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Great Expectations

Page 345

"If I give you the money for this purpose, will you keep my secret as

you have kept your own?"

"Quite as faithfully."

"And your mind will be more at rest?"

"Much more at rest."

"Are you very unhappy now?"

She asked this question, still without looking at me, but in an unwonted

tone of sympathy. I could not reply at the moment, for my voice failed

me. She put her left arm across the head of her stick, and softly laid

her forehead on it.

"I am far from happy, Miss Havisham; but I have other causes of disquiet

than any you know of. They are the secrets I have mentioned."

After a little while, she raised her head, and looked at the fire Again.

"It is noble in you to tell me that you have other causes of

unhappiness, Is it true?"

"Too true."

"Can I only serve you, Pip, by serving your friend? Regarding that as

done, is there nothing I can do for you yourself?"

"Nothing. I thank you for the question. I thank you even more for the

tone of the question. But there is nothing."

She presently rose from her seat, and looked about the blighted room

for the means of writing. There were none there, and she took from her

pocket a yellow set of ivory tablets, mounted in tarnished gold, and

wrote upon them with a pencil in a case of tarnished gold that hung from

her neck.

"You are still on friendly terms with Mr. Jaggers?"

"Quite. I dined with him yesterday."

"This is an authority to him to pay you that money, to lay out at your

irresponsible discretion for your friend. I keep no money here; but if

you would rather Mr. Jaggers knew nothing of the matter, I will send it

to you."

"Thank you, Miss Havisham; I have not the least objection to receiving

it from him."

She read me what she had written; and it was direct and clear, and

evidently intended to absolve me from any suspicion of profiting by the

receipt of the money. I took the tablets from her hand, and it trembled

again, and it trembled more as she took off the chain to which the

pencil was attached, and put it in mine. All this she did without

looking at me.

"My name is on the first leaf. If you can ever write under my name, "I

forgive her," though ever so long after my broken heart is dust pray do

it!"

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