Great Expectations

"I don't know," I moodily answered.

"Because, if it is to spite her," Biddy pursued, "I should think--but

you know best--that might be better and more independently done by

caring nothing for her words. And if it is to gain her over, I should

think--but you know best--she was not worth gaining over."

Exactly what I myself had thought, many times. Exactly what was

perfectly manifest to me at the moment. But how could I, a poor dazed

village lad, avoid that wonderful inconsistency into which the best and

wisest of men fall every day?

"It may be all quite true," said I to Biddy, "but I admire her

dreadfully."

In short, I turned over on my face when I came to that, and got a good

grasp on the hair on each side of my head, and wrenched it well. All the

while knowing the madness of my heart to be so very mad and misplaced,

that I was quite conscious it would have served my face right, if I

had lifted it up by my hair, and knocked it against the pebbles as a

punishment for belonging to such an idiot.

Biddy was the wisest of girls, and she tried to reason no more with me.

She put her hand, which was a comfortable hand though roughened by work,

upon my hands, one after another, and gently took them out of my hair.

Then she softly patted my shoulder in a soothing way, while with my face

upon my sleeve I cried a little,--exactly as I had done in the brewery

yard,--and felt vaguely convinced that I was very much ill-used by

somebody, or by everybody; I can't say which.

"I am glad of one thing," said Biddy, "and that is, that you have felt

you could give me your confidence, Pip. And I am glad of another thing,

and that is, that of course you know you may depend upon my keeping it

and always so far deserving it. If your first teacher (dear! such a poor

one, and so much in need of being taught herself!) had been your teacher

at the present time, she thinks she knows what lesson she would set. But

it would be a hard one to learn, and you have got beyond her, and it's

of no use now." So, with a quiet sigh for me, Biddy rose from the bank,

and said, with a fresh and pleasant change of voice, "Shall we walk a

little farther, or go home?"

"Biddy," I cried, getting up, putting my arm round her neck, and giving

her a kiss, "I shall always tell you everything."