Hard Love (Hacker 5)

I’d been a strong person all my life, but somehow going it alone was different now. I took responsibility for my own pain, my own struggles and circumstances. Now I shared those with Blake. As much as we’d like to battle our demons alone, when one of us was hurting, so was the other. We’d joined our joys and our burdens.

And nothing could release us from the ways we were bound together now . . .

“I’m pregnant, Marie.”

A mix of joy and concern filled her eyes. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Erica, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I only found out a few days ago. We had an appointment on Monday, and everything looks good. We weren’t going to start telling people yet.”

More tears came, raining over that remembered happiness. How could this all have fallen apart so fast? When it seemed like Blake and I couldn’t be any stronger or happier, circumstances had come in and threatened to take it all away.

Marie was silent for a long time. When she spoke, her eyes glistened. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, honey.”

I pressed my fingers against my eyelids, trying to stem the tears that simply kept coming.

“I can feel Patricia looking down on us right now.”

I looked up, Marie’s face blurry through my tears. Through all of this, I hadn’t thought about my mother, but suddenly I could feel her too . . . through Marie’s love.

“And I know that she’s happy, beaming with joy. What you’re going through isn’t easy, and my heart is breaking for you, Erica, but this is a blessing you’ve been given for a reason. Hold on to it. Fight for it. Let this be your reason to stay strong for all of you.”

A spark of hope lit inside me. I reached for it, but I was so far from any kind of comfort. My tears had slowed and I sucked in an unsteady breath. “I’d like to believe that having her here right now could make things better somehow. I just don’t see how it could get any worse.”

She brushed away an errant tear and tucked my hair back. “Why don’t you come back home with me for a little bit?”

I looked down and twisted my wedding bands around my finger over and over again without answering her.

“You shouldn’t be in that big house all by yourself. Come stay with me. Even if it’s only for a day or two. A change of scenery can’t hurt.”

I’d only just come back home. But she was right. Every second in the house reminded me that Blake wasn’t in it.

“I should go back. Blake’s parents are close by if I need anything,” I muttered.

“I know, but they’re dealing with their own grief over this. Let me take care of you for a little bit until Blake can come home. You’re tired and overwhelmed. I know how you are. You’ll sit with this and make yourself sick over it. Stay with me and we can talk it out.”

Maybe she was right. I nodded, surrendered to the idea. “Okay. Let me go home and pack a bag.”

“Want me to drive you?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll go with Clay and have him give me a ride to your place a little later. I want to talk to Blake’s parents and see what the attorney said.”

I still had to swing by the office, too. As hopeless as I felt, I couldn’t go hide out at Marie’s, convalescing until this blew over. I had to pursue every lead I could until it brought me closer to the truth.

“Okay. Call me when you’re on your way or if anything comes up.”

“I will. Thank you.” I sighed heavily, unburdened of some tears, but feeling no lighter.

Marie caught my hand and held it tight. “I’m always here for you. No matter what.”

I thanked her again, stepped from the car, and let her drive away. I found Clay on the other side of the parking lot. He drove me back to Marblehead and dropped me at Blake’s parents’ house. I paused at their door, wondering if I should knock, but decided to just go in.

Fiona, Catherine, Alli, and Heath were in the kitchen.

“What’s Parker going to say?” Heath asked.

Fiona pinched the bridge of her nose. “I honestly don’t know what to say to him. I can try to explain that Blake was just trying to protect me, but obviously this is a huge invasion of privacy.”

The door clicked shut behind me and I walked in.

“Erica, honey. Come in.” Catherine motioned me over.

She hugged me when I was close enough. My whole body tensed. I couldn’t cry anymore. I’d decided last night that I was done crying, yet I’d already broken down today.

She released me with a shaky breath. “Come on. Let’s go sit down.”

She ushered us to the living room, where we all sat. Greg’s figure caught my attention. He was on the deck, leaning against the railing, his back to us.