Hard to Love You

When I open the front door I am surprised to see Mason. “Uh … hey … what are you doing here?”

Mason doesn’t answer; he pushes the door open and walks in.

“Mason?”

“What?” he asks as he makes himself comfortable in the living room.

“You didn’t answer me.” I say as I walk around the sofa.

“You wouldn’t like my answer.” He states. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t.

I roll my eyes and Ryder lets out a cry. I turn off the monitor that is sitting on the end table and walk upstairs to get him. When I go into his room he has rolled on his stomach and is still crying. I reach down and cradle him in my arms trying to settle him down. “Oh Ryder, it’s ok monkey, Mommy and Daddy will be home in a few days.” I say as I pat his bottom and pace back and forth.

“Can I try?” Mason asks me as he sneaks up behind me.

I stare at him in disbelief. He normally doesn’t do well with a crying Ryder. Mason gets all freaked out cause he thinks he’s doing something wrong.

He holds his strong arms out. “Let me see him.”

Ryder starts to reach for him. “Come here buddy, Uncle Mason will figure out what’s going on with you.” As soon as Ryder settles into Mason’s arms his cries quiet to a soft whimper. Nice. I used to have that touch with Ryder.

“Where’s his blanket, Hails?” Mason asks as he shushes Ryder, rocking him in his arms.

I go over to the diaper bag that I still haven’t unpacked yet and pull Ryder’s soft, baby blue blanket out of his bag and hand it to him. “Here you go.” As I hand it over a little piece of paper falls to the ground. I reach down and pick it up.

Hails

Use this when Ryder will not stop crying.

Xoxo

Kenzie

Great! I should have known MacKenzie would have left me little notes like this. She was worried about leaving her baby for a week while she and Hunter were off enjoying their honeymoon.

Mason starts laughing, “My sister really did think of everything, huh?”

I crumple up the paper and throw it at him. “Yeah she did.”

I leave them in the room and saunter downstairs to make myself some coffee. I really should order some takeout since I haven’t been eating properly lately, but coffee sounds better at this point.

Mason strolls down with a now happy Ryder in his arms. “When did he eat last?”

I look at the clock on the microwave. “He’s due for a bottle.”

I go over to the sink and start fixing Ryder’s milk. When it’s all warm and ready I place a burp cloth on my shoulder and go into the living room where Mason and Ryder are. The sight in front of me stops me in my tracks. Mason has Ryder propped up on his lap watching the Yankees and Phillies battling it out in the last inning. Mason looks so comfortable and at ease with Ryder. My heart aches as I picture what Mason would look like if he and I were to have a little boy or girl. I clear the thought away just as quickly as it came. Now is not the time for that.

Mason catches me staring at him, “Bottle ready?”

“Uh,” I look down to the bottle still in my hand, “Yeah.” I go over to where they are sitting on the couch and grab for Ryder.

Mason places a hand on my wrist stopping me. “I got it. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax? I know you aren’t going to get much time for yourself for the next couple of days while you have him.”

I gawk at him. What’s he really up to? “You sure?”

“Positive.” Mason grabs the bottle, lays Ryder down in his arms and then turns his attention back to the game.

Well then, I’m taking advantage of this time to go and soak in MacKenzie’s massive tub that Hunter’s just put in for her. I turn the kitchen light off and make my way upstairs to grab a pair of yoga pants and a tank top from one of my bags in the guest room. I go into MacKenzie’s bathroom and start filling up the tub, making sure to add lots of bubbles, and then work on lighting a few candles around it. I dim the lights and strip out of my clothes. I dip my toes in first, feeling the temperature. It’s perfect.

I sink down until my whole body is covered, leaving only my face above the water. All the sounds drown out until I can only hear myself breathing. I close my eyes for just a few seconds but when I open them Mason is standing above me.

I sit up quickly and try to cover by body with the bubbles. “Damn it, Mason. You could have knocked.”

He laughs, “I called your name. You didn’t hear me.”

“Can you turn around? Better yet, get out. I’ll be out in just a second.”

Mason kneels down next to the tub, “Hails, I’ve seen and tasted every inch of your body. There’s no reason to hide.” My cheeks burn thinking about the first time Mason saw me completely naked.

It was prom weekend for MacKenzie and I. Mason and I were on really bad terms after I found out that he slept with that whore Lily back in the eighth grade. I wasn’t stupid, I knew he had been with other girls; but Mason sleeping with Lily was inexcusable to me because he wouldn’t sleep with me. I always thought it was because of our age, apparently not. I hated Lily with a passion and Mason knew that. Mason had been trying to call and text me but I’d just ignored him. One of the high school basketball players, Matt, had asked me to prom. I agreed just because I really had no one else to go with and he had been the first one to ask me. Matt and I spent a lot of time together leading up to prom and I had started developing feelings for him. This was the first guy I felt anything for aside from Mason. Yeah I’ve had boyfriends here and there but I never felt a thing for any of them. I guess I kept trying, hoping I could eventually get over Mason.

MacKenzie and I had gone out to get our hair done right after school on Friday. Once that was done we had gone back to her house to get ready before the limo came. I was pulling out my clothes so I could rearrange my bags to get everything to fit when the box of condoms I bought fell on the floor.

“Umm, Hails?” MacKenzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“What? They’re just condoms.” I said trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal.

MacKenzie huffed, “I know what they are. Did you forget that I have three brothers and the jackasses can’t remember to take them out of their pockets so they are always in the washer?”

I shrugged, “I was thinking about sleeping with Matt this weekend.” I didn’t really want to have this conversation with her. MacKenzie and I had talked about losing our v-cards a lot lately but we both said we wanted to wait until we were completely sure. Now I just wanted to lose mine and since Mason wasn’t going to help me with that I’d find someone who would.