Glamorama

"I'm not a what?" I'm asking.

"In certain circles, in certain media circles, people know who you are." Delta this time. "You're a target."

Palakon and Crater nod subtly.

"There were certain aspects of your life that your father felt were affecting"-Delta pauses-"certain... possibilities from forming."

"Listen, Victor," Crater says impatiently. "Your dad basically wanted you to take a vacation."

"Why did he want that?" I ask slowly, in a very restrained voice.

"He felt that some of your... antics, let's say..." Palakon has trouble completing this sentence. He checks a file resting on the table, as the room seems to grow smaller. "Well, they were distracting." Palakon pauses. "They were... unnecessary. There was the possibility of bad publicity," he delicately adds.

"There was a concern that things might not fall into place properly," the Japanese man says. "There were worries that things might not work out in New Hampshire since you-"

"We don't need to go there quite yet;" Palakon says, cutting him off.

"Yes, of course," the Japanese man says. "You're quite right."

"Victor, your father didn't want you harmed in any way," Palakon says. "He simply wanted you to, well, take a break for a little while. He wanted you... preoccupied. He didn't want you in the States." Palakon pauses. "So he came to us. Things were discussed. Arrangements were made."

Silence, empty and graceless. I'm just staring at them, unable to take all this in because of certain details my mind cannot accept, and that lack of acceptance keeps spreading and I'm looking at this through a window and it's being boarded up and it's night and no one has said or is going to say who they really are.

We'll slide down the surface of things.

It's what you don't know that matters most.

The room slopes, then rights itself.

Outside, thunder.

You are beyond uneasiness. You force yourself to look at them. You stop yourself from falling over. You try to care. But you can't. Even if you wanted to, you can't. And now, in this room, it occurs to you that they know this too. Confusion and hopelessness don't necessarily cause a person to act. Someone from my first publicist's office told me this a long time ago. Only now does it resurface. Only now does it mean anything to me.

"Why did you use Jamie Fields as an excuse?" I hear myself ask.

"We delved into your past," Palakon says. "Interviews were done. There were discussions. Choices were made."

"We did not know, however, about Jamie Fields' connection with Bobby Hughes," Delta says, scratching the cleft in his chin.

"That was a mistake," Palakon concedes lamely.

"We assumed she was in Europe shooting a movie," Delta says. "That's all."

"Oh shit, that's a lie," I moan. "That is a f**king out-and-out lie. You knew more than that. Jesus Christ."

"Mr. Ward-" Palakon starts.

"You asked me to bring that hat with me and give it to Jamie Fields."

"Yes," Palakon says. "This is true. But we still had no idea she was involved with Bobby Hughes. We didn't even know of Bobby Hughes' existence until... it was too late."

"So does Bobby Hughes know who you are?" I ask, flashing on the videotape the director showed me.

"Yes," Palakon says. "Not personally. But we're fairly certain he knows of us."

"Do they know you sent me? That you're the reason I'm here?" I'm asking, trying to piece things together.

"It appears that way," Palakon says. "We don't think Jamie Fields told him."

"When did they find out?"

"It could have been as early as when you and I first met," Palakon says. "We're not sure."

"And what do they want?"

Palakon breathes in. "They want us to fail," Palakon says. "Obviously they are trying their best to ensure that this happens."

"Fail what?" I'm asking. "Who's they?" I'm asking.

"Well, who they are exactly is impossible to answer," Palakon says. "Actually there are many answers. But they obviously have decided to use you-your presence-to their advantage."

"Mr. Ward," Delta says, "we learned at a late date that Jamie Fields has connections with a faction that works in opposition to the faction Bobby Hughes belongs to. Once we found this out we discussed the possibilities of how this could affect the outcome of the situation, of your situation. We decided that any problems arising from that connection-in relation to harming you-were remote. And if you were placed in any danger we would step in and remove you from the situation."