Hard to Love You

She reached over and grabbed my books from my lap and placed them on the living room table. She grabbed the Icy Hot that was laying there and looked back at me with her eyebrows raised. I nodded, hoping it would help a little. I tried like hell to get my shirt off without raising my arms but it was difficult. Hailey saw me struggling; she reached for the bottom of my shirt and slowly started pulling it up. When I was able to wiggle my one arm out she pulled the shirt over my head. I could have done the rest myself but I liked her helping me. I was a fifteen year old boy, I couldn’t help but get a little excited that a girl as pretty as Hailey was touching me.

After my shirt was tossed to the side, Hailey unscrewed the lid on the tube, squeezed out some Icy Hot and warmed it with her hands before she started massaging it into my shoulder. It hurt like a bitch but I didn’t want to let on that I probably really needed to go to the doctor and I didn’t want her to think she was hurting me again. After a few minutes the medicated rub was taking its effect and I started to feel slightly better.

Hailey had gone to wash her hands in the sink. When she walked back in she reached down for my shirt, and my shorts started to get a little tighter thinking about what it would feel like to have her wrapped in my arms. When she stood up I quickly looked away. I saw her take a few steps towards me out of the corner of my eye. I quickly grabbed for the throw pillow and placed it on my lap. I stretched for my shirt that was still in her hand and she pulled it back out of my grasp. I stood up and tried again. She stepped back just out of range. This time I grabbed her hip, held her there and yanked my shirt. She didn’t put up a fight. I looked down to see Hailey staring at me, lips parted slightly. I felt that stir in my pants again; I pushed her back a little so she wouldn’t go running for the hills. When I did, she stumbled a little like I was the only thing holding her up. She fell into my arms, both her hands on my biceps, chest to chest, legs to legs. She looked up at me with those pool blue eyes and I couldn’t look away. Everything around us was silent; I could hear my blood pumping in my ears which I didn’t think was possible with the way my shorts were tented. Ever so slightly I started lowering my head, my eyes glued to hers. When she realized I was about to kiss her, her eyes went wide. I started backing away, thinking she didn’t want my kiss but she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and placed her soft silky lips against mine. Now this wasn’t my first kiss but I knew it was hers. I was afraid to push my luck with her so I didn’t deepen the kiss; I let her kind of lead the way. She was only twelve after all and I didn’t want to panic her. She placed a few small kisses on my lips and then stepped away. I wanted to kiss her again but didn’t want to make her feel uneasy.

I looked up at her, “You should go find Kenz.”

She nodded and ran out of the living room. That was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.

I hear Cooper walking up the steps and it stirred me from that first of Hailey. I sit up, resting my elbows on my knees and pinch the bridge of my nose with fingers. I should have known all those years ago Hailey was the one for me.

Later tonight we have the rehearsal dinner at the Ocean Club Hotel where the wedding is being held tomorrow. Cooper and I pack up our shit to stay over with Jackson and Hunter at my parent’s shore house, which is about twenty minutes from the hotel. The girls aren’t allowing Hunter and MacKenzie to spend the night together; they all demanded a no boys allowed night. This means we even have little Alex and Ryder with us. If the boys want to go out and celebrate tonight I am offering to stay home. I am just not in the mood. I knew this was shitty of me as I was the best man, but I just didn’t care.

Arriving at the hotel I park at the valet stand, Cooper and I walk into the main reception area and I feel like someone knocks the air out of me. Hailey is standing at the bar in a short, baby pink strapless dress, her hair piled on top of her head, curls dangling all around. She has on white heels that make her bronze skin glow. The bartender sits two shot glasses down in front of her and begins filling it with what I’m sure is Vodka. Hailey looks over her shoulder and her eyes find mine, she holds the stare a few minutes longer than I thought she would before she turns and says something to the bartender who then sets another two shot glasses on the bar and fills them.

Cooper nudges me in the side with his elbow, “You should help her out.” He laughs and walks away in search of Hunter I’m sure.

“Asshole.” I mumble, mostly to myself since he’s already walked away.

I don’t know if I should go over there or not. I told her I was letting her go. After a few minutes of battling with myself I make up my mind and walk over to her. We need to sort this shit out, it can’t be awkward tomorrow at the wedding; MacKenzie would never forgive us.

I place my elbows on the bar and gaze over at her. I see her tense, trying not to move a muscle.

“You think that’s such a good idea?” I ask her. I don’t really know what else to say. Actually there is plenty to say, but not here, not now.

Hailey turns towards me and slides a shot my way. “Cheers.” She says with a smile.

I frown and look at the bartender who shrugs. “How many of these has she had?”

He just shakes his head.

“Asshole, I’m right here.” Hailey says, rolling her eyes at me.

Drunk Hailey is out to play, this should be an interesting night.

I take my shot, place the glass on the bar and offer Hailey my elbow. Guess we better get this party started. Hailey stares at my elbow for a minute before finally grabbing her purse off the bar and then slips her hand around my arm.

“I don’t trust my feet to get me to where I need to go. Don’t go getting any ideas.” Hailey slurs.

I try not to laugh but sometimes I can’t help it with her. Every time shit gets deep she drinks herself numb, her coping mechanism, much like mine.

When we step out onto the deck that leads to the beach, everyone’s heads turn to us. MacKenzie and Hunter do the same but have their eyebrows risen. I shake my head no.

Hailey starts to laugh and says quietly, “Did they really think we were back together?”

My mom, who is standing the closest to us, gives Hailey a disapproving frown. That frown should be directed at me since I screwed everything up but Mom doesn’t know what happened.

Hailey curses under her breath when she realizes she said that a little too loudly when it was supposed to be a whisper. I walk her up to where MacKenzie is standing and Hailey lets go of my arm. My sister hugs me and whispers, “I love you Mase.”