friends with her when she supported me through my rape.”

Holly’s head snapped back up.

Missy’s face drained of color. “O-o-h. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Exactly.”

Casey turned her back on them, her nostrils flaring.

Feeling a twinge of sympathy, I nodded to Missy, indicating we should step to the side to talk. She hesitated, but in the end, she came with me. I felt the others watching, but to some extent, this was none of their business.

She stuffed her hands into her jacket, kicking at a rock on the ground. “This is it, huh?”

“I don’t want you to think I kept things from you on purpose. It was never personal.”

Her foot paused, but she didn’t look.

“You were attacked, and you didn’t reach out to me.” She lifted her head, her bottom lip trembling. “How’s that not personal?”

“You treated me like I was beneath you.”

“When?”

“In looks. In things you said. You were surprised I had a friend when Kristina came up to the room, and you fell over when Casey did. You can’t tell me you would’ve looked at me differently if Gage came knocking on the door, or if you knew about the one time Shay was in the room.”

She went still. “He really was in our room?”

“Our closet. I made him hide, but he refused the second time you came to the room.”

She cocked her head to the side, her forehead wrinkling then clearing as her eyes rounded. “That night I thought you were masturbating? I was so grossed out by you.”

“Yeah.” I itched behind my ear.

She expelled a breath of air, shifting back on her feet. Her shoulders relaxed. “Do you know what it was like when I heard about your attack? Then I heard what Shay Coleman did because of you? And that you were dating? I almost fell to the ground. I thought it was a lie, but the front desk girl said it wasn’t.”

“Sabrina.” I nodded. “She knows Shay. She knew we knew each other.”

“I just don’t get why you didn’t tell me.”

I shook my head. “I have reasons.”

Missy brushed some of her coarse black hair back, readjusting the hood on her coat. I had to think about how I would react if I found out she knew another football player, or maybe the other team captain. I wouldn’t have. No, that wasn’t true. I would’ve felt a little relief because if I saw her in the house, I could say hello or we could talk freely about things. I wouldn’t have felt hurt. Then again, I was only coming from my point of view.

I tried to imagine from hers.

She knew Holly and Holly’s cousin. Holly knew guys. She was the one in the group who had a different crush every week. I couldn’t remember hearing Missy talking about guys or anyone else. It was always Holly or the cousin.

Those were the only two people I saw her with. Ever.

She looked at me. I felt compelled to apologize, but I didn’t. I’d been hurt by her in the beginning, and I didn’t keep quiet to hurt her personally.

“Oh, hey.” She tugged at her coat’s collar. “Some girl stopped by the room and asked about you.”

“What? Who?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never seen her in my life. I don’t know. She didn’t leave a name or number, or anything. I just thought I should mention it.”

A girl? Someone she didn’t know, too. Maybe it’d been Aby or Becca looking for me before they knew to find me at Shay’s house?

Maybe.

“What’d she look like?”

Another shrug from Missy. “Blonde hair. That’s all I remember.”

Becca had blonde hair.

Then I was distracted when Missy asked, “I suppose you’re going to some big parties tonight?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t talked about it.” I caught sight of Sarah and Laura. They were heading out in a different group of people. “They are, but I don’t know what we’re doing.”

“You and Shay . . .”

“Yeah . . .” I trailed off, too. This was becoming awkward. I cleared my throat. “Thank you for being nice to my mom and helping with my stuff.”

A smile cracked her rigid exterior. “Your mom is funny. She dressed up as a college student when she came to get your things. I think she missed a few decades. She had a Trapper Keeper with her.”

I groaned. “Of course, she would.”

I didn’t know what else to say after that. Missy must not have either because we both fell silent. She went back to kicking that rock around.

“I guess I’ll see you next semester?”

I nodded. “Looks like it.”

“I’ll see you then.”

She lifted a hand in a small wave, returning to her group, and it felt like a chapter closing. Kristina came over, rested an arm around my shoulders, and sighed. “How’d that go?”

“Was I wrong in not telling her about Gage and Shay?”

“No one should ever make you feel guilty for not opening up about yourself. You’ll want to open up to the right ones.”

That was true. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

“Come on.” She patted my arm. “Your man’s probably waiting by now.”

I sagged closer to her. I liked hearing those words.

My man.

Shay parked on the street outside his house. Every light on the main floor was on, as well as the lights in the basement, a few more on the second floor, and one from the third floor.

Shay grunted. “I do believe we’re having a party.” He looked at me. “What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“We can go somewhere else.”

I frowned.

Kristina and Casey asked about our evening plans, but I hadn’t known what we were doing. I knew now. Reaching over, I laced our fingers together, resting our hands on his leg. “I think I should call Kristina and Casey, and we should all go to the party.” ns class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7451196230453695" data-ad-slot="9930101810" data-ad-format="auto" data-full-width-responsive="true">