Hard to Love You

5

Thankfully things work out and we have home games this week. This is good for Cooper and I, we won’t have any problems attending Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding. It’s Wednesday night and we’ve just wrapped up another winning game, I want to go to a bar and get drunk; I need the numbness that it provides. Being home is driving me crazy because I can’t go to Hailey’s house and bury myself in her like I want to. I’ve driven past her house a few times and every time her car is there. I try to pump MacKenzie for information on her but she tells me to f**k off. I’m not surprised, they’re like sisters; but still I’m her blood, she could at least give me something. I even tried Hunter but he told me he’s not getting in the middle.

Cooper and I are renting a house near Hunter and MacKenzie since it’s pointless to spend the money to buy one when we’re barely there. It works for us, the house is a split-level, Cooper takes the lower half and I have the upper. The only thing we share is the laundry room. Jaylinn stays here when we’re on the road, just to keep things up for us and to get our mail. I’m still not really sure what is going on with them. Cooper used to bang random girls all the time, and then something changed between him and Jaylinn while we were away at school. I haven’t seen Cooper with anyone in months, that’s like a lifetime for him.

Jaylinn is never far from Cooper when they are both in town, I mean never. She comes to every home game that she can when she isn’t away for one of her soccer games and always spends the night with Cooper when they are both home. I see them kiss and they flirt all the damn time and it’s to the point of disgust. Cooper worships the ground Jaylinn walks on. I’ve talked to Cooper about Jaylinn but he just says they’re friends and dismisses the conversation. I don’t know what is going on with him. He used to talk to me about everything.

This Brittany shit is eating me up inside but in the pit of my stomach I feel like it could be true. Cooper was sleeping around a lot before, maybe he really did it. I know I have to talk to him but I’m just trying to figure out a good time to do it. I figure I’ll wait until after the wedding, it is only a few days away. No-one needs the drama at this wedding.

I’m sitting on the couch watching highlights of the day’s baseball games on ESPN when Cooper comes up, “You ready to go? Jay wants to check out this band that’s playing at the bar tonight.”

I click off the TV, flip my black Yankees hat backwards on my head, and grab my wallet and phone. “Let’s go.”

We walk out just as Jaylinn is pulling into the driveway. Coop rides shotgun and I climb in the back seat.

Cooper leans over and kisses her on the cheek, “Hey sexy.”

She giggles and looks in her rearview mirror; I lean up and kiss her cheek, “Hey hot stuff.”

She continues to giggle while Cooper turns and glares at me. I call it how I see it, she’s hot. She always has been and the older she gets the better she looks, from what I can see she’s wearing a black dress and her eyes are all smoky colored, like how Hailey does hers all the time. Cooper’s gonna have one hand on her all night I’m sure. I guess I’m flying solo tonight. Nothing new there.

“You gonna behave tonight Masey?” Jaylinn asks. She’s the only one who I will let call me Masey, she always has.

I laugh, “Do I ever?” I try to keep the smile on my face but she sees right through me. She knows I’m thinking about Hailey but am too damn stubborn to admit it. I miss the hell out of her, which is why I’m drinking myself stupid. Things haven’t changed since we split, the only way I can turn off the hurt is to drink until I pass out. I tried to stop and I did manage it for a few days, but it was too much. Nothing stops the heartache.

“Nope, I guess not.” She says. Cooper grunts.

“So who are we seeing tonight? Coop said there is a band playing?” I ask, needing a distraction from Hailey.

“It’s a band called Waking Beats. Chloe and I have heard them a few times and I really like them.” She answers. “We’re gonna have some fun tonight, you and Coop can drink and I’ll be DD. That’s why I drove anyway.” She reaches over and grabs Cooper’s hand.

The rest of the drive is pretty quiet, thankfully. We find a parking spot in the back of the lot and make our way in. We walk up to the bar, order our drinks and then try and find a booth, which we just happen to be lucky enough to get, in the back of the bar. Hopefully we won’t be noticed that much in the shadows from the stage. Sometimes being home is a pain in the ass. It’s hard to go unnoticed now that Cooper and I have moved up to the minor leagues and our team is having a fantastic year.

Cooper and Jaylinn are both looking at me with worried looks on their faces. “What?” I ask.

Jaylinn looks towards the stage and Cooper curses under his breath as he reaches for his beer.

“What?” I ask again.

Cooper looks down, Jaylinn hasn’t moved so I followed her gaze and I feel like someone has kicked me in my stomach. Hailey is sitting at a table near the stage with a bunch of guys and the one guy with a black shirt on has his arm hung over the back of her chair.

I start to slowly scoot out of the booth, my intention is to go and claim my girl but Cooper stops me, “Mase, don’t. Leave it alone; you can’t go over there all caveman like I know you f**king want to.”

Yeah because I’m f**king protecting my damn family, again!

He’s right though, that’s exactly what I would have done and she would have been more pissed because she hates the extra attention. I take my hat off and throw it on the table and run my hands through my hair, pulling on it hard.

Jaylinn clears her throat and excuses herself to go to the bathroom, I look over towards Hailey and she is gone too. I’m sure they were meeting there, girl code or some shit. This is my chance to talk to her; I put my hat back on and pull it down so my face is shielded. Cooper calls my name but I don’t want to hear it.

I stand outside the bathroom, waiting for them to exit; she can’t avoid me. I’m blocking her only way out. She’s going to talk to me one way or another.

Jaylinn walks out first and stops when she notices me. I look her in the eyes, her lips are thin but she keeps walking. Hailey hasn’t noticed me yet, which is even better because she can’t lock herself in the bathroom. Damn. She looks good but I can tell she isn’t eating, she’s lost some weight and her eyes aren’t their normal pool blue color. They are more like a dull grey now.