Goddess Boot Camp

“No,” I shouted, hands fisted on my hips, on the silver satin of the bustier dress that had taken me weeks to find. The perfect dress. “I deserve to know.”

He’d hesitated, deciding whether to lie.

Just like Griffin did tonight.

Only tonight feels infinitely worse. Because I love Griffin infinitely more.

That realization clenches around my heart.

“I—” He jams his fingers through his curls. “Phoebe, I can’t tell you.”

Everything inside me stills.

At least Justin had the decency to confess dumping me for Mitzi Busch because her knees weren’t Super Glued shut like mine. Griffin wasn’t even pretending to admit the truth.

“Then I don’t believe you.” My heart splinters a little with every word.

“I can’t make you believe me,” he says, dropping his hands and taking a step back. “I thought we were past the distrusting stage. I thought you knew me better than this. Better than anyone.”

I can’t look away from his blue eyes, a little less bright thanks to the betrayal I see there. But the truth is, he lied to me. More than once. And now, even though he’s admitted to lying to me, he won’t tell me the whole truth. He’s not the only one who feels betrayed.

“So did I,” I say, turning away and walking to my desk.

“Phoebe, I didn’t mean to—”

“I’d like you to leave.” My voice cracks as I add, “Now.”

I stand in front of my desk, afraid to move until he does—afraid that my heart will shatter completely. For a long time there’s just silence, stillness in the air, as I can feel him watching me.

“I’m not Justin,” he whispers.

Then, all of a sudden, it’s like a vacuum sucks all the air out of my room. The next thing I hear is the click of my door closing behind him as he leaves.

I collapse into my desk chair, folding my arms over my laptop and laying my cheek on the smooth, plastic surface. My heart feels like it’s been ripped out of my chest. The oracle was wrong. Griffin and I aren’t fated for anything more than heartache.

It’s not until I feel the wetness on my arm that I realize I’m crying on my laptop. The last thing I need is to fry my connection to the outside world. I sit up, wipe away my tears, and lift the top on my laptop. I’ve never needed Nola and Cesca more in my life, and if one of them isn’t online, I don’t know what I’ll do.

But when I log in to chat, I see blank little faces next to their screen names.

Right. Cesca’s probably in Paris by now. Nola’s probably at the library doing research for her study. How can they both have so much great stuff going on when my life is a mess?

Yeah, I know that’s totally self-centered. It’s not fair for me to begrudge them good stuff. Especially since we’re best friends.

Not one person on my friends list is online. Not Cesca or Nola, not Nicole, not Troy. Not even the gorgon cheerleader queen—trust me, if I could get Adara off my friends list I would, but the Academy IM system seems to have a twisted sense of humor about this. How can everyone be unavailable when I need them?

While I’m staring at the screen through tear-fogged eyes, a yellow smiley face shows up next to Nola’s screen name.

Thank the gods!

I open up a new chat window.

LostPhoebe: Nola!

GranolaGrrl: hey Phoebes

GranolaGrrl: what’s up?

LostPhoebe: I think Griffin and I just broke up

GranolaGrrl: omigods what happened??

I bite my lip to keep from crying. More.

LostPhoebe: he’s cheating on me

GranolaGrrl: of course he’s not!

LostPhoebe: he is

LostPhoebe: with Adara

GranolaGrrl: his ex? that’s nuts

GranolaGrrl: he’s crazy about you

LostPhoebe: he’s been spending lots of time with her

GranolaGrrl: maybe there’s a reasonable explanation

Nola always sees the good in people. While this is a great trait in a best friend—she always looks past my bad attitude when I’m in a crappy mood—she’s not the most discerning when it comes to character. She blindly believes the best until presented with incontrovertible proof. Sometimes not even then.

LostPhoebe: there’s more

LostPhoebe: he was in her dorm room this afternoon

LostPhoebe: when he told me he was helping his aunt

GranolaGrrl: are you sure?

GranolaGrrl: did you ask him about it?

LostPhoebe: he admitted it

LostPhoebe: he says it’s not what I think

LostPhoebe: but he won’t tell me what it *is*

GranolaGrrl: I’m so sorry sweetie

New tears rush to my eyes. If even Nola is willing to accept that I’m right, then all my niggling doubts are gone. How could I have been so stupid over a guy . . . again?

GranolaGrrl: I know how much he means to you

LostPhoebe: guess it wasn’t mutual

GranolaGrrl: you never know

GranolaGrrl: he might still surprise you

LostPhoebe: doubt it

GranolaGrrl: promise me you’ll give him a chance to explain

LostPhoebe: I did

LostPhoebe: he wouldn’t

GranolaGrrl: give him one more chance

GranolaGrrl: for me

I almost say I won’t. I don’t want to. But for Nola, only for Nola, I will.

LostPhoebe: okay

LostPhoebe: for you

GranolaGrrl: I need to go

GranolaGrrl: you okay?

LostPhoebe: I’ll be fine