Great Expectations

What purpose I had in view when I was hot on tracing out and proving

Estella's parentage, I cannot say. It will presently be seen that the

question was not before me in a distinct shape until it was put before

me by a wiser head than my own.

But when Herbert and I had held our momentous conversation, I was seized

with a feverish conviction that I ought to hunt the matter down,--that I

ought not to let it rest, but that I ought to see Mr. Jaggers, and come

at the bare truth. I really do not know whether I felt that I did this

for Estella's sake, or whether I was glad to transfer to the man in

whose preservation I was so much concerned some rays of the romantic

interest that had so long surrounded me. Perhaps the latter possibility

may be the nearer to the truth.

Any way, I could scarcely be withheld from going out to Gerrard Street

that night. Herbert's representations that, if I did, I should probably

be laid up and stricken useless, when our fugitive's safety would depend

upon me, alone restrained my impatience. On the understanding, again

and again reiterated, that, come what would, I was to go to Mr. Jaggers

to-morrow, I at length submitted to keep quiet, and to have my hurts

looked after, and to stay at home. Early next morning we went out

together, and at the corner of Giltspur Street by Smithfield, I left

Herbert to go his way into the City, and took my way to Little Britain.

There were periodical occasions when Mr. Jaggers and Wemmick went over

the office accounts, and checked off the vouchers, and put all things

straight. On these occasions, Wemmick took his books and papers into Mr.

Jaggers's room, and one of the up-stairs clerks came down into the outer

office. Finding such clerk on Wemmick's post that morning, I knew

what was going on; but I was not sorry to have Mr. Jaggers and Wemmick

together, as Wemmick would then hear for himself that I said nothing to

compromise him.

My appearance, with my arm bandaged and my coat loose over my shoulders,

favored my object. Although I had sent Mr. Jaggers a brief account of

the accident as soon as I had arrived in town, yet I had to give him all

the details now; and the speciality of the occasion caused our talk

to be less dry and hard, and less strictly regulated by the rules of

evidence, than it had been before. While I described the disaster, Mr.

Jaggers stood, according to his wont, before the fire. Wemmick leaned

back in his chair, staring at me, with his hands in the pockets of his

trousers, and his pen put horizontally into the post. The two brutal

casts, always inseparable in my mind from the official proceedings,

seemed to be congestively considering whether they didn't smell fire at

the present moment.