Golden Bird

She shivered as a gust of cold air penetrated the thin nylon jacket, and she turned towards home. This place, this childhood playground, could give her no answers.

She hung her jacket up in the front closet and went to the kitchen where she knew her mother would be.

"There you are, I wondered where you'd gone off to."

"Dad and David were busy piling the wood, so I took a walk down to the playground."

"And so what's wrong?" asked Edith, perceptively.

"Nothing's wrong." replied Sara, slightly indignant.

"Now don't go getting uppity with me young lady, I know you well enough to know you're troubled about something."

Sara grinned sheepishly at her mother. "You know me too well."

"So what's the matter?"

"Oh, Mom, I don't know ... no, that's not right, I do know ... it's just that I think David is going to ask me to marry him and ... I'm scared." She looked down at her mother, her eyes pleading for reassurance and guidance.

Edith moved to embrace her daughter.

"Oh, Sara, David is not Bob."

"I know that ... I'm not afraid of David,... I'm afraid of me." Her voice lowered to a whisper and she uttered the words she had been trying to deny. "I'm afraid I may hurt him."

With concern showing in her eyes, Edith studied her daughter. "Don't you love him?"

"Yes ..." came Sara's tortured reply, "... but,..."

"... but something's missing, right?"

Sara nodded and pulled a Kleenex from the box always next to the sink. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes as she tried to regain control of her emotions. Those damn hormones! She glanced out the window and spotted her father and her lover headed for the house. Behind them was a neat row of firewood, all split and stacked, and protected from the rain and snow that was soon to come with a sheet of plastic.

"We'll talk later, Mom. I'm going to splash some cold water on my face and fix my make-up. Dad and David are coming in."

"OK, sweetheart." She drew her daughter close and said softly, "Try not to worry so much. The future is hard to predict. Remember how sure you were about your career? And Bob? And yet now your whole life is different than you'd planned, and you're happy aren't you?"

Sara nodded.

"So don't worry, if David asks you to marry him, and you can't answer, he'll wait, and if he won't, then maybe it isn't right. Trust your feelings, but learn from your mistakes. David will understand."